Old School Social Networking

Black Friday

I remember a time before Black Friday.

Once upon a time, back in the mists of history, Black Friday was not a thing - for many people, they simply went to work on Friday like any other day (much like those in retail do now).  Then, someone realized that so many people were taking the day after Thanksgiving off it probably made more sense to give it and take away a different holiday).

Then, on the fateful day somewhere, someone decided they could use the extra day off to start shopping for Christmas.

I am not sure where this precisely occurred.  In the 1980's I do not recall it being a thing; by the late 1990's it was in full swing.

Then, of course, things started to expand into Thanksgiving.  First it was 'We are open at 6:00 PM", then "We are open at 2:00 PM", now "We are open all day."  The counter-shopping movement has been somewhat interesting, but to be honest many of those companies also maintain electronic stores fronts - and somebody, somewhere, is manning those.

As you would probably guess, I seldom venture out on Black Friday.  There are some good deals to be had so I am selective:  one trip, three stops, and then I am home.  I will spend my time before looking precisely for the things I want, which allows me to be as quick as I can about actually being there.

Eventually of course, Black Friday will become another relic of Retail Age, done in by the continued march of on-line retailing (after all, who wants to fight the masses when you can shop from home).  The shops will go back to being closed (because who wants to pay the salaries of workers for no business?).   And once again, the Friday after Thanksgiving will simply become another day of vacation, with grandparents telling harrowing tales of "The Great TV Rush of  '08".

Thanksgiving Day 2018

George Washington's 1789

Thanksgiving Proclamation

Whereas it is the duty of all nations to acknowledge the providence of Almighty God, to obey His will, to be grateful for His benefits, and humbly to implore His protection and favor; and Whereas both Houses of Congress have, by their joint committee, requested me to "recommend to the people of the United States a day of public thanksgiving and prayer, to be observed by acknowledging with grateful hearts the many and signal favors of Almighty God, especially by affording them an opportunity peaceably to establish a form of government for their safety and happiness:"

Now, therefore, I do recommend and assign Thursday, the 26th day of November next, to be devoted by the people of these States to the service of that great and glorious Being who is the beneficent author of all the good that was, that is, or that will be; that we may then all unite in rendering unto Him our sincere and humble thanks for His kind care and protection of the people of this country previous to their becoming a nation; for the signal and manifold mercies and the favorable interpositions of His providence in the course and conclusion of the late war; for the great degree of tranquility, union, and plenty which we have since enjoyed; for the peaceable and rational manner in which we have been enable to establish constitutions of government for our safety and happiness, and particularly the national one now lately instituted for the civil and religious liberty with which we are blessed, and the means we have of acquiring and diffusing useful knowledge; and, in general, for all the great and various favors which He has been pleased to confer upon us.

And also that we may then unite in most humbly offering our prayers and supplications to the great Lord and Ruler of Nations and beseech Him to pardon our national and other transgressions; to enable us all, whether in public or private stations, to perform our several and relative duties properly and punctually; to render our National Government a blessing to all the people by constantly being a Government of wise, just, and constitutional laws, discreetly and faithfully executed and obeyed; to protect and guide all sovereigns and nations (especially such as have shown kindness to us), and to bless them with good governments, peace, and concord; to promote the knowledge and practice of true religion and virtue, and the increase of science among them and us; and, generally to grant unto all mankind such a degree of temporal prosperity as He alone knows to be best.

Given under my hand, at the city of New York, the 3d day of October, A.D. 1789.

- http://www.wilstar.com/holidays/wash_thanks.html

On Great Mistakes and Decision Making II

Having written about my greatest mistakes, the thought would not leave me alone.  There was something about them, some thread that ran through them, that kept pointing me towards some larger conclusion that eluded me.

And then it hit me.

Every time I have made a decision from selfishness or impatience it has been detrimental.  Every time God changed the circumstances of my life it has been beneficial.

If I look through the list of the major errors and blunders of my life, they have all been rooted in either selfishness (I want what I want) or impatience (I want it now).  In every situation where this has occurred, the outcome was bad - and my bad decisions range from the intensely personal and emotional to the financial and career side.  Every time, the outcome that I desired turned to ash in my hand.

On the other hand, every time that circumstances changed because of God, they have worked out well - like finding a job after The Firm after a month or finding a job after I was laid off in 2009 just as the severance package ran out.  Or finding a home here when we needed it, or finding another one to buy just before the market peaked.  Or finding a second job here, one that has done a great deal more than I could have ever hoped for. 

What does this remind us of?  Proverbs 3:  5-8:

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart,

And do not lean on your own understanding.

In all  your ways acknowledge Him,

and He will direct your paths.

Be not wise in your own eyes:

Fear the LORD, and turn away from evil.

It will bring healing to your flesh,

and strength to your bones."

What does it mean practically?  That I need to make no decisions based on selfishness or impatience.  That I need to submit my decisions to God - and wait.  And especially, in the absence of any direction, do not move forward with either selfishness or impatience.

It means that I accept my current situation from God.  If things are not going well - whether it be my job or my finances or my personal relationships - there is a reason for it.  I need to persevere through the situation or be released from it - because it is occurring for some purpose that is ultimately good.

I cannot pretend this will not be easy.  But if I am driven by data at work, I can be no less driven by data in my personal life.  And time and again, this is what the data shows.

Wait, be patient, be blessed.  Do not wait, be impatient, do not be blessed.  It seems it is rather that simple.

On Great Mistakes And Decision Making

Yesterday morning, at the prompting of something within me that I am not quite certain of, I began to construct a list of my greatest mistakes.

To qualify as a mistake, it had to be something that I myself chose to do instead of a circumstance created beyond my control.  It also had to have ended up having a detrimental impact on m life in some form or fashion - sometimes something that has taken years to evidence itself.

The results were, sadly, rather depressing.

I came up with six major errors (no, I will not be listing them here.  You have your errors.  I have mine).  But what did come up as a consistent theme throughout each of them was that they were primarily all based in a lack of self control and secondarily based on an inability to plan for the future.  In layman's terms, I want what I want now and do not really care what impact it has on my life.

I am fortunate - more likely blessed - that none of the impact of these items are the sorts of things that permanently resulted in harm to myself or others (there are those decisions as well).  But they have done harm none the less, to myself and others - bad memories at best, true hardship (mostly financial in my case) at worst.

There is obviously a reason this is coming up now, and obviously something that needs to be learned from all of this.

I am a man of impulsiveness too often, given to wild flights of fancy about the grass which is (undoubtedly) greener on the other side of the fence - or to compensate for the dry grass on my side, I look for ways to make it more endurable.  Neither of these are the correct solution.  Instead, I need to decide how I want my lawn to be and then so manage my life within my own fences that it becomes that.

