Training 2024: Yasukuni Shrine

 Yasukuni Jinja ("Peaceful Country Shrine", located in Tokyo) is a Shinto Shrine created by the Meiji Emperor in 1869 to commemorate the spirits of those who died for the restoration of the Imperial Monarchy.  Since that time, it was expanded to include all who died in the service of Japan, which includes the Boshin War (1868-1869), the Sino-Japanese Wars (both 1894-1895 and 1947-1945), and the first Indochina War (1946-1954).  Over those years, it has been expanded to include all conflicts during the Meiji, Taisho, and early Showa reign (1868 to 1945), Koreans and Taiwanese killed in the service of Japan, and all those killed by World War II, regardless of nationality.  This includes Class A war criminals, which has lead to no Japanese Emperor attending the shrine since the 1970's.  

(Note:  Sakamoto Ryoma, a personal hero of the Bakamatsu period, is enshrined there.)

The first torii, the traditional Japanese gateway indicating the entrance into a holy precinct:

Statue of Omura Masujiro, founder of the Imperial Japanese Army (died 1869 by assassination):

A view towards another torii and the Outer Shrine:

Stone lantern:

The Outer Shrine, where anyone can visit.  Beyond this is the Inner Shrine and the area housing the kami (we went into it in 2020 as part of our demonstration):

Buttressed tree:

Area of the Outer Shrine:

As part of a display, each province of Japan contributed an artistic cherry blossom (sakura), which was to somehow represent that province:

Statue of War Widow with Children:  Donated in 1974, it was set in place to honor widows who raised their children after the War.

Training 2024: Vending Machines

 One of the great joys of going to train in Japan is the vending machines (yes, I know that I am shallow that way).

Japanese vending machines are a wonder.  Above and below, please find examples of the vending machines at the training facilities.  These magical devices dispense drinks - both hot and cold from the same machine (denoted in the "red" or "blue" color scheme below, which somehow the US has failed to figure out yet).  For the cost of something like $1.00 to $1.50 (120 to 180 Yen), one has a plethora of options.

My go to favorite.  Kind of a combination between a citrus drink and an energy drink:

How we get coffee in the morning.  A little surprisingly, most of this (which does come hot) is with sugar and/or milk.

A different kind of coffee (you have to try everything):

A lemon style vitamin C water.  This was surprisingly good:

This also a energy drink, which may be my new favorite.  Note it is from Asahi, a Japanese beer company:

Another sports style drink.  This one had the weak taste of raspberry.  Not recommended:

And it is not just drinks!  Once upon a time there was an alcohol machine with beer and whiskey (sadly, now gone) - but the ice cream machine is still there:

A very passible vanilla waffle flavor:

The Age Of Indifference

 In what has become a running tradition, I attended Ash Wednesday (equally known this year as "Valentine's Day With A Twist" with Uisdean Ruadh -  I had asked him if I, not being Catholic, could get "marked".  His response was simply "Unlike Communion, Ash Wednesday is a come-one come-all event".  Relieved of not re-fighting The 30 Years War, I duly walked up and received my cross of ashes.

During the course of the homily, which was (I suspect) a typical sort of presentation - what is Lent, why do we give things up, looking towards Easter, etc. - the priest made a comment that   "The last stage of hate is indifference."

As I thought through it over the course of the next couple days, the truth of the statement struck me deeply.

We tend to think of indifference at that point as not hatred but simply a sort of normal outgrowth of the process.  First we are bothered, then perhaps angered, then hateful.  After hate?  I never really thought of that before.

Using the word "hate" itself is a bit jarring, and perhaps something that (as I a Christian) I should not be approaching as familiarly as I do.  But replace hate with "anger" or "offended" or "turned off" and it is simply a different word to address the underlying feeling.

As I continued to think on it, I realized how dangerous such an outcome was - not to those that have reached that point, but those who have created the situation.

"Not caring" could be used as a synonym in this case.  When I become indifferent to something - an intellectual property, a business, a philosophy, a company, a state - I do not just no longer have strong feelings against the thing.  I no longer have any feelings about the thing at all.  Its success - or its failure - is no longer something which I pay attention to or care about the outcome.

The thought was remarkable because it explained how in the last three or four years I had changed in my opinions of so many things.  It was not that I had somehow forgotten about them, I had simply reached my limit of bother/anger/frustration and simply stopped caring about it.

The danger, of course, is to those who continue support the thing in question.

In the back of their mind, there always remains the thought "Well, when push comes to shove, we can count on folks to rally around the intellectual property/business/philosophy/company/state because at their core, they will remember the value of the thing. They always come back." And then they will stand in shock when those people do not come to support the thing in question, and it simply fails.

The supporters of the thing will, of course, rail against those that let it fail. "Uncaring, selfish" will be the call.  But their words will have no impact; the indifferent will simply have moved on to things that they actually care about and are engaged with.

