Monday, April 25, 2011

Coals

It feels as if my life is a series of coals right now.

Coals? Yes, coals - smouldering embers of life and purpose, having exhausted the fuel which created them.

It feels like so much of my life is essentially going through the motions at this point: I do the activities I have always done because that's what I do; I have the dreams and goals that I have always have, yet seem scarcely closer to them that I did when I started them; so many of my relationships seem to be products of habit rather than engaged.

And now I sit here is the darkening night, looking at the coals that were once my life.

This strikes me as very odd, having just gone through the season of Easter, with the reminder of Christ being raised from the dead and the gift of new life. I hardly feel any of that right now - or it is acknowledged as a truth, a truth which is not impactful on my life in a meaningful way.

So how do I breathe the coals back into life? Or do I - should I just dump the fire totally and go off to set another one? But if I set another one, I need to secure fuel create the fire - where does that fuel (goals, dreams, purpose)come from?

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