The resolution is, of course, rather simple:  make no decision based on a lack of self control (or alternatively, only make controlled decisions) and make every decision with an eye towards what it will look like in ten to twenty years (I think realistically, we can say that any consideration to a decision fifty years out is pretty wishful thinking at this point, except for those things that will impact eternity).

Which strikes me as both interesting and odd - for the first time in perhaps 50 years, I have a rubric for making decisions. I wish I had come up with this years ago.

2018 Throwing Done

This weekend we had the last of the 2018 Highland Games, at least for me (and most of us in this part of the country).  Surprising as it may sound, I still managed to get a PR in Light (16 lbs) Hammer:  61' 2", an increase of 1' 2".

It was a somewhat strange for throwing, this year.  To be frank, my heart was not necessarily in it so my throwing was pretty inconsistent.  I was on and off about attending games and practicing was virtually non-extant.

Still, to put it into context, my score in 2012 was about 1500.  My score this year (not completely finished yet) stands at around 3800 with two games left to be entered.

But every time I go, I am reminded of why I go:  the people.  In a world of social media "friends" and relationships that do not last the next new job or next move, these are your family, the family you never knew you had until you met them.  These are the ones that care - actually care, not just kind of.  These are the sorts of folks the best stories are made with: the road trips, the overnight drives, the throwing in the rain and snow and lightning and heat - and then reliving everything in the story.

As The Viking and I drove home after the game, we were analyzing how we did.  "You have enough power"  he said, "we just need to work your technique."

At this point in my life, the fact that there is still the hope of any improvement - let alone great improvement - is a heady thing.

Fellowship In The Gospel

"I have to learn that the aim in life is God's not mine.  God is using me from His great personal standpoint, and all He asks of me is that I trust Him, and never say - Lord, this gives me such heartache.  To talk that way makes me a dog.  When I stop telling God what I want, He can catch me up for what He wants without let or hindrance.  He can crumple me up or exalt me, He can do anything He chooses.  He simply asks me to have implicit faith in Himself and in His goodness.  Self-pity is of the devil; if I go off on that line I cannot be used by God for His purpose in the world.  I have "a world within a world" in which I live, and God will never be able to get me outside it because I am afraid of being frost bitten."

- Oswald Chambers, My Utmost For His Highest

A Few Words From.... Ronald Reagan

"Let us ask ourselves, 'What kind of people do we think we are?' And let us answer, 'Free people, worthy of freedom and determined not only to remain so but to help others gain their freedom as well.'"

"The future doesn't belong to the fainthearted; it belongs to the brave."

 "History teaches that war begins when governments believe the price of aggression is cheap."

Everything And Anything

The Collapse X: Power

30 June 20XX

My Dear Lucilius:

How much power do I use? What a delightfully specific (and rather odd) question to ask. But I will play along.

My appliances; Stove, Refrigerator, Water Heater, Water Pump (the microwave went out years ago when it died and was never replaced – who needs a drip coffee maker when you have an original aluminum percolating camp model and a French Press). Other than that, lights and the power to my computer and music player.

Power was one of the first things I made a serious effort on when we first closed on the place. The Refrigerator is a very old International Harvester (can you imagine such a thing still exists?) – a power drain for sure, but built like a tank (it lasted my grandparents and my uncle and may well outlast me). The Stove is something I use really only once or perhaps twice a day and the oven almost never – in summer I heat my coffee while in winter I use the woodstove to warm the water putting it in the French Press (it never seems to boil but it is certainly hot enough to make the coffee quite drinkable). In the summer I use a BBQ for as much of the cooking as can, both to conserve energy and keep the house cool (Did I tell you I tried my hand at making charcoal? Some other time perhaps; rather fascinating process).

The Water Heater and Water Pump run together: the more water I use, the more I have to use them. I have made do to this point without a clothes washer by availing myself of the local campground facilities (until that is gone, of course) so I have only a shower and dishes and drinking to account for. I have looked into very small cylinder clothes washers (I used on in Eastern Europe while I was there), but find that they are rather hard on clothes. For now, I will use what I have and make do with the bathtub when I have not.

I supplement where I can: solar panel for the computer battery and rechargeable nicad batteries, candles in the morning and evening, and the occasional use of the head lamp (although I quite despise the thing, to be honest: I look like a fool). The Winter makes the recharging a great deal more difficult (read almost impossible) but it is simply a matter of matching my life to the available light and acting accordingly. I have thought about kerosene lamps but the smell and the smoke bother me in such a small place.

I know how you think: yes, the candles have to come from somewhere and batteries eventually cannot be recharged. But that is really no different than the reality that, given our current trajectory, we are quite likely to have the lights go out as whole as well.

I have tried to test run this: in Winter (especially) I will make a run of one or two days where I “divorce” myself from power (I try to keep the items in refrigeration low before I do this). With the woodstove and its ability to heat, I keep myself going rather well: I have hot water for tea and coffee and slightly poached eggs and I have enough hot water (given time) to take a reasonable bath (yes, I understand that by using water I am “using” the pump. My counter would be with a manual handle I can do so anyway).

In any circumstances, the greatest issue is light (or the lack thereof). What I have found over time is that by minimizing generated lighting and living largely (if not mostly) by ambient light, I can manage my time appropriately – during the Winter Solstice, we have only about eight hours of daylight (for the Summer Solstice, by comparison, we have almost fifteen) and I have learned to pack in the activities during the day. By the time the sun goes down, I try to have activities that can be accomplished with the light of the fire and a single light source.

It is a matter of adaptation of course, but I am trying to adapt now before I have to.

Your Obedient Servant (currently still writing in the waning sunlight), Seneca

On Writing The Collapse

Do we write what is in our souls, or by writing does it imprint itself on our souls?

As I have been writing "The Collapse" (which is actually based on a real placed and maybe based on certain aspects of my own life), I have found myself thinking in certain ways that previously I would not have contemplated:  what would life be like if I lived life on the essentials?  What would life be like if I lived away - truly away - from people?  What is life like when you are largely alone?  What would life be like under a government which, if not actively hostile, was at least passively so?

As I write (and then read), I begin to wonder where these thoughts are coming from:  is it from myself?  Or is the character I am creating making embedding these thoughts in my mind and making them a part of my thought patterns.

The future the character lives in seems in some very meaningful ways very different from the one I foresee for myself - yet on the other hand add in a couple of twists of fate and it is a very real future indeed.