The great danger in indifference, of course, is that it is usually only realized long after any remediation could take effect, leaving the true believers in shock as the things slowly slips beneath the water towards the bottom of history.

The Mediaeval Saint

 It is always hard to see the world through one' own lens and position in it, but it strikes me that we currently have a dearth of medieval style saints.

Yes, I know:  an odd thing to say from a Protestant who holds they typically Protestant view on such individuals (as opposed, say, to the Catholic and Orthodox creeds).  But there is nothing wrong in my world view to holding to their example and life, which is almost universally accepted no matter what your religious background.

Oh, we have plenty of self proclaimed saints (and prophets, which is pushing the envelope even more and which I definitely have thoughts about).  But most of the medieval saints, if you read of their lives via history or hagiography, were none of the things that these self proclaimed vessels of God are:  Loud, exuberant, self-advertising, and too often greedy for the world's gain.

I wonder:  if Benedict of Nursia appeared in today's world, would we even recognize him?  Or Guthlac of Crowland?  Or any of the other saints that have filled the world (even up to this day; yes, I know they are out there)?

Likely not, even as likely they live among us now.  Running through all the saints is a humility and quiet service that today's self proclaimed saints cannot understand or comprehend.

Hammerfall 3.0: Week 9 Report

Period: 10 February 2024 to 16 February 2024

Positions applied to:  I applied to 13 positions during this period. Total jobs applied to/opportunities investigated are 85 unique positions.

Rejections:  I was rejected for 3 positions (22 rejections total).

Conversations: 

I had one recruiter contact (who never managed to call me back).

I also had a follow-on interview for the latter of my two panel interviews last week which was with the head of the Quality Unit for the location.  It was a really good call (just in general, not just for the position).  I found out two things:  the first was that the hiring manager had recommended that he talk to me, and that (per him) I should be hearing something early next week, something essentially confirmed by the in-house recruiter.

Job losses:  Less layoffs, but some interesting notes:

LianBio (China) laid off 50 people.

Aurinia laid off 25% of its employees (no numbers).

Bayer announced they were seeking volunteers at their St. Louis plant for severance. It is reasonably sure that if volunteers do not appear, there will simply be layoffs.

Catalent announced that - last year - they had laid off 300 people.  This only came out because of the annual report.  This is interesting because they are currently in the process of being acquired, and these layoffs were not publicly announced before now.

Mood:

This week is the two month anniversary of my layoff. If I am completely honest, I find myself in a little bit of a slump prior to the latter part of this week.  It is not surprising to me that it is taking longer than I would have liked based on my friends' experience, but that does not make it any easier to accept.

While I am continuing to apply for positions at my experience level, I am also applying more frequently to positions that are below my experience level.  The pay is usually less (sometimes much less), but that is an entirely separate issue.  Some income and benefits is better than waiting a very long time for a position that never appears.  

As a personal note to manage my own expectations, I have not heard from the position I fully interviewed with or the position at my former employer.  These, at least, I am considering effectively "closed out".  The panel interview that I had for one company last week has also not had the follow on contact I expected - again, I am guiding this towards the "closed out" category - as a former coworker (also quoted below) noted, recruiters will often not contact you (the term, apparently, is "ghost") if the process suddenly stops.   Thus, at the moment, I have a single stream which seems to continue to move forward.

A general note about application in general, commented on as well by a former co-worker:  Linked Out allows you to see how many folks have applied for a position.  The number of individuals for most jobs I am looking at are in the 50's or above, with many individuals listed as "senior" or "managers".  This is true of even entry level positions as well.  To quote my friend, whoever has the idea that the job market and economy is healthy has no idea what they are talking about.

A Frustrating Day: Follow Up

Since I went to the trouble of posting about my frustrating day this week, I thought a follow on my be in order.

Dryer:  I was unsure if the appointment for the dryer had been "used up", as it were.  That said, I thought I could give it a shot myself (instead of rebooking).  Disassembly of the unit went as InterWeb instructions suggested:  I was able to dismount the back panel, remove the thermostat and connections, and even managed to pull the old element out.  However, I could not get the new element in without significantly bending it.

On a lark, I looked in the appointment calendar.  Nothing said the appointment was complete, so I went ahead and rescheduled the appointment.  The technician - the same guy - showed up late last evening, apologized profusely for the mistake in the addresses (we had a good laugh about it), and completed repairs.  As I write this, a load is running.

Of note, the gentleman is a friend of The Young Cowboy and has a handyman business on the side - and is local.  Good to know your neighbors.

Packing:  At the behest of some very wise thinkers, I completely took Wednesday off and busied myself with other things.  Thursday I re-approached the task, but with the sense of I was only going to do a certain number of boxes.  That continued to grow as I went, and now I am down to likely one or two boxes to pack (I ran out of packing tape, which effectively ended my progress).  

