This concept has become more relevant to me the older I get.
At some point (at least for me) I had a twofold realization. The first is that there is simply not enough room in my house for all the stuff I might desire. Certainly I could expand into the garage (already have to some extent) or get an outbuilding (never) or even rent a space (never times two) - but even then, I would simply have "stuff". It would not be stuff I used daily or even periodically; it would become stuff that was at best hauled out like seasonal decor and then put back for 11 months of the year.
The second realization has been as I have continued to sort through my parents' stuff. Yes, a lot of it is useful, but even then much of the stuff they kept was likely there for their own sentimental reasons. And while they received many years of use from it, in the end they are separated from it; my mother lives with literally nothing she had owned and the house slowly gets cleared out of all those things. Some of the things I know and recognize; others I have no idea of who they are associated with or where they come from.
It has made me take a hard look at my own life.
Books. I love books. I tend to buy books almost reflexively if I see them; it is only in the last year or so I have started asking "Why do I want this? What need does this fill in my library?" And looking at the remaining space, we are rapidly reaching the point where I have either perform a mass cleansing or limit my purchases to books I recognize a need for as reference.
And then I slowly work my way out from there into every aspect of my life.
If I were bitterly honest with myself, other than items that wear out such articles of clothing that cannot otherwise be repaired and "big ticket items" that are useful for modern living (a new roof, for example, comes to mind), I could go virtually the rest of my anticipated lifespan without needing anything else.
I say "need". But that is not the precise thrust of Socrates' quote. The real word is "enjoying". Or if one wanted a synonym I suppose, one could use "content", or even "joyful".
Perhaps the better question - beyond just recognizing the difference between a need and a want - is the question "How can I enjoy what I have without wanting more".
Or you can look beyond yourself towards a legacy.
ReplyDeleteThere is "Junk", yes. That I-Phone whatever will be junk beyond the now current communications technology (If we have technology vs chaos) but things of legacy value like a well adapted cabbage seed for your area and books on herbal medicines (again FOR your area) will be useful for your legacy.
Was Senecas old Mauser junk or legacy?
Certainly some items have more value than others, Michael - but that is true of many things I have owned. In this particular instance, it is more of a question for myself of seeking my happiness in desiring more (or shopping, the Western world's major therapy) or seeking to be happy with what I have or even less of what I have.
DeleteI suppose doing missionary work in 3rd world countries and listening to the Weimar Germany stories has warped me.
DeleteI collect few gimcracks. A memory item if the situation was worth remembering, like the damaged helmet from Bosnia.
I grew up wearing thrift store clothing. If real chaos interrupts our Amazon deliveries a lot of what I have in "excess" will be the thrift store for my children and grands.
I can partly understand as my beautiful bride often chides me for depression thinking. But she humors me as I also encourage her to enjoy beautiful moments.
Legacy, not my moment of bliss today.
Yes, that is the real question. It seems we humans are hardwired to want to accumulate stuff.
ReplyDeleteFor myself, I have to say that living at a "poverty" level income has helped tremendously. There's no sense wanting things that are financially out of reach (no matter how hard one tries to connive ways get them). The crossroads is the point of choice to either become angry and bitter about it, or accept it. Even so, impulse must constantly be dealt with (most effective for that is the gift of time.) And as you say, that gets somewhat easier with age.
Leigh, I suppose some of it is a combination of some sort of species memory of "Feast and Famine" and the fact that we connect "more" with "being more valuable or of value". Throughout history, the powerful and wealthy seldom lived simple lives.
DeleteOur downstep in economy has helped with this already. As you indicate, things that are out of reach no longer become possible and, willingly or grumpily, are let go. I will say that even in this gentle settling that we are going through (and we are by not means in any hardship), it is still hard adjusting to the fact that one simply has less to work with. I do worry that if and when things become economically more difficult, people will have a real struggle with this.
You are so right about having to adjust downward. I think it helped me that it was a deliberate choice and we'd been working on it for a long while. Having circumstances call for it would be much, much harder.
DeleteOurs was not a deliberate choice, but it has been a deliberate choosing since then (and continues to be, honestly).
DeleteMany years ago I reached the same conclusion with my books. Now I give them away as they are read except for a select few that I think might remain relevant for awhile. Meanwhile, I’m slowly thinning out those previously saved that have become irrelevant.
ReplyDeleteEd, that is a good strategy - sadly, I am not quite there yet, although one more good move may convince me more readily of the wisdom of your ways.
DeleteYah, time to winnow out books from the shelves. During the last decade I took a hard look at new clothes, wondered how long it might last and did I REALLY need it? Socks don't count, holes appear far too quickly with them....... :)
ReplyDeleteNylon12, I have enough shirts to literally last me the rest of my life in all kinds - dress, casual, t-shirts for fun. Jeans and socks are in a different category - as you say, they wear through - but overall I have little need for a new wardrobe likely within my lifetime, except for perhaps things like specific garments for hiking.
DeleteEverything is on the table now. I have a handshake deal on selling the house soon. I have a verbal hold on a place that will need a LOT of work to be usable. And I'm a "lunger" for all practical purposes. And sentimental. Not a good mix of time and proclivities.
ReplyDeleteRynn - Good news indeed. Hopefully all will go smoothly.
DeleteSentimentality hobbles my ability to actively get rid of things as well. I should think on that more - how do "things" have a grip on me if not for the memories?
Be happy with what you have is how I read it. :)
ReplyDeleteYou all be safe and God bless.