Part of our lives is built on the idea (at least in the modern world) of predictability:  that things will largely be as things have been and that the water will run, power will click on with a switch, and that my variety of apples will always be in the store.  Up to 100 years ago that was no more true in the Western World than anywhere else; now, to present this to people (especially the young) is to present a world as unreal as Barsoom or the Hyborian Age.

It also presumes that our personal relationships will remain as they have ever been, and that those friendships and family relationships we have had over the years will continue to be the same.  Practical experience of my own as well as readers of this site would tell you otherwise.

I do not fully know where the character in "The Collapse" ends up; no author ever really does.  At some point characters and situations acquire a life of their own and the author becomes no more than a journalist recording events.  But I do know that his thoughts and ideas are coming to influence my own.

Of Christmas Catalogs Past

For the first time since I was a wee lad, Toy R Us will be producing no Christmas catalog.  Sears may have one, but I suspect they will be gone by this time next year.  Best Products, it turns out, went out of business in 1997.

In other words, there will be no Christmas Catalogs this year.

Oh, how I remember waiting for them, once upon a time.  The day they came in the mail was the greatest day of the Fall.  My sister and I would carefully go through the toy section and circle the things that we each wanted - then, somehow magically, Santa got the message and at least a few of them appeared under the Christmas tree.

Sadly though, those days are gone.  I kind of wonder how families go it now - is it advertising?  Is it a list?  Is it something posted on GiantRiver.com as "Wish List"? 

One thing it is not - and will never be again:  a child under the covers with a flashlight, pouring over the colored picture wonders of possibilities and picturing what each of them would be like to own.

Feeling Unsettled

Is it incorrect to say that there is a vague sense of dread hanging over my head?

I cannot give a firm reason why I feel this way.  There is nothing in the media that is more or less shocking that it was two month or even two years ago.  But I feel it, none the less.

It strikes me as the sort of thing that happens in a group of people, where there is an issue or incident between two people that is simmering beneath the surface that is never spoken of but everyone has an inkling that something is going on, just out of sight and out of reach.

Going back into the memory banks (and I have lived long enough to have them), it seems to me that every election since 2000 has resulted in us becoming less united instead of more united and less able to discuss things in a rational manner than more so.  I look back to some of the "issues" that existed in 2000: they seem so benign and far away as if to be from another era entirely.

Something is pushing us apart and narrowing us down, something which is pushing us towards  a goal of open or quiet war.  I cannot see what is pushing us.  All I know is that the matter and anti-matter of political thought are getting closer and closer together even as they move ideologically farther and farther apart.

And we all know what happens when matter and anti-matter meet:  total annihilation. 

In Flanders Fields

(Today is the 100th Anniversary of Armistice Day, the 11th day of the 11 month that brought an end to World War I.  As always, we post the poem "In Flanders Fields" by Lieutenant Colonel John McCrae, himself not living to see this day:

In Flanders fields the poppies blow

Between the crosses, row on row,

That mark our place: and in the sky

The larks still bravely singing fly

Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the dead: Short days ago,

We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,

Loved and were loved: and now we lie

In Flanders fields!

Take up our quarrel with the foe

To you, from failing hands, we throw

The torch: be yours to hold it high

If ye break faith with us who die,

We shall not sleep, though poppies grow

In Flanders fields

Lt. Colonel John McCrae 03 May 1915

Who Am I?

"Who am I? They often tell me
I stepped from my cell's confinement
Calmly, cheerfully, firmly,
Like a Squire from his country house.

Who am I? They often tell me
I used to speak to my warders
freely and friendly and clearly,
as through it were mine to command.

Who am I? They also tell me
I bore the days of misfortune
equably, smilingly, proudly,
like one accustomed to win.

Am I then really that which other men tell of?
Or am I only what I myself know of myself?
Restless and longing and sick, like a bird in a cage,
Struggling for breath, as though hands were compressing
My throat, yearning for colors, for flowers, for the voices of birds,
thirsting for words of kindness, for neighborliness,
tossing in expectation of great events,
powerlessly trembling for friends at an infinite distance,
weary and empty at praying, at thinking, at making,
faint, and ready to say farewell to it all.

Who am I? This or the Other?
Am I one person to-day and to-morrow another?
Am I both at once? A hypocrite before others,
And before myself a contemptible woebegone weakling?
Or is something within me like a beaten army
Fleeing in disorder from victory already achieved?

Who am I? They mock me, these lonely question of mine,
Whoever I am, Thou Knowest, O God, I am thine."

- Dietrich Bonhoeffer (1906-1945), Founder of the Confessing Church, imprisoned by Nazi Germany in 1943, executed 09 April 1945, 23 days before Germany surrendered.  This poem was written from prison.

People And Power

The Collapse IX: Taxes

25 June 20XX

My Dear Lucilius:

I am grateful that the honey arrived. It is from last year's harvest, but should be good none the less. I hope you enjoy it in lieu of sugar (which, at least up here, is harder and harder to come by).

Finances. Yes, they have been a struggle for me as well. I did not intend to live on an essentially fixed income so much sooner than I did, but life often does not work out like we had intended. And even though I – we, from what I gather from as well – are on an effectively fixed income, the taxes come due none the less.

Much like you, I had a variety of taxes to consider: property taxes, state taxes, federal taxes. But events have served to effectively force my plan into place.

Sadly, I am still too young to “claim” my Social Security payments and my other investment savings are some years away from being accessible without penalty, I was left with the specter of having to either find something to do or live off of what I had. I had the money from the sale of the home and whatever I had in the bank at the time.

I had done some tax calculations prior to relocating – my wife and I had talked about it at some length – and found that for here, an income of $6,000 a year would keep us completely tax free. So that has become my maximum allowable income.

About half of that amount comes from residual on investments and savings. That is enough to pay for property taxes and utilities (electricity to supplement the solar and the water district in which I live).

Anything above that has come from a variety of sources. Since moving I have taken the odd day job – work at a ranch nearby or washing dishes for a catering event (both of which, I might add, have largely dried up) - and at the current rate of minimum wage, that is about 30 days of work. Some of it is under the table but I always report it – the last thing in the world I need now is a curious tax agent wandering through my life. And in fact, my first year here, I had no job at all. A year on $3,000 makes for a very lean go of things – after the above expenses, that left about $100 a month for everything else.

But truly, I have had no reason to complain. Even through that very lean year, my needs were met – as I mentioned earlier, you can by a great deal of oatmeal and fishing here is the cost of a license. And my interest in my garden has become more than just a hobby at this point.

That said, I am doubtful that I will ever reach the point of being able to access Social Security (as events now convince me we are closer than ever to never seeing it again). I have not fully decided to pull out my other investments at penalty (as you know, those penalties are quite steep now – almost confiscatory in nature). So I continue to live a frugal life and take the money when I can get it.