The next stage will be relocating the boxes to the Barn, along with any remaining furniture.

Observation:

On the whole, I felt better about today - not the least of which was another phone interview for the second of the two opportunities that I have going (the first has seemingly disappeared).  The call was left on a positive note; I should be "hearing from the them" by early next week.

This was encouraging on a number of levels.  The first is simply that I may be hearing from someone.  The second is that if this does manifest, I will be within a long drive of The Ranch (also, interestingly enough, of the primary location of The Collapse).  I will also be in the same time zone, so even coming down for a weekend via flights becomes infinitely more doable.

And maybe that was thing that changed everything yesterday (as the interview was in the morning):  somewhat of a sense of hope and progress, instead of feeling trapped and at loose ends.

The Collapse CXXXVI: Independence Day +1

04 July 20XX+1

My Dear Lucilius:

Independence Day is upon us.

You might remember the last Independence Day I wrote of last year: it was almost a community event of sorts (likely I saw Pompeia Paulina there, although I do not remember her), with song and a potluck. Quite the social event, for our very small town.

A great deal has happened between that July 4th and this one.

There was no formal notice of any gathering; the only sign that something was up was some raising the U.S. Flag and Gasden Flags on the same pole outside of the post office that has become our community center. People started to drift in as the day went on, bringing chairs and water.

Unlike last year, there was no potluck or band. And unlike last year, every one was heavily armed.

I would likely not have gone but for Pompeia Paulina’s insistence that I go. I have seen more than I desire of groups of people of late and do not hold the best memories of them. But she insisted, noting that if I did not get out, likely Young Xerxes would not come.

As you can imagine, I went.

People moved back and forth in the small groups, greeting one another with nods and handshakes but with muted conversations. It is as if a pall had fallen over the entire group of us, a shroud borne of the world we now live in and especially the recent challenges we had faced.

I passed a nodding greeting to two or three that I recognized as those that had also gone “Over The Mountain”. Young Xerxes was more himself than he had been of late, almost gregarious in his greetings of people he knew – and, it seemed, he knew a lot of people (which I had always suspected).

Looking at the faces in the crowd, the contrast between last year and this was stark. There were not thin and drawn faces of privation such as I had seen in pictures of civil wars and mass starvation. What I did see were the faces of people that had already started to manage their way of life as if things were going to continue to get worse, not better. People who realized – even myself, recently – that what was being faced was not something that was either going to resolve itself or get better. How the world was, we really did not know. But what our world looked like, we knew all too well.

It was at that moment that someone tremulously started sting The Star Spangled Banner.

It was reedy and a bit thin, but the singer at least had the courage of their convictions to belt out the first line. There was a moment of pause then two or three voices joined in, the entire chorus becoming stronger as the song continued on. By the time the bombs were bursting in mid air, we were all singing at the top of our lungs.

As we finished out the song with a round of applause, it was if some dam had broken or the shroud had been lifted. People began speaking in louder tones, almost normally. Some folks scuttled off and soon enough, another three piece band was performing songs which were as peppy as they were foreign to me, with words that I could only half understand as I whirled Pompeia Paulina through the crowd.

The band must have played for two or three hours until they and the crowd were exhausted. Like it or not, even on Independence Day, there was still work to be done.

It struck me that evening – and I said as much to Pompeia Paulina – that in some ways, this was really a sort of First Independence Day for us. Certainly, we all shared some things, as the Star Spangled Banner rendition demonstrated. And yet, this was the first time we celebrated a day that we were truly Independent – mostly not of our own choosing of course, and with definite hardship and uncertainty.

If this is Independence, Luculius – being responsible not just in some ways but in all ways for one’s self, facing the future with a certain fear and yet a certain sense that one’s fate is truly for one’s making – one can understand how such a concept could become the stuff of legends.

How remarkable – and I confess, exciting – that even at my age, there is still something to look forward to.

Your Obedient Servant, Seneca

A Frustrating Day

Even I get off my groove sometimes.

Yesterday was a frustrating day.  No end of the world sorts of things that really just tend to slow accumulate into an escalation of frustration.

The first thing was simply that some recruiters that said they were going to get back to me did not.  This not as uncommon a thing as it might sound like - my experience with most is you are their best friend right up to the point that you are not a viable candidate - but none the less disappointing if, in theory, you are waiting for an update.

While this waiting was going on, there was a second waiting:  waiting for a repairman to show up and complete the repairs on the dryer.  We had identified the problem last month and ordered the part, which showed up while I was in New Home.  I had to set an appointment at the time, and then move it thrice to make sure that it would be while I was present here.  The repair company sent emails 5 days out, 2 days out, 1 day out, and the day off letting me know the service was on.  I even had a window:  1000-1400.

