Trying To Be Something Else

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I find that I lead two - possibly three - very different lives.

The first life is my public persona.  Somewhat due to the nature of what I do for a living - and possibly some natural character traits - I come across as a rather exuberant extrovert.  I am loud.  I am friendly.  My day is generally a series of greetings, jokes, and conversations to move things along.

The second persona is my "off-hours" persona.  This one is not nearly as exuberant and very much an introvert.  Given his choice, he would come home and likely not talk at all, but bury himself in the various projects he has to work on.

The third persona is the one that writes here - neither extroverted nor introverted, but arguably a lot more "himself" than either of the other two.   A certain level of anonymity and generally talking (instead of specifically talking about things) - allows that. 

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It is a fair question to ask why this is.

To be honest, I cannot really tell you.  Things just sort of happened this way.  I grew up one way (introvert), I needed to be something else for work (extrovert), and I needed an outlet for the disconnect, which is apparently what this blog has come to be:  a meeting ground for the two very different sides of my life, where a neutral third party can think about things and ponder on them.

If ever get the three of these gentlemen in a room together, what a conversation that would be.

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Nature is not like this though.  In Nature, everything simply is what it is.

A cat acts like a cat, a rabbit like a rabbit, a tree like a tree, wind like the wind.  They are only, ever, what they actually are.  In that sense there is a sense of peace even though Nature is not peaceful:  Even on a mountain with snow and wind, it simply is what it is.  It does not try to be anything else.

Only people, it seems, have this peculiar trait. And perhaps people are the least peaceful thing about Nature.

I wonder what what life would be if I, too, simply was what I was?

 

A Year Of Haiku (XXXVI): Dinner!

 

Of all the food groups,

the best may be fresh pizza

paired with a cold beer.

2025 Cambodia And Vietnam: A Brief History Of Vietnam (IV) – Modern Vietnam

 French Indochina (A.D. 1887-1954) saw direct French involvement in the governance of Vietnam.

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The region as a whole was ruled by a Governor-General, with various sub-administrations.  The French exercised direct control over Cochinchina, while the Nguyễn Dynasty in theory controlled the Tonkin and Annam regions (but under the "beneficial" eye of the French).  The Imperial capital was in Hue; the French administered from Hanoi and Saigon.

The region was designated a "Colony of Exploitation" with local taxes and monopolies (salt, opium, rice alcohol).  Over time, the colony diversified into different raw materials (tea, rice, coffee, zinc, pepper coal and rubber) and industries.  The rubber industry in particular became important in the 20th Century A.D. with the advent of the motorized car.

Independence movements started as soon as 1885 with the Cần Vương movement (through A.D. 1895).  A series of movements continued after that, fueled partially by World War I and the over 100,000 were conscripted from the overall colony, where they became exposed to Western thought and political discussion.  One of these movements included a man, Nguyễn Ái Quốc, who history later knows as Hồ Chí Minh.

In A.D. 1940, the Vichy Regime granted Imperial Japan's request for access for the region.  From A.D. 1940-1945 Japan access to the region and its raw materials.  In March A.D. 1945 the Japanese overthrew the French colonial administration and created the very short lived Empire of Vietnam (March - August A.D. 1945).  On 02 September A.D. 1945 the last Emperor Bảo Đại abdicated.

Vietnam Post 1954

I feel woefully inadequate to comment on post WW II Vietnam in any detail, partially because events that happened in my lifetime have indirectly impacted me and directly impacted others.  My commentary be purely based on events.

A.D. 1945: French return and take direct control of French Indochina.  Forces of the Viet Minh (Communits organization under Hồ Chí Minh) begin the First Indochina war.

A.D. 1954:  Battle of Dien Bien Phu.  The Democratic Republic Vietnam (Northern Vietnam) and the Republic of Vietnam are established.

A.D. Late 1950's -1975:  Vietnam War.  Southern Capital of Saigon falls on 30 April 1975.

A.D. 1976: Socialist Republic of Vietnam declared.

A.D. 1986:  At the 6th National Congress of the Communist Party, the economic policy of Đổi Mới ("Innovation") is declared.  The intention is to create "a socialist-oriented market economy".  Additionally, the "Old Guard" of Communist Party is replaced by reformers.

A.D. 2025:  TB and The Ravishing Mrs. TB arrive in Vietnam.

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2025 Cambodia And Vietnam: A Brief History Of Vietnam (III) – North And South And Colony

 By the beginning of the 14th Century (as you may recall) the land area we refer to as Vietnam was basically split into a Northern Kingdom (Đại Việt) and the Southern Kingdom (the Champa Kingdom).  The two had been somewhat linked in A.D. 1306 by the marriage of a princess of the Northern Kingdom to a prince of Southern Kingdom:

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Things changed after that milestone.

Between A.D. 1367 and 1390, the Champa Kingdom invaded the Đại Việt and recovered much of their territory, only to be stopped by the death of Champa King in A.D. 1390 in the first battle in Vietnam using gunpowder.  Although the Champa Kingdom continued to expand, mostly West into the Khmer Kingdom, in A.D. 14791 the Cham-Đại Việt war resulted in the effective destruction of the Champa kingdom, their territory reduced to the far Southern provinces. 

