Wednesday, April 06, 2011

Purpose V: Son

(Another in our continuing series of "Let's Make a New Life", based on Craft the Life You Want: Creating a Blueprint for Your Future at artofmanliness.com. Today's exercise, based on prioritization of roles, is to define a purpose for each role).

Today's role: Son.

This role is a interesting one to write from at this stage in my life. I have my own children now, and am some 1800 miles away from my own parents. Much of what was "done" as a son has already been done (and some should probably have been undone at the time, of course, but that can't be helped now). At the same time, I am the example to my own children about how a child acts towards their older parents - which is again a position that I will someday find myself in.

Another (unhappy) thought is that this is probably a limited time position. Maybe there is another 20 years of this role, maybe not - either way, it's one of those roles that is time sensitive in a way not many others are.

So what would I like my eulogy to be for the role of son?:

"TB honored and loved his parent."

Kind of weak, isn't it?

But that's all I can seem to come up with. I honor my parents through speaking well of them, seeking their advice, trying to be the son they deserved (instead, at times, of the son they got), of helping them in ways when the need it. I love my parents by honoring them.

Is it wrong that I can't think of something more glamorous or glorious to fill this space? Or is it simply that in many ways, the role of parent/child often morphs (or should, anyway) into a sort of role of friend?

(Which brings up a slightly more interesting - and macabre - thought: the older we get, do certain roles and the memories and importance of them fade? When people in their 70s and 80s die, their role as a child to their parents is seldom, if ever, remembered.)

Odd thoughts indeed - thoughts I have never had before. I'll bear them in mind, even as I go about my day to day tasks. Certainly honoring and loving someone is in itself a large task, perhaps larger than anyone ever thinks of.

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