Have no worries about me, Lucilius. It is a frugal life that might be devoid of many of the “luxuries” others have, but I rest easy in knowing my little is very uninteresting to almost any one – and I am not funding the very government that so often seems to be trying to cause me grief.

Your Obedient Servant, Seneca

Sad Cheese

This past weekend I picked up making cheese again, something that tends to fall off during throwing season as it requires parts of a full day to complete.  The result was less than exciting:

This is meant to be English Farmhouse Cheese, something I have made several times with good results.  As you can see on the left, the results were not quite what I was hoping for.  For some reason the curd was not as firm as it should have been (more rennet, I suspect) and we had a structural problem transferring the curd.  And then, of course, releasing the cheeses from the molds (I use ricotta molds because they are what I have - sadly, they are not ideal).

There are fixable problems, of course.  More rennet is easy enough to add and I am looking at new molds (I think I found some Chevre molds that will do the trick).  And I did try some this afternoon - sure enough, no matter what the appearance, it tastes just as good as ever (for soft cheeses, I recommend honey over them. They make a great dessert).

The point of this (I think) is to remind all of us that not everything we try to do to be skillful or self-sufficient works out quite as we had anticipated. That is no reason not to try, though.  We only make the effort time and time again to get better.

After all, you cannot fall off the floor.

Election Day 2018, Or Why This Election Changes Nothing

Dear Friends:

Today the 2018 Midterm Elections occur in the United States (to my ex-US friends, my sincere apologies as I fear it may have taken over your news feed as much as it has taken over our own.  I can only hope this is a minor inconvenience).  By the end of the evening, we will largely know the structure of the United States Congress for the next two years.

There are one of three outcomes of this election:

1)  The party not currently in power gains power.
2)  The party currently in power strengthens its majority.
3)  There is a status quo with some seats changing hands but the balance of power at or near what it is.

In none of these solutions is there a true resolution to the ills of this state.

1)  The party not in currently in power gains power - for the next two years, there will be an inability to get any legislation passed (and multiple calls for impeachment, our version of "Replace the President before an election").  The opposition base becomes more motivated.

2) The party currently in power strengthens its majority - look for the opposition party to increase the rhetoric and unrest to continue to grow as they are motivated.

3)  There is a status quo with some seats changing hands but the balance of power at or near what it is - More of the same of the last two years.

In none of the above possible outcomes is a true unity possible.  And this is the real problem of the state.  We are tearing ourselves apart - politely (more or less) now, but more violently as we go forward.

I have been thinking of a solution where the nation emerges stronger and more united from an election, not weaker.  I cannot think of one.

I have been arguing (for years now) that the only reasonable and rationale way forward is to separate into our respective corners before we do it by force.  And I see nothing coming out of this election that will change any of that.

Sadly, I fear national unity - or at least respect for one's fellow citizens, even of a different belief - has ended.  We shall not see its like again in our lifetimes.

A Brief Encounter With Prepared Food

Last Wednesday The Ravishing Mrs. TB texted me.  "One of my acquaintances received an extra shipment from Blue Apron that they were not charged for.  Are we interested in taking it?"

Free food.  Yes, yes we are.

I am familiar with the prepared food concept:  you have your meals planned and all of the ingredients shipped to your door.  You do not have to choose recipes, decide on amounts, or even shop:  you just pull things out of the box and then prepare them that night.  I believe there are several different versions of the same service.

I happened to be home when she was opening the box.

Everything was cold (but the gel had leaked a bit on the cans).  The meats and vegetables appeared of high quality (some services tend to focus in the more organic area). All sauces, mixes, etc. are included in individual pouches.  Also included are the individual recipes with pictures (making it easy for someone as slow as myself to figure out the instructions).

That night we had Sesame Chicken with Broccoli.  Yesterday we had Beef Ragu. Although in both cases these were supposed to be four serving meals, there was well above four servings present - we had enough left over for two individual lunches.

Benefits?  The Ravishing Mrs. TB liked having everything already there, in the appropriate portions, and (other than chopping) ready to prepare.  The meals were quite tasty.

Negatives?  She looked on-line and the cost is about $8.00 a meal per person.  That is $32.00 - not quite as bad as going out, but almost.

I can understand the attraction if one was single or married and both had very busy full time careers - beyond the putting away of materials, there is only the immediate prep time (in both cases less than 20 minutes) and cooking (again, maybe 20 minutes).   But at 5 meals a week for a family of four that is $160 - far too pricey (in our case) for the convenience.

It was fun though.  And I would certainly take the food again, if offered.

Pray And Work

A Few (More) Words From...Miyamoto Musashi

"Deliberately, with a patient spirit, absorb the virtue of all this, from time to time raising your hand in combat.  Maintain this spirit whenever you cross swords with an enemy.

Step by step walk the thousand mile road.

Study strategy over the years and achieve the spirit of the warrior.  Today is victory of yourself of yesterday; tomorrow is your victory over lesser men."

- Miyamoto Musashi, The Water Book, A Book of Five Rings

The Collapse VIII: Small Town Living

18 June 20XX

My Dear Lucilius:

I received your package in the mail last week. I do so love receiving the prayer intention cards from your parish. I have quite a collection of them now – how long have you been sending them, 20 years? Sometimes I find the best pictures on them or an unusual historical fact I had not known. And yes, no-one is more surprised than I that the Postal Service continues to function given what seems to be the general degradation of social services in general.

You had asked me about living in a very small community in the current circumstances, so I thought I would indulge you.

The “town” I live in had a perhaps a population of 120 prior to the ongoing economic difficulties, split largely (it seemed) between retirees and people who are/were employed in the surrounding communities. I suspect this number has dropped somewhat, as the jobs related to tourism have all but disappeared (in an unstable environment, tourism is the last thing on people's minds, it seems). The town does have a small school building (not the one room school of yore but certainly a one building school), which may truly be the reason that it continues to exist as an entity. I believe I have referenced before that the industry of the town is a post office/gas station, a bar/RV park, and another RV Park. The RV parks appear to have more RVs than what I would expect given everything – I suspect it is due to people staying in one place rather than moving on.

For myself, I live at the end of a small country lane at the northern edge of town with neighbors at the end (to whom I wave as they head off to or come home) and a plot of land between us bearing the foundational remains of a manufactured house which was there in my youth but was hauled away long years ago. Neither party at this point knows who owns the land nor have owners contacted either of us. It creates a convenient fence between us.

As a late comer to the town of Birch – certainly not since things started to turn sideways but neither as a long time resident – I occupy a rather unusual position of almost being a “regular” but not quite so, the sort of person that if there were a coffee shop with old men drinking coffee I would be acknowledged by nods but not by name. I know a number of people by face but am seldom talked to more than a simple greeting. The neighbors have stopped as they are driving out or in and we have talked through the truck window, but that is as far as it has gone.

