Monday, January 04, 2021

The Ranch: An Update On TB The Elder And The Future

Thanks for all of your kind thoughts and prayers.  My father (TB The Elder) is back home after two nights in the hospital.  The current diagnosis is "Syndrome of Inappropriate Antidiuretic Hormone Secretion" or SIADH (if you are truly curious, see Wikipedia here).  The simple version (e.g., my version) is that due to some condition, the kidneys push sodium out instead of regulating it, lowering the overall blood sodium level and causing hyponatremia (low sodium).  There are a number of potential causes and fortunately the most concerning - heart, kidney, or other organ issues) seem blessedly absent.  The doctors are continuing to work diligently to find a root cause - currently they have changed some of his medications and we have another round of appointments coming over the next couple of weeks, so hopefully we can get to the bottom of this.  

As before, any prayers or good thoughts you have to spare are greatly appreciated.

But this has implications.

One thing that he has now mentioned both to my sister and myself is between his current medical conditions and my mother's continuing decline due to dementia, it is probably time for them to consider an assisted living situation.  There is one in the town they came from - my hometown - that they will be looking into next week that they already have friends living in.   

Which means leaving The Ranch.

Fortunately, my parents are in a position (by years of carefully planning and diligent work; to be clear, they built this life, not anyone else for them) that they would not be required to sell The Ranch to move.  And my father has made it clear - he reiterated it this weekend - that he wants the land to remain in the family. 

So there is a better than even chance that this year, The Ranch will become effectively our concern and responsibility as we will take over the costs associated with it and with managing it.

We are lucky, luckier than most. That cattle that you see in some of the pictures is tended by a man and his family that have had their cattle their for 15 or more years, who love the land as much as we do, and are (literally) there every day.  We also have the small cabin you have seen in some of the pictures, occupied by a long time renter who has done work for my parents in the past - all of this to say there are responsible people onsite (as well as my Aunt and Uncle, who literally live up the road).  So it is not as if things would go unoccupied with no-one around.

All of this means that the theoretical process I have been discussing for years now needs a timetable. I am not sure what it completely looks like - after all, there are two tethers that keep us in New Home at the moment, the major one being a sophomore in high school and the second one is my job (which, to be fair, already now allows me to commute remotely one week a month).  Items of import - but of lesser import - include negotiating how I will continue to practice and improve in my martial art and building a home gym to replace the one I use (yes, yes, I know,  pretty much of less import but I have worked to hard to get to this point to completely give up my progress).

Strangely though, I am confident that these things will resolve themselves as we continue to move forward.  Not by themselves, of course:  there needs to be a plan and steps and such (what luck that I was "transferred" into project management last year).  It is just a matter of moving forward in a purposeful manner.

The Future, as they say, is suddenly here.

16 comments:

  1. Lots of good news here. Firstly, about your father. Always a relief to figure out what's going on, even if the resolution remains elusive. It's odd how so many people think of sodium as some sort of toxin, and don't understand how essential the correct amounts are to the body.

    And, the land! What a blessing that it can stay in the family, and is in a good position to be maintained during whatever sort of transition the future holds. Very exciting!

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    1. Leigh, the lack of sodium is a puzzler to me for sure - my father has suffered from high blood pressure for years and pays some attention to his diet - but most people suffer from a surfeit of it, not a lack of it. It seems backwards to our modern sodium laden society for sure.

      Yes, very grateful that we can have a transition that will not result in things being left unobserved for a long time. Trying to work out next steps (A plan - It is like I know someone that has written a book on this or something...).

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  2. Tomorrow always comes.

    I am glad you're keeping the property in the family. I'm glad you're thinking of the kids too. I'm glad they have friends in the care home too. They will love it. Most old folks have to be dragged in there kicking and screaming... and then are shocked and delighted to find that they're actually pretty good.

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    1. It does, Glen. Maybe not as we imagine, but it does.

