Purpose III: Father

(Another in our continuing series of "Let's Make a New Life", based on Craft the Life You Want: Creating a Blueprint for Your Future at artofmanliness.com. Today's exercise, based on prioritization of roles, is to define a purpose for each role).

Today's role: Father.

In some ways, the most daunting role of all. Few other roles bear within them such possibility for good or evil, something that may only become self evident years after the fact.

I (like most, I think) will look back at the experience and memories I have of my on father as the beginning of the basis of the impact a father can have. And mine was good - overall, very very good (although it certainly didn't feel like it at the time). Good to the point that now, when I think about it, I can honestly say "I wish I was more like my father".

But then I look at my own children, and suddenly I feel completely overwhelmed.

In some ways, I know precisely what I want to pass on to my children. I want them to have a deep love for God. I want them to love each other. I want them to love the world that God created around them. I want them to use whatever talents and gifts they have to fullest of their abilities. I want them to make an impact for good on the world around them.

But then I look at myself and my relation with them - indeed, my general demeanor when I am around them - and I wonder how truly effectrive I can be.

I am not a patient man. For me sometimes, silence is the best I can manage because I cannot take the level of bickering, of being x years old, at times. So often I let the fact that what I do (and how lost I feel in it) influence my reactions around them when I am home. And, all too often, if feels as if I am more focused on myself and the limited time I have to do "my" things rather than assisting them in preparing for their lives.

If that's the case, what would I like my children's eulogy to be of me?:

"Our father was a man who helped us learn to love God and and be confident in ourselves. He encouraged us to find those God given talents we had within us and learn to use them. He loved animals and nature and taught us to love them as well. He gave us his love of music and learning and family.

When we grow up, we want to be more like him."

It has been said that we are archers and our children are the arrows. We fit them to the bow as best we can and let them fly towards a horizon we will never reach.

If, at my death, I could let them fly towards that horizon, leaving that eulogy behind, I should think that in (at least) one area, my purpose would have been complete.