Around 1100 I get a call from Uisdean Ruadh, letting me know the Sears repair guy had showed up at his house.  There was not a dryer problem there, but they did look at the pellet stove.   I checked; sure enough, the correct address was on the work order.  

Usidean Ruadh offered to follow up with a text which I requested he do, but nothing. I will call tomorrow.  Worst case, I have the element and can install it myself. It does aggravate me a bit, as it is relatively clear that no-one actually looked at the work order.

Then, it came to packing.

I am down to the last little bits of packing here, yet somehow it seems to take me longer and longer.  I am the only one packing things out at this point as only my "things" are the ones left; everything else has been gone over.  And to be honest, I find it overwhelming, almost more as the items get less. There is a certain amount of emotional turmoil I cannot fully describe.  Part of it is known to me, of course:  the next step after completing packing is having someone come through and take out everything else.  And, given the current likelihood that whatever job I manage to land will be an "on-site" position, the likelihood of being out on a monthly basis dwindles rapidly.  At this point, I only feel like I can count on one more fully trip in March.

And so, I get inside my head about packing.  

Today I set a goal of packing up the rest of the Franciscan Ware which would complete the kitchen.  That was accomplished as it was a single, easy task with to many things.  The remaining item is now the master closet where all of the things we identified last July are stored.  This are less convenient to pack and in some cases have even a greater pull, as they represent family heirlooms or things that likely only I will know about.

And so, I find myself somewhat stressed and emotionally wrung out.

The last two months - heck, the last year - seem like such a wholesale abrupt change to everything that I thought my life was about.  And, sadly, I do not handle change in the best manner.

Training 2024: Infrastructure

Main Dojo (Dai Dojo)

One of the things that tends to get a reaction out of people when I am talking about my training trips to Japan is usually a sense of disbelief.  "You fly that far to train every day?  For 7 to 8 hours a day?"  These sorts of comments are generally followed up by a general expression of disbelief.

Kenshu Center - Katsuura, Japan

Entrance to the Dai Dojo

Attending this sort of training has all of the advantages of doing something like a physical hike with the disadvantage that it is all in the same place:  we eat, sleep, bathe, train, relax (a bit) and wash our clothes within a 1000 foot /330 meter radius.  One can go the whole training period without going outside from the beginning to the end of training.

Kamiza, or Deity Shelf.  Formal dojo will have such a residence for the kami)

Taiko drum in the Dai dojo.

Our training schedule has varied over the years, but essentially has an early morning training, breakfast, a morning training, lunch, an afternoon training, bathing, dinner, and some brief period of time between dinner and going to sleep (in general, no-one makes it much past 8:30 PM).  On average, we train for 7 to 8 hours a day.

Standard room - fortunately there were only two of us.

Sleeping accommodations

The accommodations themselves are rather Spartan:  The rooms are four bunk beds with tatami mats on each bunk, on which a futon is placed with a sheet and a duvet for a cover.  Pillows are small and filled with buckwheat.  The room itself is almost irrelevant, as we spend so little time there other than changing and sleeping at night.

One difference this year from past years is that instead of sharing the facility with other groups, we were the only group present until Thursday, which was our last day of training. As a result, the usual buffet lines for food that we had were exchanged for prepared plates (mostly).  Rice is served with most meals, and some kind of soup and cold barley tea with all meals. I cannot say in this year or indeed in any year, any of the food has not been less than good - certainly a step above the "cafeteria style" food one might associate with some such venues.

Laundry - One of the biggest differences is that instead of driers (which they have two of, but are about $3.00 for 10 minutes) they have a "drying room", which is a large room with places to hang clothes which is warmed by an oversized industrial heater.  This was  really pleasant year to dry things; in years past we have had to share the room with kendo gear (which is incredibly smelly due to the sweat involved; think your worst gym locker smell and multiply by 10).

Bathing - Perhaps somewhat obviously, there are no pictures of the bathing facilities.  In this facility - and at least one other we were at - they are communal.  One sits on a small stool in front of a combination faucet shower which has a temperature control on one side of the fixture and a push down fixture on the other to activate the showerhead.  The most useful ones have the control at the height that one can use it with one's knee.  One showers and then has the option of drying off or getting into the ofuro (hot soaking bath).  The first year I passed this up; the following years including this year I did it every night.  Prudery eliminates itself quickly in the presence of sore muscles.

The thing that never occurred to me when I originally started training but has become evident to me to me know, is the nature of the simplicity of all of this.  By concentrating everything in a single place and having no need to go anywhere else, we are graced with the ability to focus on training and nothing else: not "Where will we eat?" or "How long will it take us to get from the hotel to the gym?" or "Where is there even a laundry facility here?".  All of that is taken care of.  