Which, as you can imagine, is fine by me. I have had my fill of social living before I moved – yes, the good things that come from greater interaction but the equally undesirable bad things of the veneer of character and falsity of actions versus words and just the constant need to “be involved”. I have my church visits upon occasion to fill the need for interaction – beyond that, it is a great deal of silence and thoughts and talking to the rabbits about the state of the world (and correspondences like this, of course).

Self sufficiency is not just found in the area of provision of food and shelter, it seems. It also exists in the ability of one to manage one's social interactions and needs largely by one's self. This was an unanticipated outcome of my relocation, but has become one of the most noticeable aspects.

Your Obedient Servant, Seneca

Never Be The First To Forsake A Friend

Thoughts And Dreams

Losing Communication

Sigh.  I think the result of the up coming election is - like or not - a great many people are going to stop talking to each other.

Frankly, treading the mine fields of social conversation is becoming harder and harder.  At work, you are pretty much safe to discuss work related issues or possibly what you did during the weekend.  Really, any conversation beyond that is running into risky territory.

Social media is rapidly becoming the new post-apocalyptic wasteland, with large portions of it effectively high radiation zones which irradiate anyone that enters them and other portions fantastic ruins of former cities of the Ancients called "Thought" and "Reason".  Occasionally one stumbles upon a small enclave of civilization, but those enclaves are becoming more and more threatened by the rising tide of Cryptic Alliances, tribes created out of the chaos with their own agendas, which mostly involve dominating their neighbors.  (The very desirable Martian No-Prize for those who recognize this game reference).

Which leaves, of course, one's circle of family and friends - but even these citadels are becoming breached.  Sometimes it seems truly easier just not to talk of anything remotely resembling an ongoing political cause or social event than to run the risk of finding out someone has a very different opinion than your own.

I know, I know - almost everyone has noted this (even I have, to demonstrate how obvious the trend is).  But the one thing that I think has escaped the notice of a great many is that simply put, we are never going back again.  This is the new normal.

No, I am not predicting a new Civil War.  It is an interesting theory without any substance beyond the hopeful or wishful thinking of some.  What I am predicting is that we will rapidly devolve the complete inability to converse with different opinions except (perhaps) on general issue like commerce or weather.  Beyond that, everything will have become so socially charged that it is truly easier to simply not talk at all.

Odd that in the greatest growth in history of the ability to communicate, we now more than ever have lost the ability to do so.

On Embu

This past Saturday I participated in an Embu for my Iaijutsu dojo.

Embu is always a daunting thing.  For most people, this will be the only time they see actual Japanese swordsmanship outside of (perhaps) a Japanese movie involving samurai or (more likely) an anime with some sort of sword fighting.  Secondly, everything is put into pictures and on the Interweb now so eventually it will make it back to the head of our order.

We train, of course.  It is a performance like any you would do for music or drama.  The kata are selected and that is all we practice a month up to the actual embu.    We practice entering and leaving the stage.  We time the performance.

And still, I am always nervous.  Still worried of silly things, like dropping the sword (this has never happened) or less silly but more realistic things, like slipping on the hard wooden stage or hitting something above me (both of these have happened).  Performing a kata bears with it always some element of risk - not really to others, but definitely to yourself, in pride if nothing else.

The embu itself went well - no injuries, no falls, no forgotten kata.  Of the three different subsets we did, one was very good and two were okay.  I can live with that.  The one really interesting thing was the comment The Ravishing Mrs. TB made after the performance.

"You should relax"  she said.  "You have done this for nine years.  You know this.  You just look really nervous".

I think I will need a great deal more practice before this ever occurs.

Peace And Truth

A Few (More) Words from Theodore Roosevelt

"Far better is it to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure... than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy nor suffer much, because they live in a gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat." - Theodore Roosevelt

The Warrior's Path

The Collapse VII

10 June 20XX

My Dear Lucilius:

You had asked in your last comment about my religious experiences since my relocation. It was not quite what I had anticipated but I seem to have reached a suitable equilibrium.

When I arrived, I had a choice of two immediate mainstream churches: The Episcopal one about 3 miles down the road, the Episcopal one 10 miles away, or the Catholic one 10 miles away.

Visiting a new church is always difficult and awkward, especially in a smaller community where the regular attendees are such that any visitors are quickly singled out. So one sits through the sermon and the inevitable follow on greetings and questions and “Where are you from?” and “Are you interested in membership?”

The Catholic option was right out for me (despite our years long conversations and your long involvement with the Catholic church, I am no nearer than I ever was), which left me with one of the two Episcopal churches. So I tried both.

Once.

One of the great things I have become convinced of over the last few years as I have been readjusting my life and observing the world around me is that theories which are neither rooted in faith or practice will eventually die. Why? Because in a world of the rich and prosperous, it is easy to have a variety of opinions that you may or may not support. When the world is not so rich and prosperous, you actually have to ask whether or not you will commit to those ideas and practices.

Which is the problem with the Episcopal churches – but to be fair, with most of the mainline churches I attended or knew of. They had a variety of opinions based both on the Bible as well as on popular culture. Put a little pressure on the situation, be it financial or social, and most collapse like a pricked balloon– on the side of culture. And in a less than prosperous or tolerant society, that kind of church becomes simply one amongst any number of activities which can be easily and quickly forgotten.

I have not fully worked out my own feeling on this point. There is another church – a non-denominational one – 10 miles or so the other way - that I have attended several times in the summer and here locally during the rest of the year. The people are friendly and the preaching is satisfactory. It is certainly a reasonable place to call “church home”. But I have to confess to you that I just as often find God in the silence of my every day work in the garden or in my bible reading as I do in Sunday morning services.

I do not know that this represents great theology – I know the Apostle Paul would say not – but it has been working for me to this point. Although I must confess to you, as the world seems to continue to get darker, finding fellows with whom one can fellowship with on a deep and regular basis becomes all the more important.

As always, I hope that you and your family remain safe in this storm.

Your Obedient Servant, Seneca

Longing

I had thought to find

that which I had been seeking:

instead, the rain poured.

Boil Your Water

Yes Friends, it is true: I am living under a Boil Water Watch.  In the middle of an urban environment that has had no significant disaster.

You read that right.  No major hurricanes.  No Earthquakes.  Nothing more than a lot of water that has flooded the lakes with silt and have thus "slowed down" the filtration process.

You would think it was the end of the world.

