I largely "credit" our entertainment culture with this. From radio programs to movies to television shows to games (sports, video, role playing), the concept was reinforced that everything could be solved or mastery could be obtained in a relatively short period of time. Thorny problems - personal, relational, career - could be solved in anywhere between 25 minutes (radio shows) to 3 hours (movies). And the road to get to that solution - training, mastery, expertise - was equally as short, most likely a montage of excerpts of "activity" buttressed by pulse pounding music.
Or, perhaps equivalently, mastery and resolution was simply a matter of time: play long enough, simply "be" long enough, and things would just kind of "come".
Some could, perhaps, argue "It has always been thus" with the human penchant for telling stories - but our older stories often if not always had some kind of additional input which made the acquired resolution in a short time feasible: Gifts of the gods, magic, a kind and benevolent fate in the form of a heretofore unknown benefactor, even miracles in the Christian era. These also brought about resolution - but they were acknowledged as being something "out of the ordinary".
Most of us, who are in some degree older (if not wiser) know that this is simply not the case. That resolution, that skill level does not come without cost. It is measured in effort and time, in the hidden hours of training and unknown conversations and the efforts invisible to all including the multiple failures. This is the way to achieve the results that we actually desire.
But for many, or even most, they turn away looking for the easy way there.
Why? Because we want the thing - the resolution, the skill, the reward - but do not want to do the the personal change, that it will require.
Devoting yourself to something changes you. It makes you change, because in becoming devoted to the thing you inevitably have to work through personal changes in yourself. Sometimes, you change as person as you do the thing.
Since I have undertaken something like Iaijutsu, I have changed. I have learned that improvement comes gradually and with effort and that we are always going to have opportunities to improve - the improvements will just be different. I have learned patience and managing my own nature, especially my "exuberance" and being quiet in the presence of others. I have especially learned to be much more careful in my words and my actions; training in a way that really does have the ability to create injury or harm will do that to one.
The Right Path is hardly ever the easiest path simply because the work involved is neither quick nor with effort nor leaves us as we were. But in reality, there are very few paths that will get us where we want to go and there are none that will do so that are easy.
Let choose wisely, with our eyes fully open to all that it requires.
Too few follow the Right Path, rather the Loud Path, the Chip on My Shoulder Path and it's dreaded offshoot the You Looking at ME? Path or the Look at ME! Path curtesy of Instagram/TikTok and every other SM.
ReplyDeleteNylon12, there are a lot of paths out there now. Social Media has now given everyone (including myself, I suppose) the ability to publicly declare for a particular path.
DeleteI have never expected to be great at something without a lot of dedication and hard work. That was just always who I was. So it was with some surprise when my eldest, frequently would be reduced to tears when she discovered she wasn't very good at something. I would of course encourage her to keep trying and remind her that it takes practice but I'm not sure if any of those words of wisdom have stuck. I still see her jump into things and then jump into something else immediately if she isn't great. My youngest is the complete opposite. She will try, try and try again until she starts showing real talent at something.
ReplyDeleteI have often pondered why each of my kids are the way they are and I'm not sure if I'll ever have an answer. But these days, I'm leaning towards some genetic component because I certainly don't think I raised them any differently.
Ed, I think modern society has cheated a great many people with its illusion that success or greatness (define as one will) comes at minimal cost other than showing up. Our entertainment (as noted above) supports this, but even more so is the fact that we only see the final product displayed and it seems to come at no cost: the athlete or entertainer that has arrived without seeing the years of work that went into perfecting their craft.
DeleteThis is no more fully represented to me than the fact that "You Tube Influencer" shows up now as a high aspiring employment goal. Even in that, there is a different between good You Tube and bad You Tube - but again, all that is seen is the finished product, not the hours of back end work that make that product good.
I do not know that we raised our children differently, but they also have the same sorts of differences. Genetics is a real thing.
I hate failing. I guess I am overly competitive. I learned to harness those traits to get better at what I like to do. I study the subject, then do a few trials, identify issues, then study some more. It seems to get me up to speed pretty fast. Might say gets me to the near intermediate / talented beginner stage quickly. But there is no substitute for time on target. It takes time to get routinely GOOD at something.
ReplyDeleteAnd that effort isn't wasted. Finding out you CAN DO something gives confidence to try new things. Good brain duster post this am.
STxAR - It seems to me that there are two views of failure, the "failing as I learning to get better" and "failing demonstrating that I cannot do this". The first one acknowledges that failure is the path to success, the other that failure defines my inability to do a thing.
DeleteTime is indeed the defining factor. I think we have become too much caught up in Malcom Gladwell's "10,000 hours to mastery" as times can vary - but time, and specifically time doing the thing, is indeed the factor.
If you are finding it super easy to succeed at any given goal, then maybe you are setting the bar too low?
ReplyDeleteMuch as STxAR said, I like to look into something, study it, and then get started.
I've ended up being good at a lot of things and being very good at only a few.
I have begun to believe that the education system is wronging young people when they tell them, "You can be anything you want to be." The reality is much simpler.
Some things you cannot be.
Some things you might be.
I've also come to believe that a person who is truly gifted at any skill is usually a terrible teacher of that skill.
That just don't seem to realize that what is easy for them, can be extremely challenging for another person.
John, I think it can also be how we define success. Is success being able to do something practically, or as an expert?
DeleteI can do many things "okay" and some things "well". But even in those "well", there is room for improvement. And for many things as "okay", that is really what I need them to be.
There is a fine line between encouraging people to explore the outer bounds of their limits and acknowledging that there are limits. We can likely always do more than we think, but there are limits. Not all of us can be experts.
The observation of the truly gifted is a good one. People who have had to go through the learning process more intensely can usually break it down a bit more.
Improvement comes with time and effort, definitely. In our internet age, we have everything at the snap of a finger and it's true, people expect instant gratification. They don't want to make the effort, wait for the results...great post TB!
ReplyDeleteThanks Rain!
DeleteTry explaining to someone that success may be 15 or 20 years (or more) out, and most people lose interest. They are looking for a much shorter timeline.
I don't have much to add. I will simply say "Be safe and God bless."
ReplyDeleteThank you Linda.
DeleteSomewhere along the way we seem to have lost the sense of self-discipline. For humans (indeed, for most creatures) self-indulgence is the easiest and therefore natural path to take. But we lose so much by not learning self-discipline and self-control.
ReplyDeleteLeigh, it really feels like we have. We have the discipline that comes from above, but not necessarily the internal discipline that drives ourselves once that imposed discipline disappears.
DeleteThe importance of self-imposed discipline and self-control is not emphasized as it used to be in earlier generations. This was noted by Stephen Covey (7 Habits of Highly Effective People). Late 19th century and early 20th century success literature was focused on developing the self; later literature (mid-20th century on) came to be techniques to manage others and get ahead, but not develop self discipline and self control.
Thoughtful post, TB. As are the comments. It is difficult, if not impossible to see through the eyes of youth the years of learning, making mistakes, trying again, starting over, sometimes even traumas that go into making us who we are as (hopefully) mature adults. I marvel when I meet young people who seem to know as they head off to college what they want to do with their lives. I do wonder how much nature and nurture are both at play in regards to inner motivations and disciplines.
ReplyDeleteBecki, I have always been secretly jealous of my fellows who knew exactly what they wanted to go into in school. I never had that sort of assurance. I just think some people have a very clear "calling" for whatever reason, and some of us do not (Which likely means we have other signal virtues of which we may or may not be aware. An overabundance in one area may lead to deficits in others.).
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