      I think they will, assuming all goes well. The friends help, and I think having others around to help my father with my mother will help him tremendously. And hopefully once The Plague is...regulated? (not sure what the word here is), they can come back up as much as they like.

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    2. The plague is a serious thing for them. It's like falls - if you or I go splat! in a mud hole - it's funny and an occasion for sport and merriment. If they do it... the old folks don't bounce all that good. So it goes for Covid or any flu...

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    3. Certainly given the last month in my family, not worth taking the chance. My father's sister remains in the ICU, intubated and sedated with slow improvement at best - she recently went on dialysis to help the process.

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  3. I am very happy that he has a diagnosis. I trust they will figure out the right course of action (with God's help, no doubt!)

    The Ranch, It's Biblical, and I believe it makes sense. The father provides land. This education idea is recent and wrong. My opinion. Worth the paper it's printed on.

    The old folks home I visited as a kid reminded me of stories about the Bataan death march. 20 years ago or so, I visited a friend up in Montana. He is a pastor, and we went to visit a guy in an "assisted living" home. I steeled myself... We went to a large apartment building, and it was... surprising.

    Each floor had a communal area, the rooms were like for-real apartments. It was homey, and clean. Just like an upscale apartment complex.

    Down here in Texas, we have both now. The hospital-like concentration camp, and the apartment complex for the aged.

    I hope everything works out to the maximum happiness for all concerned. Truly...

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    1. STxAR - Very happy as well. Now that we have something to work with, hopefully we can advance to a conclusion.

      Assisted living homes are much different than they used to be, just as you stated. We will look at this one and if it does not work, we can look at others. But I think it will be an overall good thing.

      As to The Ranch - for years I have felt that if I had one calling, that was it: to preserve that land. Hopefully that is a fulfillment of that purpose.

      I am confident things will start to move in a forward direction as well.

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  4. sorry to hear about your family over the last couple of months. I did not respond in posts as I was playing catchup and dod not want to find out something bad had happened..just in case. It is great that your father wants to keep the property in the family too. I am sure you would honor it with the respect it deserves!

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    1. Thanks EGB. It has been less desirable of a year end than we could have hoped for, but at least we went back for Christmas with a sense that this might be the last Christmas in this setting. In that sense, these events are less surprising than they might seem.

      I am grateful my father is willing - and able - to make this happen as well. Also grateful for my sister, who is okay with moving forward in this direction as well.

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  5. Being married to a medical doctor, I know that diagnosing problems is almost never a black and white issue. Most of the times it is a result of several things, perhaps not all that will ever be known by the doctor. Hopefully the doctors will narrow down things and figure out how to control the salt levels which are so important to our living.

    When my grandparents reached the age of needing a change in location, I was lucky to stumble on a place here in town that had an independent living apartment complex as well as assisted living and a nursing home building. They absolutely loved living in the independent living part where they didn't have any maintenance to do ever, no meals to cook if they didn't want to and didn't have to wash their bedding or sweep the floors. (The rest of the cleaning they did have to do.) They also had their privacy and were only checked on if they missed a meal that the staff had been told they would be dining with them. My grandma is now in assisted living and doesn't like it as much because they have much more control of her life but she does recognize the need for it and the town she is living in now didn't have independent living options.

    I am struggling about the farm in my life too. Unlike your situation, it is empty and nobody is around to care for it on a daily basis. I would move there in a heartbeat but unfortunately have too many tethers right now holding us where we live 40 miles away. Fortunately I do have free time and 40 miles isn't all that far so I can go down there often to get my fix until we can sort the tethers in our life out and reduce them.

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    1. Ed - Medicine is sometimes a lot slower that people imagine - working in the industry, I get that more than most. I think some of the initial work has already been done over the last few weeks due to the ongoing issues and that we are moving towards a more solid resolution.

      The initial situation you describe for your grandparents sounds like the sort of thing that my parents are looking at as well. I think that it will serve them well - they are still quite capable of caring for themselves, it will just relieve some of the day to day responsibility (and the social aspect will be good for them as well). Fortunately they live in an urban of enough area that if this does not work out, there are other options.