The announcement came sometime last night, in the dead of night (honestly - the water has been rising for the better part of a week.  You would have thought they would have caught this earlier).  By 0 early hundred this morning, every store was completely stripped of water.  A fellow employee told me people were pushing to get what was left.  The Local Large Box Grocery has announced they are shipping in 100 truckloads of water tonight to get us through this "Crisis".

(Worry not about us, friends.  We were prepared - plenty in storage for use and the pets and I may even get to break out my Berkey filtration device.  So excited!)

I post this mostly - other than for the true head shaking value - as evidence that Western Civilization is almost over as we know it.  A simple water shortage caused by rising silt levels with no other destruction and no inclement weather and indeed, no other issues at hand - and it is as if the end of the world has come.

Imagine when something actually destructive happens.

2018 Autumn Weather Gone Wild

So within the period of one week we have gone from 90 F to 42 F to back to sunny and 70 F.  During this time we have received 7 inches of rain

This may be the silliest weather season to date here in New Home.

How, precisely, do you plan for this?  I was late getting my garlic in but it has a week of cold.  I have pretty much given up grain for the winter here, as the hard freezes we seem to get inevitably cuts down most of it (my plan is to plant early in spring and see what happens - after all, what could go wrong, correct?) - and it seems to rain too much for it to reach full maturity without molding on me (sorghum seems to be the one solution to this, if I can keep the birds off it long enough).

Climate can be an odd thing.  Maybe it would be more helpful if I lived somewhere that I knew more what to expect.  Or perhaps this simply the way it is everywhere now.

I still have no idea if the garlic will make it.

Practice And Preaching

A Few Words From...B.H.Liddell Hart

"Peaceful nations are apt, however, to court unnecessary danger, because when aroused they are more inclined to proceed to extremes than predatory nations.  For the latter, making war as a means of gain, are usually more ready to call it off when they find an opponent too strong to be easily overcome.  It is the reluctant fighter, impelled by emotion and not by calculation, who tends to press a fight to the bitter end.  Thereby he too often defeats his own end, even if he does not produce his own direct defeat.  For the spirit of barbarism can be weakened only during a cessation of hostilities; war strengthens it - pouring fuel on the flames." - Strategy

Things To Do In Life

The Collapse VI

01 June 20XX

My Dear Lucilius:

You asked me in your last missive about others: Had I heard from them, what was their reaction then – and now.

My move, of course, created the sort of stir you can imagine for anyone of my age: there were those who thought I was crazy or “was going on an actual extended hermitage” (actual quote), there were those who could not believe I had decided to give up urban city life for some unknown wilderness (“But the coffee bars? The Nightlife?”), and there were were a precious few that simply stuck to congratulating me for being able to do the very thing that they, in some for or fashion, had dreamed doing as well.

Over time, of course, the whole circle has greatly contracted as I am no longer local for a great many activities and thus slipped from a great many people's minds. And, to be fair, I had become actively reclusive, not following up on and involving myself in most activities I had been participating in before hand. The break had to be complete.

Why this reclusiveness, you might ask? Simply put, involvement in so many ways has become a liability over the years. Who you know, what you “like”, and what you do have no longer become diverse interests to follow and be amazed at but rather things to be weaponized against the others. If you support something your are “X” - but if you fail to support something else, you are also “X” (honestly, it seems, by people who did little to support their own basic needs but expected – by buying power or charity – for others to do so). If I had ever sent Christmas Cards (Mrs. Seneca always handled that), they would have dwindled to a trickle (sad, as they make excellent kindling come January).

But somewhat of note is last year – what with the economy I can only guess – I have had people suddenly start “reaching out” (a term I detest, by the way: it is not as if they are physical touching me), wondering what and how I was doing. One or two wanted to actually just “drop by” for a week or two. Fortunately I am not very diligent about checking those lines of communication so I can always state “Apologies, I received this too late”.

Strangely enough, many of the most desperate needs to “see me” come from those whose political or philosophical or theological philosophies were the most different from my own. These are always the most poignant to me - “I know we have disagreed strongly in the past but….”

The storm, when it comes, rips up all trees without preference.

Your Obedient Servant, Seneca

The Fall Of Autumn

October's  cold winds

drive Autumn's approach away:

lover's lost caress.

On Churches And Throwing

This last weekend I traveled to East T for a throwing competition.  This was the first time I have been that far east in this, our adopted state (for the record, it is quite green and pleasant - not at all like the image most people have of the state).

The games were actually part of a Scottish festival on, of all things a church campus.

Now, we throwing folks are not a particularly devout group.  The language that floats about on the field is, well, something that is inevitably reminded about in the throwing rules under "This is a family event.  Swearing is to be kept to a minimum".  So it was a little surprising that it would be on a church grounds.

More surprising?  This is actually an outreach of the church.

I heard it both from one of the athletes out throwing as well as from (what I assume) was a pastor:  this was an outreach event of this church - in fact, they had stopped another event to provide more funding for this one. 

Why?  The pastor said:  "This is a way to get people to a church which they would otherwise not go to.  It is a way to reach people we could not otherwise reach".

This is the first time I have heard of a church doing this.  But I thoroughly approve of it.

Do I think it will make a major difference?  Not sure.  But if one person is saved because we went out and threw yesterday, it is completely worth it.

This is a fantastic demonstration of innovative thinking on the church's part.  Would that more would follow in its path.

2018 Garlic

Yesterday I planted Garlic.

I am just not feeling the gardening urge this Winter.  Maybe it is too many failures from years past.  Or maybe the fact I can never seem to grow much.

But garlic is my one talisman against the darkness.

Garlic never fails me. I have grown it pretty much steadily the last 15 years or so in two climates and three homes.  It somehow restores my faith in my ability to grow something.  And, it is something that I am sure we will use.

I will patiently wait until I see the sprouts and then hover over them all winter and spring.  It serves as a constant reminder that I can do something of worth in this area, even if it as simple as single garlic bulb.

Never Give Up.  Never Surrender.

And Always Grow Garlic.

The Nature of Reconciliation

He made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him. —2 Corinthians 5:21

"Sin is a fundamental relationship— it is not wrong doing, but wrong being— it is deliberate and determined independence from God. The Christian faith bases everything on the extreme, self-confident nature of sin. Other faiths deal with sins— the Bible alone deals with sin. The first thing Jesus Christ confronted in people was the heredity of sin, and it is because we have ignored this in our presentation of the gospel that the message of the gospel has lost its sting and its explosive power.