We need do nothing but show up - and train.

February Odds And Ends

- I am back in Old Home at The Ranch for my week.  Major plans including really making an effort on packing things up as given the current potential jobs will require a relocation with less ability to come here on a regular basis and replacing the facet stems on the kitchen faucet as both have started to leak (this seems like a task within my capability, after reviewing information on-line).  

- This is a fortunate outcome, as my sister let me know that my brother-in-law The Outdoorsman tested positive for The Plague after picking me up this weekend.  So staying in, at least part of the week, seems like a prudent idea since most of the folks I would see this week are all in the high risk category.

- I am patiently waiting for one last piece of documentation to arrive to complete our taxes - the information from our small investing account, which inevitably runs late.  It is a bit of a shame, as that money would be super useful at the moment. This is the last year it will be a problem; we liquidated the account in preparation for paying for the roof.  I continue to struggle with the fact that although almost everything is electronic now, companies still struggle to have such documentation complete within 30 days of the start of the year.  

- FOTB (Friend Of This Blog) Leigh from Five Acres and a Dream had made a note on my weekly job hunt update about perseverance and thick skin being required for a job hunt this days.

For reference, during the very first original Hammerfall  I kept a similar tracking sheet to what I keep today.  Sadly, I did not have it nearly as well organized as I do now so my data points are much less specific in terms of dates and the timing of responses, but at that time (2009) in a 4.5 month period I applied for 210 positions, had 43 responses (not clear if all of those were rejections), 7 first interviews, 2 second interviews, and 1.5 job offers (the 0.5 was an offer that was going to be made except I had already accepted another one).  Even counting that at two,  it is still a 0.0095% success rate.  Fortunately we are not nearly there - yet.

I will say this whole experience is an excellent reminder of how quickly money can dissipate in an emergency.

- This morning (Sunday) as I got up, two Canadian geese were outside of the back door.

We have had geese here for many years, returning every year. My father TB The Elder was always glad to see them.  They have never been so close to the house though.

In lieu of anything else, I will take it as a sign my father is still looking out for me.

Something Solid

 

Hammerfall 3.0: Weeks Seven And Eight Report

 Period: 26 January 2024 to 09 February 2024

Positions applied to:  I applied to 10 positions during this period. Total jobs applied to/opportunities investigated are 72 unique positions.

Rejections:  I was rejected for 4 positions (16 total rejections).

Conversations: 

I had one recruiter call and two second round of interview calls.

The recruiter call was for a Supervisor position. I talked with the recruiter and said I would consider a manager level based on my experience.  In theory he will ask, although between that and the potential gap in salary, I am not hopeful.

Second Round Interview 1:  I spoke with four individuals from different departments that interact with Quality.  They were all positive experiences and seemed like genuinely nice people that would make good coworkers.  I am waiting for feedback to see if I will move to the next stage, which would be an on-site interview.

Second Round Interview 2:  I spoke with five individuals from different departments - interestingly, two of them grew up not far from where I did.  They were also all positive experiences and seemed like they would make good colleagues.  As above, I am waiting for feedback on the next stage.  Also of note, I got an overview of the relocation package.  It is a very generous one.

Job losses:  Strand Therapeutics, Hookipa Pharma, Pfizer, 2seventybio,  Atara Biotherapeutics, Rakuten Medical, Xencor, Rallybio and Synlogic all announced layoffs.  195 known positions lost, 160 "transferred" to another company (2seventybio to Regeneron),  one (Rakuten) with "undisclosed" job cuts, and one (Synlogic) with no numbers but 90% personnel reduction.

Sandoz announced the closing of a facility in North Carolina (213 jobs lost) and Roche announced layoffs (around 340 people, mostly contractors).  Eon Labs  announced the closing of a facility, 213 jobs lost.  Total is 756 jobs, both in the US and internationally.

Note:  Plant closings are a pretty significant thing.  That represents a company deciding a market - whatever was produced there - is not coming back.

I should also note mass hirings, when they happen.  Jubilant HollisterStier located in Spokane, WA announced an additional 200 person hire (I have worked with this plant in the past).

Mood:

I would be lying if I did not say I was feeling a bit under pressure now.  Yes, I know that I still have 2.5 months to run on my insurance and somewhere around 4 months on my unemployment, but time flies quickly and it is already February.  

The timing is not necessarily anyone's fault of course; I forget how long hiring processes can take these days.  For the two second round of interviews above, this is still with 30 days of my application, which is rather speedy for these sorts of things.  

One thing it does suggest is that any job I have not heard from almost immediately is likely something that I am not in contention for.  That is not a hard and fast rule, but anyone that has been interested to date has shown interest pretty quickly.  If I use that as a metric, my "informal" rejection rate rises to something like 94% (on a sliding scale, of course).  That is a pretty stunning number.

