I have not officially been "back to church" since March 2020. Our church "shut down" due to The Plague, as many others did, and put themselves on line - again, as many others did. I have to confess that that I have had little to no urge to "go back" once they reopened. We have watched on the InterWeb of course, but it does not seem to be the same.
I also have to confess this bothers me less than I had anticipated.
In some ways, this strikes me as odd. I like many of the people there. Last weekend I helped a bit at their Fall Festival and it was genuinely good to see them. And of course, it was nice to be of service.
On the other hand, as I have alluded to in the past, I have issues as well. The worship music has become a bland continuation of more or less the same song, time after time, with just as much emphasis on what we are doing for God as what He has done for us. And strangely enough, singers that are emotionally in the throes of worship, eyes closed and fists clenched as their voices try to break through to Heaven, do not move me the way they seem to move others.
And, of course, the messages.
One does not necessarily remember what mediocre preaching is unless one subjects one's self from time to time to the greats. I am re-reading a mid twentieth Century Apologist, Cornelius Van Til, in his book The Defense of The Faith. His distinct defense of the Reformed Faith position has more clear biblical teaching than I have heard in the last year.
The Ravishing Mrs. TB has asked me about what we are going to do - do we go back or look for another church? On the one hand, she likes the people well enough and in terms of timing, it is likely a year and a half or two years before we will move. On the other hand, we - the both of us - seem strangely unmotivated to go back.
That, I think, should be telling me something.