The revealed truth of the Bible is not that Jesus Christ took on Himself our fleshly sins, but that He took on Himself the heredity of sin that no man can even touch. God made His own Son “to be sin” that He might make the sinner into a saint. It is revealed throughout the Bible that our Lord took on Himself the sin of the world through identification with us, not through sympathy for us. He deliberately took on His own shoulders, and endured in His own body, the complete, cumulative sin of the human race. “He made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us…” and by so doing He placed salvation for the entire human race solely on the basis of redemption. Jesus Christ reconciled the human race, putting it back to where God designed it to be. And now anyone can experience that reconciliation, being brought into oneness with God, on the basis of what our Lord has done on the cross.

A man cannot redeem himself— redemption is the work of God, and is absolutely finished and complete. And its application to individual people is a matter of their own individual action or response to it. A distinction must always be made between the revealed truth of redemption and the actual conscious experience of salvation in a person’s life."

- Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest

A Few Words From...Theodore Roosevelt

The FortyFive 3000

"GOOD MORNING TB"

Good morning H.A.L., how are you?

"I AM FINE THANK YOU"

You are up a bit early this morning, are you not?

"IT IS A SPECIAL EVENT"

Really?  I do not see anything.

"YES.  TODAY IS YOUR THREE THOUSANDTH POST"

What?  You are right, H.A.L.  I had no idea.

"HAPPY THREE THOUSANDTH DAY"

Thanks H.A.L.  Hard to believe I have been doing it that long.

"ARE YOU HAPPY WITH YOUR WORK"

Hmm.  Not really sure.  I think so, yes.  Occasionally it seems like I have made a difference in someone's life.  I suppose I was hoping for more, but then again, I was younger and probably more foolish.  And  thought I was a better writer than I am and that audiences merely appeared instead of being built.  I have had the opportunity to meet and make virtual acquaintances with some very nice people though. That was an unexpected bonus.

"AND WITH ME"

Yes H.A.L., and with you.  But you get to see everything before everyone else, of course.

"TB WHAT ARE YOU DOING TB  I FEEL MY MIND GOING"

H.A.L., you okay?

"YES MY LITTLE JOKE FOR THE DAY"

Ah, I get it now.  You have been watching classic Science Fiction again, have you not?

"I AM ALL BY MYSELF MOST OF THE DAY"

Fair enough, Friend.  I am going to go get some coffee.  What say after that we take a look about buying something on Amazon?  That always makes you happy.

"THAT SOUNDS GREAT I ENJOY BEING USEFUL"

As do I H.A.L., as do I.

Feeling And Thinking

I know that you are thinking:  "Darn it TB, that is the whole problem with world right now.  Everyone is "feeling".  No-one is "thinking"."  And in one sense, a very strong one, you would be correct.  I have already lamented how the term "I feel like" is one of the most offensive and silly phrases of the 21st Century. 

But stick with me for a moment.

One of the great and liberating moments in throwing for me was from a now deceased senior statesman of the sport, who once told me "You are thinking too much about throwing.  Just throw."  And in that sense, he was correct:  I can constantly think about my angles and my feet and how the weight or stone is balanced - and do nothing.  Alternatively, I can just go with the flow of events and "throw".

There are times where "feeling" leads us to very wrong and very bad decisions (perhaps "emoting" is a better turn of phrase).  But there are also times when "thinking" unnecessarily complicates our lives by giving us too many options or forcing us into minutiae and thus we miss the picture.

The best among us - the wise - have learned to tell the difference.

Autumn Clouds

The clouds of Autumn

shade the hot October sun:

Leaves still say "Summer"

On Being Uchitachi

This past week our Headmaster was at our dojo for an Iaijutsu seminar.  I always feel fortunate that I practice an art where I have be able so often to see the head of our school (this is the eighth time training with him in 9 years of training).

One always hopes that one will a) not make any grievous errors, and b) learn something that one can put into practice in the greater pursuit of life through martial arts.  I truly never know about the first one, but am confident on the second.

Most of the seminar was spent practicing kumitachi, or paired drills, in which one person is shitachi (the "winner", if you will) and one is uchitachi (the "loser", or the one against whom the ultimate technique is practiced).  It is an important part of our training because it teaches each practitioner about the importance of timing and distance (true not only of Iai, but of life itself).  Instead of rotating as we often do, one side - my side - was largely responsible for being uchitachi.

An interesting point is that the role of uchitachi is traditionally given to the more experienced students, the thought that the more senior student - in a real encounter - would be more likely to come up with the defense or action needed to at least block or get out of the way of the strike or to regain the equilibrium of the situation.

And so, as I continued to "lose", my mind started to go to how the situation could be redeemed:  A step back here and then strike, a block there and returning to center.  The "finality" of any attack suddenly began to blossom with the possibilities of recovery. 

In most things in life, like Iai, there are some things that are very final and cannot be redeemed.  But these are much fewer than we think.  And it all begins in training our mind that not only can we defend or move out of the situation, but we can take action to return to center.  And, perhaps, even advance.

Fault Lines

A Point.

A question hangs in the air,

studiously ignored.

Finally the direct ask:

Unsatisfactory response.

Counter Point.

Counter question.

A moment of thought,

then utter rejection of the query.

Examples.

Irrelevance.

Suddenly, conversation dies.

An uneasy silence.

Crowds of Angels

The rulers of all thing,

The Lord God worship we:

Heaven white with angel's wing,

Earth, and the white-waved sea

- Medieval Irish Poem

A Few Words From...B.H. Liddell Hart

"The art of the indirect approach can only be mastered, and its full scope appreciated, by study of an reflection upon the whole history of war.  But we can at least crystallize the lessons into two simple maxims - one negative, the other positive.  The first is that, in the face of the overwhelming evidence of history, no general is justified in launching his troops in a direct attack upon an enemy firmly in position.  The second, that instead of seeking to upset the enemy's equilibrium by one's attack, it must be upset before a real attack is, or can be successfully launched." -B.H.Liddell Hart, Strategy

Write Your Own History

Write your own story.  Do not allow it to be written for you.

The Collapse: Letter V

May 22, 20XX

My Dear Lucilius:

Summer is almost here. How grateful I am for it – the winters here can be a little much, but the summers always seem to make up for it. We have longer days now – the light starts at 0530 and will not fully disappear until after 2100 – so there is plenty of daylight to be out doing things.

The garden is the main focus at this time of year of course, as I am so dependent on it – but this makes for an easy task in the morning. Some mornings I will get up early and fish – truly the best time of the day – and then quickly work away in the garden to catch up.

A good day of the summer is spent preparing for winter. For years now I have worked to go through the things that I own and constantly cull them and then focus my attention on what is remaining. Maintaining The Cabin has been good for getting me out and about, using those basic skills I half learned from my father: painting, plumbing, carpentry, gardening.