      Land is hard. I have wanted to move up there since my parents decided they were moving up there 20 + years ago; life intervenes as it has a habit of doing and instead of getting closer, we got farther - much farther - away. The inadvertent career change and the whole world shutting down due to The Plague has ironically helped that one thing for me; hopefully I can leverage this to get my fix (it is the correct use of the word) until the more permanent solution comes.

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  6. Good news on your parents, TB. And that you are going to keep the ranch in the family. So many family farms are sold and then as the offspring age they want to go back but the cost of purchasing the acreage are prohibitive. Ag land gets sold for development prices. It is sad. Keeps young people out of the market and only leaves the big agri-business in charge of our food.

    I'm excited for you and the family! Woot!
    Happy New Year!!!
    ~Karen

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    1. Thank you Karen. Very grateful that we are getting to a resolution with my father.

      Frankly, were the land to be sold, I could never go back as I would be priced out of the market. As you have seen, it is not quite flat farmland for development, but some genius would find a way to put homes on it. We are extra lucky in that there is someone there now (with Black Angus) which is using the land as it has been used since the late 1940's, when my great Aunt and Uncle acquired it.

      I am looking forward to it as well. Very hopeful this is the first step on the road back.

      Happy New Year to you and your (snow bound) family as well!

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  7. Endocrinology is unbelievably complex, and I've weathered seminars in the subject that left my head spinning. The kidneys regulate sodium in the bloodstream, and they in turn are under adrenal and pituitary control mechanisms. I've always thought that unless you have blood pressure issues, or renal problems, that salt intake is a non issue. But those two caveats are crucial for your father, and we hope for his continued diagnostic challenge to be sorted out favorably.
    As for the ranch versus assisted living, I can echo sentiments already expressed. I've known quite a few people forced into them at the point of rage and tears, only to find that they now have a sympathetic peer group around them they did not know existed. They end up loving it.
    For you, the word that springs to mind is serendipity. You may find your timelines pushed and pulled in different directions. It is probably quite important to your youngest to finish high school where she is, but after that plans can and do change rapidly. I hope you are able to discuss ambitions with the neighbors/caretakers at the ranch, and enlist their support. Watchful eyes are invaluable.
    I detest commercial gyms with a passion, and have my own equipment at home. A squat rack is wonderful to position a bar at chest height for presses and squats. Deadlifts require only a good bar and a solid surface (flat soled lifting shoes are wonderful). I have no need of bench presses, but anyone doing it alone absolutely needs a safety cage to catch a failed lift. I have mentioned before that I'm a firm adherent of Mark Rippetoe's Starting Strength program, and his friend and colleague Jonathon Sullivan's book The Barbell Prescription is essential reading for anyone over the age of forty.

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    1. Greg, as I indicated in my response to Leigh, the low sodium completely surprised me as it not a problem I typically associate with modern living - most of us have precisely the opposite problem. I am hopeful that over the next couple of cycles the truth can be sussed out.

      The assisted living will be difficult at first I imagine - and to be fair, current circumstances (e.g. The Plague) make nothing easier. I think the additional eyes and hands will relieve a great deal of stress.

      Serendipity is an invaluable word, and I should have thought of that (I will now, of course). The Ravishing Mrs. TB and I have begun to discuss different options and we will see how things go; given the current economic climate and my industry change can occur rather quickly.

      A home gym is the ultimate goal, although given the current space at the house (and garage), not really feasible at this point. I have spoken with my coach and let him know my needs; he is working to provide me with a list at some point. He has me primarily train with olympic lifts (Bench Press, Squat/Leg Press (due to my fall last year, getting under the bar has been a little difficult) and Deadlifts). I do have The Barbell Prescription tagged in my list of wants on Amazon for purchase (again, thank you for the recommendation).

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Comments are welcome (and necessary, for good conversation). If you could take the time to be kind and not practice profanity, it would be appreciated. Thanks for posting!