One of the great differences I have noticed between when I am at The Ranch and when I am not is simply a sense of purpose.
It is not as if I am really doing anything different in the two places: I get up, I have my morning routine, I work, I take care of a few things, I work out and practice Iai. True, at New Home I have some additional efforts - all of the animals being those which are less of a chore and more of an interaction. There are maintenance tasks in both places, so there is no difference there.
And yet in one place I feel far more "purposeful" than in the other.
Commenter KA noted that "it (the land) is flourishing under your stewardship". It was a kind comment but not precisely accurate - currently I do (and am able to do) very little; the 40 plus years my father poured into this place, backed up by the 30 years that my great aunt and uncle poured into this place before him, and buttressed now by the efforts of The Cowboy and The Young Cowboy, are really what are seen in this pictures. All I and my sister have really contributed for now is to continue to make that possible.
But even in that making possible, there is a sense of purpose.
It seems to me - as I sit here and type on a Saturday morning still at The Ranch before I depart, the sunlight slowly creeping down the tree line in the back as it rises and the only sound the clocks ticking on the wall - that this is something our Western Society has lost. We do not always accept that our life needs a purpose simply beyond living day to day. We need - I would argue we crave - the sense that in some way, we are contributing to something larger than ourselves.
Note that I used the term "larger", not "greater". Greater is to my way of thinking a false idol, something that is dictated by others as to what that constitutes. In many ways, "greater" can become whatever society currently dictates it should be. Larger is something entirely different indeed.
The head of my sword school is contributing to something larger by having dedicated his life to the transmission of a sword art over 400 years old. My sensei in turn does the same. I have known people that seek to inculcate the history of a religious practice (Uisdean Ruadh) or save animals (my friends at the rabbit shelter) or even work to save people from addictions or land from being overrun by building or saving the practice of manual arts. Some of those people you can meet over to the right on the blogroll, doing seemingly small but really important things. These are all larger purposes, if not necessarily "greater" ones.
As I pondered this, I was reminded of a video I posted a while ago. It is a Taiwanese bank ad based on a true story about 5 friends who, at the age of around 80, decide to do one last grand trip in their life after the death of their friend. It starts out with asking the question "What do people live for?"
One of the most telling and terrifying questions that any person can ask themselves is "What do I live for?" If we are truly honest with ourselves on the answer, I suspect everything else will fall into place.
Maybe your sense of purpose is simply enjoying the the quiet in God’s world, TB?
ReplyDeleteYou all be safe and God bless.
Maybe Linda. Although I sometimes feel that God gave me all these interests for a purpose...
DeleteWhat Ed said, down below. God gave you the interests to protect and help your family in the "to come".
Delete*hugs* and God bless you all and your readers, TB.
Thanks Linda. I think you may be on to something.
DeleteStewardship as done by your family over several generations, not as many as 400 years but still larger to my way of thinking. But at this time of the morning that thinking is a bit sleep clogged.
ReplyDeleteI think you are right Nylon12 - or at least how stewardship was traditionally practiced. It is an interesting sub-thought that I believe the modern societal perception is that only government and non-profit entities can be "stewards" of land; private individuals somehow will not be educated enough or simply are just greedy to exploit (oddly enough, not true by almost every family or individual I have known with such land).
DeleteThe pastures have been there so long, I wonder if at some point they were just natural and that was the attraction of the property.
Something I cottoned onto a while back is this: You CANNOT get anywhere if you don't know where you are. If I think I'm in Maine, going to Texas is south by south west, about 2000 miles. If I'm really in Texas, I'll wind up in the Pacific Ocean, wet and confused.
ReplyDeleteAs you say, if you are honest, things fall into place. I remember a story about a dad that would cut up color pictures from the Sunday newspaper for his son to put together like a puzzle. He found a big color picture of the Earth, and cut it all apart. His son zipped it out quickly, and his dad asked him how he managed that so fast.... "Easy", said the son. "There was a picture of a man on the back, Once I got the man put together correctly and world took care of itself."
Al the issues that we see now are because mankind is not right. Your time in Olde Home and my time alone to make sense of my history and current medical issues have given us space to sort out the seed from the chafe. According to Scripture, our works will be tested by fire, only the real will remain.
https://youtu.be/YZRLg_Ue89k
STxAR, you are quite right - we need some kind of idea where we are going, or else we will never get there.
DeleteMe being honest with myself can be a challenge sometimes - not so much that I cannot be honest, but that I am not always willing to follow the answers where they lead.
I have read that story about the newspaper as well. If The Man is assembled correctly, all the rest quite does fall into place.
A dilemma that I have pondered since high school is that I can find a worthy cause, suitable for dedicating ones life to, every day. How am I to choose that cause which is mine? I suppose that's why I'm compelled to be an eternal amateur, because every such choice means leaving so many others behind. I believe the martial arts authorities say that it takes 10,000 reps of a motion to ingrain it in muscle memory. Can I do 10,000 reps of anything?
