My Continuing Job Transition Saga:
A Sort of Hammerfall
A Sort of Hammerfall I
A Sort of Hammerfall II
A Sort of Hammerfall III
A Sort of Hammerfall IV
A Sort of Hammerfall V
A Sort of Hammerfall VI
Week 1 has completed with the arrival of my replacement. I wish that I had a clearer sense of where this is heading next, but I simply do not.
First weeks are always hard of course - numerous meetings and introductions that have to be done, slowly coming up to speed, so I have not given too much concern over the fact I do not have clarity. I have continued to attend meetings with my successor now, bring him up to speed on issues as needed, and generally trying to steer the ship forward while he is moving in.
That said, it is odd how quickly I feel myself disengaging from all of it.
Meetings that I have gone to are starting to fall off of my calendars. Slowly - ever so slowly - I am being removed from e-mail conversations and new issues. I am feeling less and less connected to my department already.
To be fair, I am actively trying to work on this too. They need to look towards the new leadership, not me - so in some cases I am having to make a version of the statement "That is not really my call any more. You really need to ask...". I am also actively choosing (where I can) my own end date for attendance at meetings - in some cases simply forcing the issue.
We have another meeting today (Monday), so I anticipate that I will have a greater sense of what will continue to be expected of me over the coming weeks (I am hoping it is weeks).
On a personal side, it feels odd. I have now existed in this twilight zone of neither truly being in charge (but being responsible) but not having a future here for almost three months. I find myself paralyzed by the inability to start new things but not being able to move away from old things. I will also say that sitting in meetings where my replacement is introduced and the response is "That is wonderful" or "How exciting" leaves somewhat of a bad taste in one's mouth.
And I sit, and nod, and patiently wait for the whole thing to be over so I can begin living again.
GAH.
ReplyDeleteThere never seems to be any clarity or security unless you work for gubbimint... and those are the guys that need a good house cleaning. Hope things settle down for you soon TB...
I am not sure Glen - I think even in careers that used to be considered safe, there is greater risk for change now.
DeleteI think things will settle down - just not as quickly as I am hoping for.
My current position in life is much like that. Decisions are being made, I'm responsible but not involved. I can truly feel where you are. And you are in my prayers.
ReplyDeleteMaybe, like me, you are finding that true sense of worth differently. Doing your best to get the new guy up to speed proves your honor and character to any sharp enough to see it. And character is what counts. I tell myself that life is 10% what I get handed and 90% what I do with it. And I have a fear of not being the good example I need to be for my kids and grandkids.
I don't want to be an Abraham, run into Egypt because it got tough, and then leave the world with the generations of fallout from Ishmael...
Thank you STxAR. I am sure that everything will be fine. It is just thinking this is going to take a little longer than I thought, which is not the end of the world.
DeleteThis is a good experience to document, especially since you seem to be able to look at the whole thing (including yourself) somewhat as an objective outside observer. Do you think the whole work-from-home thing of recent weeks helped you emotionally distance yourself from the event?
ReplyDeleteWow Leigh, that is a great question!
DeleteI had not thought of it before, but you certainly raise a good question. I think it actually has, after I give it some thought (although in the scope of God's economy, I hardly think this whole thing was designed for my particular sake...). Certainly even the act of being on the phone when dealing with my previous responsibilities in the context of my replacement has become somewhat psychically painful, at least. I can only imagine what another three months of daily seeing people yet having less real and real authority - being the "figurehead" of office stories - would be.