(Champa State post A.D. 1471 - Source)

(Historically, the last Champa king was overthrown in A.D. 1832 and the remaining provinces included in the Vietnamese State.)

This southward expansion by the Đại Việt, which extended from the 11th to 18th centuries A.D., was known as  Nam tiến, or "Southward expansion".  It strikes me as interesting - in retrospect - for other historical reasons.

The Northern Kingdom of Đại Việt continued under a series of dynasties:  the Lê Dynasty (1441-1527 A.D.), the Mac Dynasty (1527-1533 A.D.) and the Revival Lê Dynasty (1533-1789 A.D.).  At some point during this period the Emperors of Vietnam lost true ruling power, which was held by the Trịnh Lords in the North and the Nguyễn Lords in the South.  This period was marred by civil war between dynastic elements of the Emperors and the conflict of the effective ruling clans.  The areas that the two clans ruled came to be known by different names:  To the North, The Kingdom of Tonkin or Kingdom of An Nam (Đàng Ngoài); in the South The Kingdom of Cochinchina or Kingdom of Quảng Nam (Đàng Trong).

It was during the 15th Century A.D. that Europeans began to arrive as well: first the Portuguese and Dutch, then the English, then the French (who came to have in the most involvement).

(Vietnam at the end of the 18th Century - Source)

The Tây Sơn Rebellion (1777-1778 resulted in the overthrow of the  Revival Lê Dynsasty and the short term creation of the Tây Sơn Dynasty.  As part of the civil war, the Nguyễn clan ruling members were assassinated - all except one son, Nguyễn Ánh, who escaped to the kingdom of Siam (Modern Thailand) but returned and in 1802 established the Nguyễn Dynasty, which would rule Vietnam until A.D. 1945.  

French missionaries were active in the territory of Vietnam but not necessarily viewed favorably by the Confucian government of Nguyễn Dynasty. In A.D. 1843, French missionaries were detained by the government, and the French navy intervened to free them.  The French government continued slowly move in, until by A.D. 1885 the whole of the country was within the French Protectorate in three parts:  Cochinchina, Annam and Tokin - part of the territory of French Indochina.

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September 2026 Grab Bag

(Author's note:  It seems a little bit like "cheating" to have a grab bag after a mid-month update and being consumed by the 2026 Mt. Whitney hike for two weeks.  A monthly recurring post is a monthly recurring post though....)

The updating problem with Blogger seems to be slowly resolving itself.

If you look over to the right, you can see that more blogs seem to be updating in a more regular fashion.  What is interesting to me is the fact that not all of them are.  I note that several blogs that I know do daily (or near daily) updates continue to lag; not sure if too many posts is part of what is creating the issue.

I will say that one of the unlooked for "benefits" is while my daily post numbers are down, I suspect they are actual readers instead of bots.  

That said, thanks to all who continue to show up here daily and everywhere that bloggers continue to write.  Beyond the algorithm, we are still clicking away at our keyboards.

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Health monitoring-wise, this has been a busy month.

One thing that happened was I had what has becoming my semi-annual Body Composition test.  This is a free service offered through my employer.  The exciting thing - to me as a data nerd - is that we now have enough data points to start to make trends.

The trend?  I am remarkably consistent in the fat/muscle body ratio.

Over the course of 2.5 year and a weight that has fluctuated as much as 13%, my body continues stay at an average of 40.8% muscle and 20.6% fat.  It changes a bit every six months, but it it is remarkable consistent in that range - to the point my Body Comp guy said "You are remarkable consistent, especially for a man of your age.  Keep doing what you are doing."

The other thing that happened was my somewhat delayed lipid panel, which then prompted me to make my annual physical appointment.

The good news?  I am in good shape overall. Every other lab come back pretty much precisely in the middle of the range.  Cholesterol came down a bit, but not enough - I am running (currently) a 9.5% chance of heart attack or stroke in the next 10 years.  

That should not surprise me - the men in my family die from strokes or heart attacks.  So medication it is, at least for now.

Other health updates are a steroid shot for my knee (for some early arthritis) and the start of shingles vaccine regimen, which I have been warned by coworkers is a bit rough.

Still, for a guy rolling out of his late 50's no matter how you look at it, things seem to be holding together.  And I have to remind myself that for even the issues I am dealing with, getting old is a privilege many do not get.

A final note:  Yesterday I hit my goal of losing 20 lbs.  A personal goal started in June of this year, but it feels good none the less.

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We seem to have reached the point of my biennial/triennial religious peregrinations.

Longer time readers will recall that this is something that seems to happen periodically: I get to questioning my current church location and involvement.  I am not fully certain why it keeps happening, but it does - whether from me not being satisfied when I should be or me not having yet found the place my soul feels it "belongs" (within the larger Christian faith, of course).

If I try to pinpoint it (in short; likely I will write more on this) I am feeling the disconnect between my professed belief and the supernatural realities that we live in. This is something Francis Schaeffer touches on frequently in the books of his that I have read this year, the idea of saying we are Christian but acting as if the spiritual realm does not really exist as well.

