I am not the sort of fellow that pays a great deal to physical reactions. They come, they go, I really do not pay attention. But something happened today which gave me pause.
I was heading in to work (because apparently that is what responsible people do on public holidays). I had a few tasks I had to attend to and oddly enough, the most productive days of work are when no one else is actually at work (makes those pesky e-mails and interruptions disappear!).
As I turned onto the road leading into work, I could feel my stress levels rise. Visibly. My heart started pounding and my anxiety levels (or whatever the hormones are that cause those) started going up. It was miserable.
And then it hit me - this is what it feels like, every day now, driving to work. Miserable. Stressful. Always feeling, for some reason, that I am just on the edge of a major collapse, of being yelled at, of realizing a failure that has come to pass.
It is a pretty lousy way to live, in case you were wondering.
Not really sure what to do with this. Other than to note that it is actually happening. That means something.
TB - you make sure you pull the rip cord if you need to.
ReplyDeleteThank you Glen! I got the same advice from my father as well. I am definitely much more aware than I was before and will pay closer attention.
ReplyDeleteIt is good that you are paying attention to yourself. It will be significant in helping you make the choices which will be coming up for you sometime soon.
ReplyDeleteThank you Vera. Oddly enough, I tend to pay attention to my physical manifestations least of all. Yet they are strangely prescient a great deal.
ReplyDeleteI am hopeful great changes are coming. The status quo seems to be going nowhere.
this may seem uncomplimentary
ReplyDeletewe are told that the capable are promoted until they reach the lowest level of incapability
maybe you have reached that and need to ask for a demotion
or you have just reached the area in which you are a square peg in a round hole and need to take a step sideways
whatever it is, it is obvious that you need a change look around and see where in the industry or company you might prefer to be