(Source)
Some of greatest kindnesses offered to me were offered by people that did not have time to spend with me but spent it with me anyway. And some of the greatest discomforts I have had are by people who clearly indicated that they did not want to spend time with me but were doing it in a begrudging fashion.
Even the very act of stopping, listening fully, and engaging - even when we do not feel like we have the time - can have untold benefits in the lives of others. We are showing them that are important - maybe more important than they feel they are.
We can practice kindness in the most seemingly insignificant moments - or at least, seemingly insignificant to us.
Just showing some human kindness to folks is often the little thing that keeps them from depression and worse.
ReplyDeleteI cannot tell you how many suicide prevention hotlines calls that were successful because of a little human kindness.
Listening, asking gentle questions that show them you heard them is sometimes critical to someone who is not kind to themselves (self blame and so on).
Anon, often we are our our own worst enemies. Having someone that has a perspective that is not "I am the worst person ever and here is every mistake I ever made" made a world of difference to me; I am glad to hear it can make a difference for others.
DeleteTime.....a right precious commodity and what to do with it is perhaps one of the most important decisions to make in life. Spending time with others is never wasted time TB.
ReplyDeleteNylon12, we value time far too cheaply and spend it in a profligate manner, assuming that there will always be more. If only we say it as it really is.
DeleteThis is a challenging one for me. I'm rarely comfortable with people so giving them the gift of time isn't easy. I agree, though, that it is a wonderful kindness.
ReplyDeleteLeigh, I have had to work very hard on myself to do this - especially at work, where I always seem to be "in demand". But the attention spent with someone often maters far more than the nature of the discussion itself. Making someone feel important has so many good qualities - if only I could remember that more often.
DeleteTime is the most precious resource a human has, so to share it is to share all they are or all they ever will be.
ReplyDeleteJohn - This. If only we educated ourselves this way, instead of lesser things.
DeleteI think others might consider me fairly good at this sort of thing but as someone who tends to lean towards the introverted side of things, it takes a toll and I need some me time to recover between sessions.
ReplyDeleteEd, it is hard on me as well. My recovery time can be long. And then I remind myself that it can make such a difference and throw myself back into the fray.
DeleteA week ago I was talking with a gal who befriended me a few years ago when I was going through some hard "stuff". At the time, I didn't know what she saw in me to start showing me so much kindness, but I was very appreciative. As we talked recently, we discussed how as we grow older, we're not necessarily needing for people do things for us (yet), but how much more we value when someone simply treats us like they like us. And they want to spend time with us. I try to live that more and more toward others, but I also like my alone time. I will say... being at this stage of life I'm in makes it easier to get plenty of both things in. :)
ReplyDeleteBecki - "As we talked recently, we discussed how as we grow older, we're not necessarily needing for people do things for us (yet), but how much more we value when someone simply treats us like they like us. And they want to spend time with us." Even now, I find that I tend to let busy-ness get in the way of simply spending time with my friends and loved ones. As if somehow that will show my appreciation to them.
DeleteAs I grow older, I need less "things" and less "experiences". I do need more time with those I care about though.