As usual, I am not sure where this goes.  If you are of the mind, prayers are appreciated.

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Next month, the Community Garden has its "Winterization" project, indicating the end of the Community portion of the year (including the earning of one's 8 hours of community service, the requirement for renewing).

My beans (dry and soy) are largely done at this point.  The corn did okay, but I had a setback in that I had a "visitor" that helped themselves to a few cobs.  I have enough to do a re-seeding next year; I will need to figure out a better system.  

The tomatoes, as you can see, continue to bear.

I have some leeks that have made it this far as well.

Planted yesterday:  Two kinds of barley, Emmer wheat, two kinds of garlic, and golden beets.

A Year Of Kindness (XXXVI): Lending Our Strength

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You may remember that earlier in this series, we discussed the matter of kindness as loaning our strength to another.  Today's quote focuses on the same idea but from a different angle: not making the people to whom we are lending our strength through kindness feel the worse for needing it.

This concept should not really be difficult for me to consider.  If I think about all the times growing up I "helped" an adult with a project or "bought" a gift for my family, it is clear that it was not "me" doing it, it was the adult in the situation.  Yet never once in all my days can I think someone told me "You are not really doing that" or "You are not really buying that".

An element of kindness - perhaps more implicit than I think - is how we make the other person feel when they are receiving it.

We are all familiar with the bad sort of kindness, I should imagine:  the condescension that comes when someone makes a production out of doing a kind deed and the almost inevitable feeling of being the object of that condescension.  We feel small, worthless, perhaps even ashamed for the need.  

Kindness - at least as I see it - is a dance between doing the kind deed and never having the other person feel as if the deed (or thought or word or whatever) is any sort of an inconvenience or a big ask.  I place great value in the fact that we should always allow people their dignity - their honour - no matter what the situation.

Sometimes we find out it is a big ask after the fact of course:  the hours our parents worked so that we could do a thing, the sacrifice of someone offering to do something for us that they sincerely dislike, the person who did not have the time to attend to our issue but did anyway.

In a sense, is this not like Christ?

Yes, I know - there is a great division between us and the Godhead.  But in reading the Gospels, one constantly finds Christ offering kindnesses - healing, food, counsel, personnel management for his rather cranky group of disciples - and yet He never rejects those who sincerely came asking, or those to whom He freely offered His kindness.  We read occasionally of His struggles and His agony, but at the time this was often concealed from the disciples:  the 40 Days of Temptation, the hours spent praying at night alone, His exhaustion from the crowds.  Only at the end of His Life - at the Last Supper, at the Garden of Gethsemane - does He seem to hint to them in real time of what this has - and will - cost Him.

We, as Christians, should not do any less.

Let us offer kindness, but do it in such a way that its receivers feel anything but part of the process and never feel shame for asking for it or receiving it.

The Winds Of September

 Autumn arrived fully this week, almost on cue with the Autumnal Equinox.

The trees that lined the avenue I drive to for work went yellow almost over night and suddenly a blanket of yellow leaves just seemed appear on the sidewalk and grass surrounding them.  Yesterday a landscape crew was diligently working to remove them, the first of what likely be several trips there until bare branches clutch at the grey sky.

Our last day about 80 F/26 C happened on this past Monday, leaving descending days of in the 70's and 60's predicted for the next 10 days - which will firmly put us into October.  And yesterday evening the rain blew in and then blew in again this morning, driven by the Winds of September, leaving the sort of day that makes one simply want to stay indoors with a book and an orange cat and grey rabbit and a cup of coffee and read.

There is a certain sad elegance to it all, the closing down of Nature's stall for the Winter.

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The greyness of the sky with the brighter points of leaves reaching their final glory matches the sense of my soul.

This week was a series of conversations - deep conversations that I did not anticipate having with a wide range of people over some rather weighty subjects:  religion, core values, commitment, senses of responsibility to myself and others, the possibility of retirement.  All thoughtful conversations, all conversations that needed to happen at some level.

I had asked God this week for guidance.  What I received was less of the guidance of sunlight Summer Day with a clear and dry path and more of an Autumnal walk, the path present but obscured by falling leaves amid the puddles and and fallen branches, whipped along by a wind that comes from and goes to a place I do not know.

It is not, I suspect, that the guidance is not there.  It are somehow wrapped up in this season of preparation and readiness and the slow shedding of glories.

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Autumn, of course, brings its own joys:  leaves that burn with colour in the sun before their final bow, rains that fly and swirl and recharge the ground, squirrels working hard on their last preparations, a few remaining brilliant sunsets before grey becomes The Colour Of The Day.  It allows - at least for me - a certain focus as well:  the garden will essentially be done, sword training will likely be all indoors.  The earlier dark and cold makes for a convenient excuse to finish the reading and writing that I have chosen as part of the educational life.

And like the shutting down of trees, I now have the strands of conversation and thought to bear with me into the coming Winter, to be mulled upon and sit in silence with like trees under the battering rain and blowing wind.

 And then, like the flowers and leaves, to burst into life and colourful glory in the Spring.