Tuesday, April 18, 2023

Of The Prodigal Son and Toilet Tanks

 Post-hike days are an interesting miasma of impressions, built up from a collection of things that I was thinking of or read prior to leaving, three days on the trail, and the post day events which bring me back to reality like a meteor plunging to Earth.

This is complicated a bit this time by the fact that my "reality" is much different than it has been in past returns:  there are no work related issues to return (instead, things to actively be avoided).  So it leaves a great more time for other things to fill the space.

Two things have filled today's space:  Henri Nouwen's The Return of the Prodigal Son and toilet tanks.

I have completed reading The Return of the Prodigal Son, and to commenter Bob's thoughts, it is every bit as powerful as he described.  That said, I want to give it its full due as a stand alone review.  What I will say - relevant to my thoughts now - is that Nouwen has a very thought provoking (dare I say confrontational, presented in so gentle manner) about taking our place in the world as Jesus to others - the reflection of God in the father of the Prodigal Son's story.  It was a thought that left me thinking of my own role in the world.

Which was, strangely enough, interrupted by cleaning toilet tanks.

I first noticed a small black spot behind the main bathroom at the my parents' house.  That was odd, I thought, and then opened the tank top.  A coated inky blackness greeted me.  Mold, apparently.

When it arrived, I do not know.  To be fair, I want to say I had only opened the toilet tanks - at least this one - last month.  None the less, I checked all of them - and they were all the same.  Which necessitated a trip to town to get bleach, lots of white vinegar, sponges, and a new toilet brush.

Labor was, of course, provided by yours truly.

As I sat there, moving from tank to tank scrubbing away, spraying, rinsing, spraying again, letting things soak, I had a fair amount of time to think, this time specifically about my presence here and the future.

This has been the third near miss we have had here in terms of the house.  The first, last November, was the small leak in the roof that created a damp spot in the ceiling that I fixed and repainted.  The second was the same leak, now manifested to much more of the ceiling and water on the floor - no real floor damage, but that was only a fluke of the fact that I came right after it had happened (at least I was able to get the roof leak that time).  The third time is now this issue with the toilets - and, by the way, the toilet in the master bathroom is now leaking when it is flushed on the floor, so that will need to be attended to.

Yes, I know that it can be controlled: drain the tanks when I leave, put something in for the residual water.  But it points to a larger issue:  in reality, someone really needs to be here full time.

To be completely fair, this house represents not just my own sentimentality:  it represents value in an estate which is not mine, an estate that needs to be managed on behalf of someone else (my mother) with some level of fiduciary responsibility - said a different way, the house should not be worth less just because someone is not here to keep a pulse on the state of the house.  In each of the cases above, had someone been here these problems would have been dealt with much more quickly.

Which is where The Return of The Prodigal Son comes back in.

Without stealing too much thunder from an actual book review, part of item that Nouwen deals with is the idea of accepting our role in being a conduit of God's love - by growing up and into such a role.  Society, politics, culture - all seek to pull us into a mode of dependence on others to make decisions for us.  We need to see life clearly, even as work to see life through God's eyes in being conduits of His unconditional love.

The question is if my inability to move here is creating a situation where the house and thus the estate is suffering.  Because that would represent me being selfish to the point of putting my own dreams or desires - not even needs - first.

No decisions have been made at all, but I am definitely re-examining where I am in the course of life. On the one hand, I would deeply like to be here.  On the other hand, my life is in a transition where - frankly - even being here one week a month may not be possible.  Is it right to impede the estate for that?  Or better to ensure that at some level the value is being preserved and perhaps even income being added to the estate?  My mother has insurance, but there is always the risk that it will not be paid past her need for it.

If that is the case, does it mean never?  Of course not.  One thing has become painfully clear to me: that when it is time to move back, there will be no question about it.  It could be next week.  It could be years from now.  Either way, does it matter?

I do not have answers of course, just new thoughts in search of a method to consider them.  But if I am being honest - truly honest - I am acting in a way that in one light, I have no right to:  I am making ownership decisions as if I had them, which I do not.   And my selfishness should never be the grounds for the destruction of anything.


23 comments:

  1. I've never heard of mold growing in a toilet tank. But google assures me it is possible if not used for long periods of times. This allows the water to warm up and the chlorination to dissipate which makes sense. Perhaps you need to give Cowboy the keys to your "throne" and tell him to make occasional deposits.

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    1. Ed, I have done a little more reading since I posted. We have a couple of challenges, the most straightforward being we are on well water, not city water, thus no chlorine. Humidity apparently is also a big factor, and not too long ago this house was in two feet of snow with no power and thus nothing to regulate the humidity.