Still, even with that high of a rate, it only takes one offer to change everything.

On A Possible Move

 As I continue to work through finding job (next update tomorrow), one of the things I have begun to grapple with in a serious way is the fact that the chances of a move are climbing higher and higher.

To be honest, I am unsure how I feel about this.

On the one hand of course, a move would certainly not be out of the question.  As I have written for some time now, New Home is not really "home" in that sense of the word, merely a place that I have lived for the past 15 years.  My roots here, so much as they exist, are pretty shallow:  beyond my Iaijutsu dojo and the rabbit shelter, there is little that I would miss about here.

On the other hand, those two items - my dojo and the rabbit shelter - would make the leaving very hard indeed.

Coming back fresh from a training in Iaijutsu, leaving at this moment seems very hard indeed.  There is a great deal that I still need to work on that being part of a dojo (instead of being on my own) would benefit me greatly.  And Iaijutsu has become a constituent part of my life, not just a hobby or practice that I engage in.  To lose the benefit of that direct involvement seems grievous indeed.

I am sure at least one person will ask the question "Could you open a dojo wherever you land?"  The question is not quite as simple as that:  one does not just "open" a dojo.  At best it would start out as "study group", and requires the support of my current Sensei as well as the permission of our headmaster.  And, of course, the reality is in that situation, I would have to act as Sensei as well.     Which is, frankly, a bit terrifying.

This thought, for all of its implications, has come up before and was something that I gave additional thought to while in Japan (hopefully more on that next week).

The rabbit shelter is a bit more straightforward of course; there are always animal shelters almost anywhere you go that are always looking for volunteers.  Still, it is not my shelter that I have spent the last amount of years at. It would just be, well, weird.

I have said for years I think I have one more move in me, but I was hoping (and assuming) that would be back to The Ranch, not to another third location which might end up as a waystation.  Which makes me sigh a bit.  Moving is not something I really enjoy - although to be fair, the two potential positions both include relocation packages.  The only thing worse than moving, I suppose, is having to pay for the move.

But in reality given where we are in the search and interest in positions, it seems that this is a possibility that is going to have to be given some level of consideration.  Better to have a clear vision and plan for if and when such a thing happens instead of pretending the thing will not come to pass at all, when all the data to the contrary suggests it is a real possibility.

The Collapse CXXXV: Ruminating

03 July 20XX +1

My Dear Lucilius:

Pompeia Paulina encouraged me to write this; I have had almost zero interest in doing so since my return. More power to her for suggesting me to do so; left to myself I doubt I would have done so for another week or more at least.

You may ask “What is the problem, friend?” I wish I could define it for you more completely.

Oh, it is not from any sense of recovering injury. Yes, I slept for hours and hours upon my return – a slug-a-bed, as Shakespeare might have referred to me. Pompeia Paulina generously let me sleep and took care of everything in my absence.

I have tried to keep myself busy in ways for the last three days – obviously no matter what has happened outside, the work here still needs to be done: Quail need to be fed, the garden needs to be looked after, food gathered, rabbits need to be fed and reminded they are the only pet in the world - the small things of living preparing for a Winter that is coming all too soon that need to be dealt with.

We had dinner with Stateira and Young Xerxes at least twice as well. The conversations were not as fluid as they had been before, with Stateira and Pompeia Paulina carrying the conversation. I plugged in as I was able to; Young Xerxes seemed lost in some other place, although by the end of the second meal he was at least making an effort to act as his old self.

It is not the fact of what happened that haunts me, Lucilius. It is the fact of what it represents.

There have been significant bad events in our own lifetimes: economic, political, even attacks on our soil. And each time, no matter how how bad or difficult things were, they eventually swung back to some semblance of what they were before – maybe not perfect, but the lights still worked and money was still accepted and we could drive across town or across state in safety and ease.

Not now Lucilius, not now.

The implication of an armed group of Looters making their way through settled lands, looting and stealing (and likely killing) as they go, makes a statement about the state of the world now in a way that missing power and isolation did not, at least for me. It speaks to two facts.

The first is that (apparently) all civil authority has broken down. Yes, I know – we are on the “fringes” of modern society in the minds of most in that regard, but still there was a real sense of belonging to a larger whole where the rule of law was accepted and practiced. That is gone, it seems – gone for how long is anyone’s guess, but my suspicion is that once such a thing is gone, it takes a great deal for it to be re-established.

The second is that this now seems more than the sort of events that happened in the past where things eventually “snapped back” into the established tracks. There is no snapping back now, only the alarming scenario of a flash flood breaking across a plain with no channels whatsoever.

The signs have been there for a while now, my friend. Perhaps through willful ignorance or a genuine vain hopefulness, I though things were different. I was wrong in that assessment: there are no evidence of things getting better, only gradations of things going poorly.

