Have you ever read anything by Joseph Campbell? I just came across a quote of his today that seems to contradict the one you shared: "We must let go of the life we have planned, so to accept the one that is waiting for us."
Check out his Wiki page. I might have to read something by him.
If it is the Joseph Campbell I am thinking of (and I think it is), I am a little familiar with his work on myth.
In one way I agree with him. I have had at least one acquaintance who had her life very planned out: when she would marry, when she would have children, what she would do, etc. None of that worked out, and the failure almost crushed her. Fortunately she accepted the life that was there and in the end received the things she had "planned" out, just not in the timeframe she had imagined.
At the same time, I have run into people who are just drifting where life is going. In some cases no plan equals just idrifting and squandering one's potential; In other cases people will wither and die in situations that, with some effort and dedication, they could escape.
It comes down to choice, does it not? I have to evaluate and make choices based on what I would like to accomplish - for example, there came a point where I decided to deprioritized Highland Games so I could focus on Iaijutsu. In that case, nothing was wrong with either option - but I felt I could not do both and get equally better at both and in the long run, Iai offered me more opportunities.
Too, I think we often settle for things instead of making the effort to try something to make our life different or better because we are either told or feel that wanting such things is "selfish" or "wrong". It certainly can be of course, but it is not the same as saying that all such things are wrong.
If you want a spouse then you have to balance your wants with their wants. Employers wants with your wants. Friends wants with your wants. Hermit would be the way to go with that statement.
I think yes and no GlassLass. You excellently make the point that one has to balance ones wants with the wants of others in one's life At the same time, I can think of several situations in my own circle of acquaintances where things like drug addiction, significant eating disorders existed or simply there was something significant they wanted to do with their life. In each case they had to decide what they wanted their life to be, and then start eliminating everything that was not it, be it the drugs or the food or the friends that enabled it or the relationships the fostered it - or on the more positive side, eliminating time spent worthlessly for time spent in a worthwhile manner. I do not know that relationships and the life one wants are mutually exclusive.
The other, equally bad situation is where one simply does not make decisions about one's life and one's time and direction is constantly being borrowed by others for their own purposes - often completely innocently, but in a way that prevents one from achieving what one wants to do. More than one person has said that if we do have goals, people will give us their own.
Thank you John! Honestly, how conscious am I of that on a daily basis? Even within the confines of the life I have chosen, there are still ways to make it "more" like what I want. I just have to do it.
I like this, TB. I also like Kelly's mention of a Campbell quote. I think they can both be useful to apply. Many years ago, I heard something similar the quote you posted. It was worded something like this... "Highly successful people FIRST decide what they will not spend their time on". Life changing when I put it in practice - not perfectly, of course, but it often simplified decision making about the myriad things we had to chose from when the kids were younger. FOMO tended to drive my decisions before I (more or less) embraced this one that added some balance.
Becki - I think virtually every success book I have read has version both of the quote I had and the quote you posted. They show up everywhere because they are so fundamental to life change.
Simplifying decision making - that is what I understand as well, and certainly is truly when I practice it. Again keying on the Highland Games, I have the opportunity to do one at the end of the month - or help clean the rabbit shelter I volunteer at for one of their big cleanings. I know which one I value the more, and so I will be scrubbing cages instead of throwing things.
Comments are welcome (and necessary, for good conversation). If you could take the time to be kind and not practice profanity, it would be appreciated. Thanks for posting!
Have you ever read anything by Joseph Campbell? I just came across a quote of his today that seems to contradict the one you shared: "We must let go of the life we have planned, so to accept the one that is waiting for us."
ReplyDeleteCheck out his Wiki page. I might have to read something by him.
If it is the Joseph Campbell I am thinking of (and I think it is), I am a little familiar with his work on myth.
DeleteIn one way I agree with him. I have had at least one acquaintance who had her life very planned out: when she would marry, when she would have children, what she would do, etc. None of that worked out, and the failure almost crushed her. Fortunately she accepted the life that was there and in the end received the things she had "planned" out, just not in the timeframe she had imagined.
At the same time, I have run into people who are just drifting where life is going. In some cases no plan equals just idrifting and squandering one's potential; In other cases people will wither and die in situations that, with some effort and dedication, they could escape.
It comes down to choice, does it not? I have to evaluate and make choices based on what I would like to accomplish - for example, there came a point where I decided to deprioritized Highland Games so I could focus on Iaijutsu. In that case, nothing was wrong with either option - but I felt I could not do both and get equally better at both and in the long run, Iai offered me more opportunities.
Too, I think we often settle for things instead of making the effort to try something to make our life different or better because we are either told or feel that wanting such things is "selfish" or "wrong". It certainly can be of course, but it is not the same as saying that all such things are wrong.
If you want a spouse then you have to balance your wants with their wants. Employers wants with your wants. Friends wants with your wants. Hermit would be the way to go with that statement.
ReplyDeleteI think yes and no GlassLass. You excellently make the point that one has to balance ones wants with the wants of others in one's life At the same time, I can think of several situations in my own circle of acquaintances where things like drug addiction, significant eating disorders existed or simply there was something significant they wanted to do with their life. In each case they had to decide what they wanted their life to be, and then start eliminating everything that was not it, be it the drugs or the food or the friends that enabled it or the relationships the fostered it - or on the more positive side, eliminating time spent worthlessly for time spent in a worthwhile manner. I do not know that relationships and the life one wants are mutually exclusive.
DeleteThe other, equally bad situation is where one simply does not make decisions about one's life and one's time and direction is constantly being borrowed by others for their own purposes - often completely innocently, but in a way that prevents one from achieving what one wants to do. More than one person has said that if we do have goals, people will give us their own.
Remember what you want to remove! Great advice!
ReplyDeleteThank you John! Honestly, how conscious am I of that on a daily basis? Even within the confines of the life I have chosen, there are still ways to make it "more" like what I want. I just have to do it.
DeleteI like this, TB. I also like Kelly's mention of a Campbell quote. I think they can both be useful to apply. Many years ago, I heard something similar the quote you posted. It was worded something like this... "Highly successful people FIRST decide what they will not spend their time on". Life changing when I put it in practice - not perfectly, of course, but it often simplified decision making about the myriad things we had to chose from when the kids were younger. FOMO tended to drive my decisions before I (more or less) embraced this one that added some balance.
ReplyDeleteBecki - I think virtually every success book I have read has version both of the quote I had and the quote you posted. They show up everywhere because they are so fundamental to life change.
DeleteSimplifying decision making - that is what I understand as well, and certainly is truly when I practice it. Again keying on the Highland Games, I have the opportunity to do one at the end of the month - or help clean the rabbit shelter I volunteer at for one of their big cleanings. I know which one I value the more, and so I will be scrubbing cages instead of throwing things.