      On-line suggests some options such as vinegar in the tank (which will happen going forward) as well as occasional use, so certainly something I can ask the Cowboy about (he already has keys to the place). But that along with the roof leak issues that were not worse than they were definitely have me thinking.

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  2. Interesting post, TB. Self-realization is never easy, I suppose because being honest with oneself is a challenge. There is a freedom, though, in figuring things out.

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    1. It is hard, Leigh. It is hard and I do not like it one bit. That said, one thing that is in short supply in the world today is looking at things realistically and factually. I need to practice what I preach.

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  3. I pretty sure your also thinking of the immediate future issues ahead.

    Warning Yellow Pad ahead. Pro's and Cons.

    Which place has the best location for reasonable employment?

    Skillsets applicable? Can the job be done remotely? If so, can you be replaced by someone in India remotely?

    With the lack of teachers in rural areas (seems the young woke want City life) some schools are allowing motivated educated people to serve as assistant teachers and such.

    Which place has best current resale potential? As interest rates climb, 2nd homes and such are harder to sell at break even or better. The sellers' market of "As is" seems gone from Bobs quiet comments. So, repairs needed before selling?

    A home ignored falls apart. Does that home have a septic system? The septic system is alive and requires "deposits" to keep its ecosystem alive. Might need to give it a boost of bacteria and baby feeding for a while to get it up to speed.

    Taxes, which home needs less of the Kings coin to pay off the Tax man?

    Which one is easier to keep warm? Seems a lot of the recent actions of our "Betters" is to reduce our carbon foot print and that means less and more expensive energy.

    Will your Mother need assets sold to pay for long term care? Interesting rules about that, like in my state the 5 year claw back rule to prevent "Beggaring and elder to get state long term care".

    Which home has the best friends and allies' advantage?

    Do you have acreage assets that can create an trusted allied sharecropper situation? Hay, cattle etc.?

    Which home has less exposure to the coming craziness? I'm pretty sure there are some cheap homes in the middle of Portland OR right now.

    Which home has the best water, firewood, gardening potential?

    Cost of living vs social welfare net?

    Time before you can apply for Social Security?

    I'm sure your yellow pad has room for more such ponderings.

    You're in my prayers friend.

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    1. Thank you Michael. Those are indeed all valid points. I can take a few of them.

      Financial on the whole: Honestly, New Home is likely better. Taxes are less oppressive. Home there is probably easier to move on a needed basis (to be fair, in a "normal" market). Employment...Up in the air. To date, my recent search is not really supporting "remote" as a viable option, so I am looking at locations/jobs that would at least be in the state Old Home is in. In terms of replacement, my whole industry could be outsourced to another locale.

      Long Term Care: My parents have the sort of Long Term Care Policy you cannot get anymore so in theory she is covered for the rest of here life (yes, it really is that good). That said, there is a "maximum benefit" which they could invoke (I suspect they will). Currently with her retirement and my father's pension, she would be fine.

      Liveability: The Ranch wins here in terms of ability to heat, raise food, etc. New Home has all the benefits and lack of benefits of an urban environment.

      Cost of Living: This would be actual math, but I suspect New Home wins out here as well. But a much better social welfare net as well.

      Social Security: Earliest would 7-8 years.

      I very much appreciate the prayers.

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  4. Nylon124:50 AM

    Ed has made a good suggestion if things continue the way they have been while Michael's Pros & Cons cover A through Z. Plenty to think about there. Indeed,prayers out to help you think and decide.

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  5. Anonymous9:37 AM

    Michael's list is excellent. I would add that if you and your sister know mom's will and you have agreed upon her terms and how to split your inheritance I hope you get it in writing with your mom's attorney. Please see the attorney with sis before you even begin to make any permanent plans. Then, if indeed the ranch will be yours then you can start to act as the de facto owner. That's the reason for the written agreement. If your friend is living in the rental home can you and your sister agree to either pay him to come say 3x a week and look everything over and then call you or the necessary people if it's out of his ability. Or offer him a reduced rent.

    As far as the toilet leaking that sound like a clog in the line and the wax ring will need to be replaced. That usually means you need a plumber. I'm on a septic and had the same problem. It took less than an hour to find the clog and replace both bathrooms wax rings.

    Friend 5 years ago died and will stated that a daughter who was the only unmarried and childless of the 7 siblings, was to be given the house. Problem was the house was sold not long before she died and said daughter claimed all that money from the house should be hers and of course the other 6 said NoWay. They are still fighting over this. All it said to me was get everything in writing and never put off updating your will.

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    1. It is an awfully good list.

      In terms of division of the estate, there is a trust in place and we have a working agreement - but finalization will be on the value of the estate at the time of the trust being closed. There could variation in terms of the cash/property one way or the other.

      A plumber to look at all three is not a bad idea - that said, will have to wait for my next visit.