It is not the bodies of The Looters that haunt my thoughts, Lucilius. It is the body of a civilization lying there by the road, picked away at by the vultures and carrion scavengers until only the bones are left.

Your Obedient Servant, Seneca

Back From Training 2024

 Friends - I have returned.  On the whole no worse for wear, other than a rather long last day of travel (30 hours awake total, about 24 hours of travel time).

Main Dojo - Katsuura Training Center

How was training?  It was good - good to see everyone, good to see our headmaster, good to be back in training, good to be back in Japan.

Sunset over Katssura, looking West

Did I get any corrections?  Oh, basically a boatload of things I will need to work on so that the next time I see our headmaster, I will get new corrections to work on (this is the goal, of course - to get new corrections when you see him, not the same corrections).

Katsuura - More or less the same view as above

Did I have any breakthroughs?  I did, or at least I perceive that I did.  I need to take a little more time and writing and thought to work through them, but I think some progress was made.

Traditional Soba - Tokyo

Did I have a good time otherwise?  I did.  We got to do a bit more sightseeing than we have in years past, so I have some actually just "pictures" to show you, not lots of pictures of food from the training center and pictures of the training center.

Sunrise over Tokyo

How is the job search going? Slowly pushing along and worthy of a longer post.  The short version is that I have multi-person interviews with two companies this week for which your prayers and good thoughts are asked for.  If I am understanding things correctly, this is the second part of each of these processes.  If successful here, likely there would be a third step involved as an on-site interview.  The interview from the week before I left has returned no results and, given the current situation of these interviews, something I am happen to slow roll.

Yasukuni Shrine - Tokyo

Did I miss being out of circulation for a week and a half?  Not at all. Except for one accidental update, I followed absolutely none of the insanity that passes for the news at the moment.  Oddly enough, my life was no worse for not being informed of anything.

Mos Burger Cheeseburger meal

Do I have any more clarity than when I left?  Yes and no.  I am much clearer that Iaijutsu is a critical thing in my life and something that I need to continue to press into (as if swordsmanship somehow improves anything about the world now).  How I am going to do that impinges both on my continuing job search as well as what I might have to do in the event I am no-where without a dojo.

Sengaku-ji - Tokyo.  View of the main temple.

Did I miss all of you?  Of course I did.  Thank you, as always, for your kind management of your conversation.  I checked in briefly on comments, but I cannot tell you how much of a relief it is as a blog owner to be able to leave knowing I will not come back to the comments section "on fire", as it were.

Graves of the 47 Ronin - Sengaku-ji, Tokyo

Am I glad I went?  Of course.  But it is always good to come back home.

We Laugh At Honor

What we laugh at - really, mock - goes away.

It probably never goes away publicly, of course.  It is not like there was a 6 PM Newscast with "Breaking Story:  Honor disappears" or "Caring takes a holiday".  

No, it is mostly noticed in its absence.  People remember that once upon a time there was such a thing, but now that thing is not really present - and no-one knows why it disappeared.

Take my writing last week on the very basic respect and common courtesy afforded me as an employee on Produce (A)Isle.    I am not going out a limb to say that courtesy and respect are no longer a part of most businesses - but then again, we have mocked way the practice of addressing people with common respect or local patterns of speech and are left with human interactions stripped of the social lubricant of courtesy.

The art and science of how we get things - food, cars, plumbing - is mocked as "old school technology" or "lower level economics" or "things the uneducated do" - and over time everything costs more due to scarcity,is of a worse quality than it used to be, and one can never get someone to come out and look at something for repair.

Religion is mocked - and over time, the irreligious society appears, driven by human passions and intellectual justifications for actions, the end always justifying the means.

Honor is mocked - and over time society is genuinely surprised when no-one keeps their word or tells the truth or does what they say they are going to do.

None of things have truly disappeared - they have effectively gone underground, practiced by those who value such things.  It becomes a sort of vast secret society, the aquifer sinking beneath the land which rapidly becomes a desert - until such a time as the aquifer can be tapped and used and appreciated for the resource it is, not just the thing to be taken advantage of.

Society mocks, and then is surprised when it is forced to live in the world it has created.

The Right Path Is Not The Easiest One

One of the thing that strikes me about almost every endeavor these days is the idea almost by default, the road to success (however one measures it) should be easy.

I largely "credit" our entertainment culture with this.  From radio programs to movies to television shows to games (sports, video, role playing), the concept was reinforced that everything could be solved or mastery could be obtained in a relatively short period of time.  Thorny problems - personal, relational, career - could be solved in anywhere between 25 minutes (radio shows) to 3 hours (movies).  And the road to get to that solution - training, mastery, expertise - was equally as short, most likely a montage of excerpts of "activity" buttressed by pulse pounding music. 