ReplyDeleteThat said, I have often felt a craving to put down roots in a physical place. We spent our working careers renovating a century house, pouring heart and soul into it, until we came to retirement, sold it, and moved to a new place. Your "old home" or The Ranch as you call it, is certainly worthy of such roots. While our time in this life is limited, you can put your time into loving care for the property. I hope that you pour endless thanks and appreciation for your caretakers. From your comments they seem to be wonderful friends.
Another point of aesthetics about the natural environment you have there. I recall many years ago visiting the Butchart Gardens in Canada. They are gorgeous, but gave me a creepy feeling realizing the absurd and incredible amount of labor required to maintain them. I contrast that with nature's own work of your pine forests and meadows. Yes, there is no end to the labor you could put into the property, but allowing the natural succession order to occur has its own aesthetic to appreciate. An example is all the storm caused deadfall. Harvest what you need for firewood, move that which is in your way, and let the rest recycle into the forest floor. I think one of the greatest honors you can bestow is to simply observe and appreciate the boundless natural order you see there. Thank you for a thought provoking post as always.
Greg, I have met people that now their purpose. They have known it since they were young - my mother and sister, for example, knew they wanted to be teachers. They had always known that is what they would do.
DeleteMe? I have fumbled through all my life trying to find, as you say "worthy cause". I thought I had some - I was wrong.
Not everyone is rooted. Frankly, the concept of someone that is a "digital nomad" is so foreign to me. I like a sense of place, a sense of belonging. The Ranch gives me that in a way that no other place does (and we are grateful for the caretakers. They give so selflessly).
I think perhaps the difference between Japanese gardens and formal gardens such as you describe is indeed the fact that one appears natural, the other is intensely managed. Most of the management that has been done there is largely to prevent fire, frankly.
As always, thank you for the kind comments. And yes, somewhat surprisingly you can do 10,000 of something. It just takes a little longer than one might think.
I suppose I'm like tens of millions, perhaps billons, of others in that what I live for has changed over the years. For a time it was about learning and earning a living before that changed to exploring life and the world around me. Now, I live mostly for my children and what few relatives I still have alive, hoping to give them a better life or better remaining years respectively. I am content with where my life is at this point and can envision the end and not be scared. I am not yet content with the path my kids are traveling and hope to have yet more time to ensure that it continues in a fulfilling direction for them as well.
ReplyDeleteEd, fair point that purposes can change over the years. I am within the grasp I think of that final turning - in our case, we are within land's end of the children having their paths before them, whether we are ready for it or not.
DeleteTB, there are uncharted worlds past when the children leave. The orbits may be long or short. The daughter that couldn't wait to leave, bought the house next door when her children were very small. When one chapter ends another begins....
DeleteDid you watch the yt vid?
STxAR, I have reconciled myself to the fact that it is more than likely my children will live away. I am accepting this fact early so I it will be less of a shock later.
DeleteI did watch the video. Sobering indeed.
I found this post very interesting (as are many of your posts TB!) I suspect your ties are stronger to The Ranch, because you have roots there. By not up and selling it for profit points to a sense of stewardship on some level, and that's important.
ReplyDeleteMy own theory (which I know I've stated before) is that we were created as part of an ecosystem. We were never meant to be simply onlookers, bystanders, or users. We are meant to have a personal, interactive relationship with the land and everything it produces ("Adam, tend the garden.") I find there is a profound sense of purpose in trying to build that relationship. But I also find that this doesn't seem to be related to what most people think of as purpose. I suppose because it's foreign to modern industrialized society, which is the worldview into which we were all born, indoctrinated, and consider to be "normal."
"Why am I here?" is one of the fundamental questions of human existence. Philosophers have written about it for millennia. Apparently, it remains unanswered because people continue to search for their sense of purpose, usually in possessing and doing. Maybe the answer lies in being. Who knows?
Thanks as always for your kind remarks and thoughtful response Leigh!
DeleteIt is an interesting question, now that you make me consider it more. I do think I am rooted there more than anywhere else - why, I do not necessarily know. I spent less time there (much less) than in my house growing up 15 miles away, yet I would never think of moving back there the way I think about The Ranch. I suppose to some extent it is the memories of going up there and the experiences with family (both my parents as well as well as the generation before them) that makes it "home".
We are terribly disconnected - not only from the land, but from place. And often it seems over time, we are encouraged to be less and less connected to a particular place and more and more connected to a vague generality. We have moved from home to family to local to small regional state to large regional state to effectively large nation-states and are now on the verge of global states. At each step, connection to the local, including the actual physical place, is lessened.
I finally got my books from the Stoic Philosopher Epictetus from almost 2000 years ago and yes, he asks the same questions. I do wonder that some of the reason we have not identified it more is related to the fact that we prefer to not spend time thinking about it. It is hard. It is sometimes an answer without a question. And sometimes when we get an answer, it is not what we expected - or wanted.