      As a side note, our wills just (finally) got signed to avoid the very problem you speak of.

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  6. We don't get mold in the toilet tank, but in places that stay wet, such as under the bowl rim. Careful with using bleach in the tank. Bleach eats the flapper valve... or whatever type of flush mechanism you have... alive! If the house is on septic, bleach will kill the enzymes in the septic tank once the toilet is flushed. If the house isn't occupied, you might want to shut off main water valve to the house and flush the toilet tanks dry. You might even leave the tops off the tanks to allow the tanks to dry, to keep mold from getting a foothold. The former; a plumbing failure unseen might as well be a house fire! In my mom's case, the inlet pipe to her water heater cracked while she was snowbirding out of state. It wasn't noticed until I went over to check on the house a month after she left town. Long story short, that cracked pipe resulted in over $200K in damage! If you shut off the water, shut off the water heater as well.

    It's truly amazing how quickly an unoccupied house will deteriorate!

    If you're the one keeping the estate usable, then you DO have the right to make decisions as to maintaining it!

    ...It's impossible to know God's will for you without consulting God. So... consult God. I know that sounds really low-IQ, but who among us doesn't try to handle things on our own instead of "bothering God" with questions? Believe me; God LOVES to be bothered by His children!!! Pray... ALWAYS!!!

    God be with you, TB.

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    1. Pete - Bleach was quite noted as rough on the systems and on the rubber portions of the toilet as well. That said, it was pretty bad - so I hit it once with bleach and then moved to vinegar. It was still a long (and depressing process). I am trying to figure out a short term solution until then.

      Yes, it is amazing how quickly it goes. More quickly than I imagined. Which I am thinking of this in the first place.

      Working on the prayer aspect, and appreciate the thoughts and prayers.

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  7. I seem to recall posts ago that The Ravishing Mrs. TB was okay with moving to Old Home.
    As things sour in the cities, Cost of living may swing and social welfare may not be welcome.
    If The Ranch wins in terms of livability does that change the cost of living between there and New Home?
    Depending on when your next visit will be, perhaps you could work out something with the Cowboy in regards to having a plumber check things out?

    Prayer and pray, for sure. May God show you His plan, TB.
    You all be safe and God bless.

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    1. Linda - We have talked about it more. The reality is that when we last discussed it (frankly), I had a job. Simply put, I do not know and so her income is our sole source (beyond unemployment and a part time job) that we can foresee at the present time. And my current future status is unknown - even if I find something, I have no idea if it will be remote and so allow that.

      In the short term, we can certainly do things to minimize damage. In the longer term, something will have to change.

      The prayers are much appreciated.

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  8. When Bob the multi-real-estate broker was mentioning trouble in the system quietly?

    Now it's on Zero Hedge and soon MSN.

    https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/dominos-falling-brookfield-defaults-161-debt-dc-office-buildings

    Brookfield is a company I own stock in, a very profitable stock even today. If Brookfield decided, it's worth the business troubles of defaulting on a major real estate District of Criminals (DC) something really bad is going down.

    Banks staggering, Fed throwing money out the repo window, Target is talking about Chapter 13, even Tupperware is looking at "reorganization" a euphuism for a chapter something soon.

    I'd think hard about what home to keep and what to sell while there is still some sort of market.

    Folks, we've witnessed youths gone wilding in two+ major cities in the past week. That's WITH electricity on and food on the table.

    A Banking holiday might make food on the table a chancy event as I used to be a cross country trucker for a year. Company Credit Card fails and cannot be fixed with a phone call, it is DROP the Trailer and Bobtail Home. Nobody carries the cash to feed a 4-5 MPG Semi.

    Tempus fugit. None of us will get warning that the Banking Holiday is near. Please get serious about those deferred because it's "Alarmist" or too expensive (looking at myself here) preps you need.

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    1. Ultimately Michael, we can make the decision we can implement with the ability, time, and resources that we have available to us. And in some cases, the mental fortitude to do so.

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  9. This is utterly less complicated than you are making it, emotion is just in the way.

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    1. John - You are correct. To be fair (I suppose), I am highly emotional. Something I need to correct.

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    2. Nah, there are just constraints you are creating that aren't so. Choose the ones you want.

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    3. Fair. I will note some of my current constraints are beyond my immediate ability to adjust, but may be with time.

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  11. Emotions make us human, uncontrolled emotions make us animals or monsters.

    “I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.”

    ― Frank Herbert, Dune

    And

    Proverbs 9:10 (and many more)

    10 “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom,
    and the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.

    So, I suggest it's not a "Correction" needed but a centering of the soul to "Control" emotions.

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    1. The quote from Dune is one I have used often (as is the Proverbs quote). I have often wondered if it was created solely by Herbert or is based on some other historical culture.

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