What I had not anticipated then - what I am finding now - is that in a very real way, it was preparing me for the last year: The Plague, A Sort of Hammerfall, even the Ending of Social Media.
Part of it is simply the realization that people that were important have changed in their significance. Before The Plague, I had several sorts of small groups I was a part of. Over the course of the last year, those have really dwindled down to four - Iai, the shelter I volunteer at, my family, and those of you that read this blog - and a smaller series of one-to-one peer relationships based on service or friendship. The rest have simply disappeared into the ether, whether by lack of engagement, effective cancellation of the activity or concern, or the discontinuation of the mediums whereby they existed (e.g. social media).
The importance of things has changed as well. Yes, part of this was likely due to a change in the economy and the resulting concerns about job stability and part of this due to the fact that there was simply less places to go and thus less things to accumulate - but it is also as much due to the fact that a smaller world focus breeds a lesser need for things. Arguably I have more time to engage in the things that I already have, or at least less of a need to engage in passing fancies.
Ironically through all of this, my world has become broad and narrow at the same time: Broad in that my interests and knowledge of some matters has grown deeper and more focused; narrow in that such a focus has become about less and less. A lot of the trivia has dropped out of my life over the last year; a lot of the interpersonal goings on - be they work or social - have disappeared.
The realization that no-one is coming - and the fact that The Plague has really reinforced this belief - has not turned out to be nearly as alienating or depressing as it might seem at first. What it is creating is a focused, narrowed depth which finds itself less and less at the mercy or convenience of the world around it - a bonus, I would argue, in a world that I find myself increasingly distanced from.
Focusing on priorities with / for people who matter in your Life sounds like a good thing to me too. It does simplify your daily tasks.
ReplyDeleteWho I feel bad for are the individuals whose daily needs are far more important. My autistic son had a part time job (movie theatre) and an adult bowling league which gave him opportunities to meet and talk to people who weren't his family. Eating out at restaurants was the same. Autistics thrive on routine and going out was a large part of that.
But now with lock down, all of that has stopped. He is a bit withdrawn - or maybe he is just bored with his family. We try and draw him out as much as possible but it isn't the same. I am imagining many senior citizens are in the same position. Phone and email are the only contacts they have.
Anonymous - One of the real tragedies of this entire thing, no matter how one sees other parts of it, is the impact of the lockdowns on mental and physical health. We are probably only on the cusp of seeing what the impact has been and will be on generations to come across all ages, old and young. I can imagine this has been very difficult on your son.
DeleteI can tell you that it has been difficult on my parents as well. They are unable to visit really any of their friends as they mostly living in retirement communities. Depending on the extent of the lockdown, they were not able to go out to eat (and they are not the sort to really do take out). I have seen the weight it has put on them.
What would be useful after this whole exercise would be (that most rare of things) a non-partisan review of this entire thing to find what worked, what did not, and how to do it better. I do not think anyone can state that the lockdowns were impact free psychological, physically, or financially.
Thanks for commenting!
I've been pretty happy about losing a lot of trivial things in my life and simplifying it down to the basics. I am even glad a few "friends" sort of fell into that category and disappeared into the ether. It has allowed me to focus more on the friendships that really do matter and other things I have found important in my life.
ReplyDeleteEd, overall my experience has been the same as yours. I am working on being comfortable with letting those things go, not feeling as if I have failed to complete an action or let a relationship go unintentionally.
DeletePerhaps it’s a natural thing due to age?
ReplyDelete“The older I get, the more I realize the value of privacy,
Of cultivating your circle and only letting certain people in.
You can be open, honest and real while understanding not
Everyone deserves a place at the table of your life.”
- some dude on the internet
Possibly Glen - certainly time focuses the mind wonderfully.
DeleteThat said, I also think that the seeming made rush towards a loss of privacy in so many aspects of one's daily living makes the actual exercise of privacy where we can all that more important. Especially added is the fact that, in ways not visible in the West before, anything you say even amongst a small crowd can be used against you at a later date. It is certainly giving me more pause in who I engage, what I engage them with, and what I actually commit to speech or writing.
Well I think if we stick close to ASM and Borepatch... we can take a lot of steps toward our privacy and security. It just depends on what we are willing to give up in exchange...
DeleteAgreed Glen. I have been following their writings closely.
DeleteHonestly, the biggest gain to anyone's privacy at this point is leave the cities. A lot of the general surveillance is concentrated there - by, for example, homeowners with that darn "Ring" technology.
Who, or what, is ASM?
DeleteI've found myself "simplifying" Web contacts and time, examining who and what takes up space in my head, focusing on and enjoying the simple daily things, and getting into hands on goals hobbies and interests.
More so after the stolen election and police state theatre of inauguration.
Papa, ASM826 and Borepatch are both bloggers that are writing on security related issues at the moment at Borepatch's site - if I recall correctly, Borepatch at one time may have been in military communications. https://borepatch.blogspot.com/ He is a good critical thinker and highly recommended.
DeleteReally, I am viewing this as a time to simplify and focus as well. It is never time wasted.
Thanks for stopping by!
It will be a bit sad when we can no longer keep in touch. But I understand where you are coming from. Seen a lot of that in the last year in different ways.
ReplyDeleteBe safe and God bless.
Linda, it would be sad - if and when it comes to pass. The reality is that I am going to work to prevent that from happening, at least on my end. There are still methodologies to be employed.
DeleteYou be safe as well.
My email is on my blog bio if you ever want to chat that way. :)
DeleteThanks Linda.
DeleteIt is a good point: I should put it over on the sideline there.