No One Is Coming: A Reflection

Back somewhere amidst the 3800-odd entries to date (the Blogger search functionality is not great) I had written about the realization that I had made that no-one was coming - the reality was that I was effectively on my own, and no movement, state, party, or even any religious group had a particular interest in or need to notice and be involved with myself and my issues.  In the modern era, I was effectively on my own.

What I had not anticipated then - what I am finding now - is that in a very real way, it was preparing me for the last year:  The Plague, A Sort of Hammerfall, even the Ending of Social Media.

Part of it is simply the realization that people that were important have changed in their significance.  Before The Plague, I had several sorts of small groups I was a part of.  Over the course of the last year, those have really dwindled down to four - Iai, the shelter I volunteer at, my family, and those of you that read this blog - and a smaller series of one-to-one peer relationships based on service or friendship.  The rest have simply disappeared into the ether, whether by lack of engagement, effective cancellation of the activity or concern, or the discontinuation of the mediums whereby they existed (e.g. social media).

The importance of things has changed as well.  Yes, part of this was likely due to a change in the economy and the resulting concerns about job stability and part of this due to the fact that there was simply less places to go and thus less things to accumulate - but it is also as much due to the fact that a smaller world focus breeds a lesser need for things.  Arguably I have more time to engage in the things that I already have, or at least less of a need to engage in passing fancies.

Ironically through all of this, my world has become broad and narrow at the same time:  Broad in that my interests and knowledge of some matters has grown deeper and more focused; narrow in that such a focus has become about less and less.  A lot of the trivia has dropped out of my life over the last year; a lot of the interpersonal goings on - be they work or social - have disappeared.

The realization that no-one is coming - and the fact that The Plague has really reinforced this belief - has not turned out to be nearly as alienating or depressing as it might seem at first.  What it is creating is a focused, narrowed depth which finds itself less and less at the mercy or convenience of the world around it - a bonus, I would argue, in a world that I find myself increasingly distanced from.