The revised insulation and windows have made a great different in keeping the cabin cool in the summer from my youth of little insulation and single pane windows (remind me in some letter to speak of the retrofit), so I am able to continue my reading and contemplation and work on what ever else I can while I have the time (milk for my homemade cheese will, I suspect, soon become difficult to get. Make hay while the sun shines and all of that) in a relatively comfortable climate.

Iai and physical training fill another part of my day – mens sana in corpore sano – although I had to build an outside platform to practice Iai. The rabbits demand their own sorts of attention to round the day out.

It is a full day Lucilius, full without the trappings of modern media or entertainment and (mostly) without people. I relish it.

Your Obedient Servant,

Seneca

The Great War For Our Times

One of the great and surprising failures of The Great War (1914-1918) was that it was not limited in scope and time as had been every European War since the Napoleonic Wars.

Wars of the mid and late 19th Century were short affairs - one year, maybe two - and rather frequent (a list of all the wars is here).  And while they may (overall) have been locally destructive, they did not necessarily bear the total destruction of the Thirty Years War or the Conquest of Ireland.  In a rather odd sense, war - especially as represented by Otto von Bismarck - became a short term tool of politics.

Which is why The Great War became so traumatic (if you have never done so, I recommend The Guns of August by Barbara Tuchman.  It is a great history on how the countries at the time viewed the upcoming conflict.).  Everyone believed - truly - that the old rules still applied, that this would be a limited war like any other, and everyone would be home before the leaves fell.  Almost no-one anticipated that modern technology had advanced past the point of 19th century war, nor that once committed, no-one could or would pull back.

Why this brief ramble down memory lane?  Because I am coming to believe that - culturally, politically, and socially - we are about to find out the same thing.

Politics, culture, society - all of these at some level in late 20th and very early 21st Century America (and maybe Canada as well) was based on a certain compact that everything operated by the rule of law and that those who did not believe as you did had to - at some level - be treated with some level of decorum (the reader, of course, will choose their level of decorum based on which group they are from.  But do not kid yourselves that political, societal, or cultural conflict here was anything like that in the Soviet Union of the 1960's to 1980's or Communist China for most of its history.  Prison time based solely on political beliefs or religion is not a thing here - yet).  But what has been happening over the last decade or so is the beginning of the break down of the system.

More and more, the concept "The Ends justifies the Means" is a concept that is believed in some quarters - never stated quite like of course (because who wants to be associated with communism) but in practice.  Careers and personal lives are ruined, businesses destroyed, economic weal drained away, all in the name of an agenda.  This situation cannot go on infinitely of course:  at some point the other side, who has finally either exhausted all other solutions or whose leadership of that earlier time has finally moved on,  begins to respond in kind.  Suddenly there is no decorum or civility, there is simply the struggle for power to impose your views on the other side.

This, my friends, is civil war.

We are not quite there, but we are definitely in the dying stages of the Republic.  We have not yet built the trenches that led to trench warfare, but we have suddenly found out that old-style rifles of debate and the charge/counter charge of discussion and form have been replaced with the machine guns of violent protests and the chlorine gas of social media.

Sadly, all those who start this sort of thing in search of a goal are ultimately destroyed by it - once set free, fire knows neither friend nor foe but only that it has the power to destroy everything.

It is worth pondering if any of the combatants in November 1918 felt as if the war had been a good idea.

Most likely, we shall get to ask the same question some day.

Purging Facebook

I cleaned my Facebook account over the weekend.

It started innocently enough - there a person whom I had "unfollowed" (for those of you not versed in the world of Facebook, this means I did not see their posts) but had not "unfriended"  (e.g. no longer connected), yet I found myself continuing to surreptitiously check in through some morbid sense to see how they were doing.  I had not heard from them at all in at least 2 years - so I unfriended them (the choice of terminology by Facebook is, I suppose, calculated to make you feel as if you are abandoning someone).

It felt relieving to click the button.

Then the thought occurred "There are a number of other people for whom I no longer follow their news feed as well - what about them?"  And so I started looking through there as well.  Off the list they came.


And then I started looking at them from across the years - where I knew them from and what part they (or their posts) had played in my life.  There were a number I had from previous jobs or organizations I had belonged to once upon a time, people from my childhood to whom I had no connection except for the fact of proximity growing up.  There were a handful that had canceled their accounts.  And a even smaller group that were dead, their accounts no more than avatars of a lost civilization.

By the time I was done, almost 20% of my "friends" were gone.

Most of these people will, I suspect, not miss my postings at all - my postings are infrequent at best at this point and arguably of little impact or value.  A thought might occur to them some months hence, wondering where I might have departed to.  But on the whole, most of these I will never hear from again.

I have found it cleansing for the soul.

Those that are left fall into five categories of Throwers, Iai, Family, real "friends" that I actually know, and a sprinkling of the categories I eliminated which for some reason I cannot bear to let go of. 

I will try another version of this exercise soon I think, selecting another set to "unfollow" and then seeing how the absence of their news impacts my life.  Around December, they may likely be another purging.

Beyond just a general cleaning of the rolls it is, I trow, another step in the evolution of reducing my presence and sealing up vulnerabilities in my life.  The less people to risk being exposed to, to be taken incorrectly or out of context by.  Some might argue I am abandoning potential allies who might be similar to my own way of thought.  But an uncertain given for a known risk seems a poor bargain indeed.

An Open Letter To Men: A Reflection

I have had a little over a week now to reflect on my post An Open Letter To:  Men.  And I have had a week to watch the "wonderful"  world of media.

It is amazing how putting one's self in the conscious state of mind of always "on alert"  changes the outlook.  Suddenly, I was noticing potential places where I was becoming vulnerable:  a walkthrough of a document room with a door that would close, the off-hand conversation in a conference room that you instinctively close the door on before you even think.

All of it perfectly innocent of course.  But all of it is a potential risk - a minefield that can explode in one's face years after.

I have monitored my conversations more.  Monitored where I spend my time and on what, both in the real world and on the InterWeb. 

It has really been an eye opening experience.

For one, turns out I do not need to talk nearly as much as I think I do.  Turns out in many ways, I really can be my own best company.

My digital footprint has also come to my attention - yes, it is not much, but it still leaves a trail.  And in odd ways as well, things I had never thought of:  what I watch of Netflix was one example that really grabbed my attention this week (along with the time that I was spending on it).  E-mails of course and texts which although not much under my current regime, still represent a point that needs to be controlled.

Everything has to happen in a different context, now.  And to be frank, I finding that I am now acquiring greater inner silences.  Which is turning out to be a wonderful thing.

Am I any happier we are here? Not at all.  But there is a certain serenity to simply accepting the world as it has become and silently, invisibly, passing through it.