Or, perhaps equivalently, mastery and resolution was simply a matter of time:  play long enough, simply "be" long enough, and things would just kind of "come".

Some could, perhaps, argue "It has always been thus" with the human penchant for telling stories - but our older stories often if not always had some kind of additional input which made the acquired resolution in a short time feasible:  Gifts of the gods, magic, a kind and benevolent fate in the form of a heretofore unknown benefactor, even miracles in the Christian era.  These also brought about resolution - but they were acknowledged as being something "out of the ordinary".

Most of us, who are in some degree older (if not wiser) know that this is simply not the case.  That resolution, that skill level does not come without cost.  It is measured in effort and time, in the hidden hours of training and unknown conversations and the efforts invisible to all including the multiple failures. This is the way to achieve the results that we actually desire.

But for many, or even most, they turn away looking for the easy way there.

Why?  Because we want the thing - the resolution, the skill, the reward - but do not want to do the  the personal change, that it will require.

Devoting yourself to something changes you.  It makes you change, because in becoming devoted to the thing you inevitably have to work through personal changes in yourself.  Sometimes, you change as person as you do the thing.

Since I have undertaken something like Iaijutsu, I have changed.  I have learned that improvement comes gradually and with effort and that we are always going to have opportunities to improve - the improvements will just be different.  I have learned patience and managing my own nature, especially my "exuberance" and being quiet in the presence of others.  I have especially learned to be much more careful in my words and my actions; training in a way that really does have the ability to create injury or harm will do that to one.

The Right Path is hardly ever the easiest path simply because the work involved is neither quick nor with effort nor leaves us as we were.  But in reality, there are very few paths that will get us where we want to go and there are none that will do so that are easy.

Let choose wisely, with our eyes fully open to all that it requires.

If God Forgives Us

 

Animal Gang

 

Not sure what is going on here, but I am all in.

On A Bank E-mail

Two Wednesdays ago I got an e-mail from my bank.

I have been using an airlines credit card  for the last 3 years or so, once going out to The Ranch and to see my parents became a thing. One earns points for money spent and gets a bolus of points on the anniversary. It was one we paid a fee for but, at that time, yielded significant benefits.

The notice that came in the e-mail had the innocuous title of "Changes to your XXXX account".  

The purpose of the e-mail was to notify card holders at starting on 26 March, a new penalty for failing to make a payment - the "Penalty APR" was being put in place. In short, in the event that a payment is missed, an interest rate of up to 29.99% (Prime plus 26.99%) will be levied against the account.  As an alternative, they are setting up a "pay over time" option for select customers and select purchases (conveniently called the "MY (Bank Name) Pay Over Time" plan.

You read that right.  29.99%

Technically, you do have the right to protest the fee - however if you do, the bank will close the account and no new purchases will be allowed to be made.  How long will the Penalty APR be in place, even if you do make the payments?  It could be up to forever, or as long as you hold the card.

They note that "As a valued customer, we encourage you to continue to make your payments by the due date to avoid penalties".

We have paid off our monthly balances for years (the points earned from credit cards have paid for any number of flights), so I had no idea what the current going rate is.  Turns out it is between 21.24% and 23.24% for purchases (that do not, apparently, miss payments).

I can only imagine the bank - I presume all the others are doing the same thing - is trying to get in front of what they see as a major failure of repayment coming in the not too distant future.  '

Which is actually pretty telling about what industry - not the people that do not have to bear the brunt of bad decisions - thinks the near future will be like.

The Collapse CXXXIV: Homegoing

30 June 20XX +1

My Dear Lucilius:

A quick note at lunch before we arrive back home.

Our departure this morning was as quiet as our arrival had been: there was no triumphal exit, no banners waving, no celebration of victories won. Just people, tired and in some cases shocked at the week that had been, heading home.

Our ride back was not over the trail we had come down but rather on the main road over the hills that separated the valleys. Slowly rolling up the hill and looking back, one could make out the scene of battle as well as McAdams briefly before it disappeared around the curve in the road. If I thought I could see the bridge where the grave of Blazer Man was located, it was most likely in my imagination.

Odd that I had seen this view scores of times before with almost a passive indifference.

We arrived back at the old county seat, where an actual crowd was waiting. Reunions were emotional, as you can imagine; I was spared the pain of Blazer Man being there as there would have been no reunion for him.

The Colonel and The Captain came around and shook each and every hand, thanking them for helping. The Leftenant came around as well to each of our small subgroup, thanking us as well and rather spontaneously giving each us – the old, the near sighted, the slow – a hug.

Human connection, Lucilius. It remains a thing.

We will depart in a few minutes for home. Young Xerxes is here with me, quiet and sober and with a slightly haunted look on his face.

I do not know we are sorry for coming. But neither can we go back to see the world as it was previously.

Your Obedient Servant, Seneca