The wind is blowing fiercely this morning.
It makes a nice counterpoint to the rain that was falling earlier this morning, which seems to have disappeared at the moment. The outside is becoming dimly grey as the sun begins its journey behind the clouds, a dim pervasive light that slowly raises the gloom inside.
The wind blows through the fireplace. I can hear it as it fuels the draught that burns the wood inside and drives the fireplace fan on top of the firebox, which quietly clicks away as it blows heat into the room.
I do not suppose I need the heat at this level - it is already warm enough in here. But the sound and color bring me a certain joy and it costs me nothing, so I let it burn and add another log to the fire.
There is a certain simplicity in all of this - were I to pull down my laptop, I would sit in the ever lessening gloom. With exception of the airliners that occasionally fly overhead, things are largely silent and even possibly as they were a hundred years ago.
I have written before - and often - of the silence that I find here. Not the silence of the absence of sound - there is never that in the real world - as much as the silence of the modern world: the cars, industrial noises, random noises of civilization, and even people.
I am prone it is as well, perhaps more often than I care to admit. I will often fill the silence at New Home with noise - not so much to fill the nothing with something as to drown out the other noises that are going on around me. An instinctive reaction perhaps; a right reaction, not at all.
Silence seems to make us uncomfortable. Perhaps it should: silence forces us in upon ourselves in a way that a world of sound does not. We have nothing else to interrupt us, so we are forced back to an internal conversation and review, something which can often be uncomfortable.
"The unexamined life is not worth living." This is credited to Socrates via Plato and has made its way into the common lexicon of motivational speeches, motivational posters, and memes. But do we really believe it? We smile grimly as we hear or see these words, agreeing internally that we need to rigorously examine ourselves.
But only on our terms: when it is convenient, when it is not burdensome, when we have the time.
Silence distorts this. Silence is now, silence is inescapable. Silence makes us examine ourselves simply because we have nowhere else to turn in the silence but inward. All the great contemplative traditions recognize silence as a critical factor to growth and self-understanding. They inherently know something that the modern world does not: silence increase self examination and knowledge while the constant filling of our lives with meaningless sounds decreases it, leaving us in a bemused state, unable to focus on that which is truly critical.
Outside, the first bird of the morning has started sounding.
I agree with your opinion of silence. I know I become uncomfortable with silence when my wife and kids are out of the house and I'm all alone for several days. I think that is a large reason why single adults have a cat, dog or other pet (not fish - they are pretty silent too, lol) as room mates. Good company. Television only distracts us from the loneliness.
ReplyDeleteIt is odd. I am actually pretty comfortable with the silence, with our pets or not (to be fair, add "Rabbits" to the list of animals that are quiet. Dog, Cat, and Guinea Pigs - not so much). But even then it is at least for me a sort of companionship and someone to talk to (even if they in fact do not talk back). Television and its cousins radio and streaming are different - they are distractives, not additives.
DeleteSilence is good out in the woods.......hunting. Don't move, just stand and listen. Try not to move the head even, just.....listen and watch for movement, anything. Look for something that doesn't belong there. Learned that even before becoming a teen-ager. Concentration? Check. Focus? Check.
ReplyDeleteNylon12 - I have never hunted, only fished. I can see where hunting would make silence a necessity. Fishing not quite as much - although to this moment I had not realized how much the quiet is part of the experience.
DeleteYou have described the last two years of my life. This last 9 months as has been the time of silence. Unable to breathe has been a pain, but it has also allowed me time to think. Perchance to dream as well. (sorry) It wasn't enforced, I had the option of blasting the radio or watching things on the tube. But a lot of that time was in contemplating, thinking, viewing the reruns of pivotal moments in my life. It has been most helpful to slow down and think. Patterns have emerged. Some good, some not so good, and some bad. How would I have ever known what needs cultivating or pruning if I hadn't had this slow, quiet time? It's difficult to take inventory when the store is open...
ReplyDelete"There is more in heaven and earth, STxAR..." wait, that has been used.
DeleteThank you for sharing your experience - because you have put into words what I have only hinted at. In point of fact the "deep work" of thinking into our lives can ultimately only be done in the silence of our souls. Yes, conversation with others can help that experience along - and often does - but at some point the true change had to come from within ourselves, and that only comes in silence.
We've covered this before but I feel that is why so many people no longer read anymore because they can't tolerate the silence and perhaps the inevitable introspection.
ReplyDeleteWhen we moved into this place, the fireplace liner was compromised and so I put in a wood burning insert. While we do use it and enjoy the direct warmth in the winter months, I don't use it nearly as often as I would if I could hear the crackle and pop of embers burning.
Ed, we have - but it is a good reminder. I also do not wonder that at this point, we demand visual entertainment, not just words.
DeleteThere is an element of missing the "sound" experience of the fire, although in my case I am fortunate enough to have a chair close enough to the fireplace to enjoy at least some of the muffled sounds.
I don't mind silence, but as you point out... there's no such thing as complete silence.
ReplyDeleteKelly - Occasionally I am tempted to try a sensory deprivation tank, which creates complete silence (and the loss of the ability to discern the other senses). The thought both fascinates and disturbs me.
DeleteThe silence of Old Home is a healing silence. New Home does not have that.
ReplyDeleteA blessed weekend to you all, TB.
One of the main selling points indeed, Linda.
DeleteI am comfortable with silence (the amount that is possible). And I do quite a bit of introspection normally. Too much, at times. The past 16 months my propensity for soul searching has driven me to very painful places after the loss of my brother and the aftermath which included facing nearly a lifetime of regrets. Silence has provided time to pray, to meditate, and to do some healing.
ReplyDeleteOn the other hand, I have tinnitus, and tinnitus makes silence impossible. There are times, when I'm not needing to focus on something else, I will turn on the radio just to have something to cover the constant whistle in my ear. I wonder what a sensory depravation tank does to one's sense of hearing. Do you know that some tinnitus is thought to be a phantom noise the brain creates to fill the emptiness when hearing loss happens? The only time I've experienced anything similar to tinnitus is when in a deep cave and the lights are turned out and everyone is instructed to be silent for a minute or so. The silence in a deep cave is very uncomfortable. I wonder what it would feel like with my tinnitus, though, as I carry around my own sound machine. ;^)
Becki, I had recently heard a comparison that tinnitus is the brain trying to fill in the inputs that are no longer there. It was eye opening to me.
DeleteHaving spent time at a social event - a big one - this weekend - I am finding that I value silence all the more.
My condolences on the loss of your brother.