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One of the interesting things about participating in any sort of human association - work, religious group, volunteer, hobby - is that we are very often glazed vessels as we interact.
By "glazed vessels" I mean to say that we often present a hard shell of an image to the outer world and those we interact with. Part of that is undoubtedly self-protection of course; there is nothing worse than exposing one's inner core and having it savaged or mocked. But the other is a conscious choice: it is not something we do. There is a vague suggestion of societal impoliteness about the whole thing, whether it be inflicting ourselves on others or the idea that one simply does not impose one's own problems on others.
And so we clink off each other like marbles in a bag, a description I read long ago.
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The reality is that sometimes - through circumstances, odd comments, or simple observation, we learn more than we intend.
I am thinking of the moment of various coworkers I have that - although I officially do not "know" anything - know that they are going through significant life struggles and changes of their own. Were I to ask after it, it would of course be denied or laughed off as a temporary state of affairs. And yes from the report of those I trust and are "In the know" (as the kids say), the events and struggles are real.
Everyone, they say, is fighting a battle no-one knows anything of.
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I have to remind myself of this when situations arise and I become frustrated or even upset with them (and yes, even I can become frustrated or upset with people). I have to remind myself that sometimes they are reacting out of the place of their challenge or hurt or pain, that sometimes them showing up at all is a victory. I have to remind myself that separating the situation and the person is necessary: as I have commented to my adopted work children, I always love the person, I may not always love them in their role.
Which makes going out of my way to practice kindness even the more important. At the very least, I should not add to their load by my own behaviour; at the most, that one kindness may be the thing that helps them through day.
Likely those simple acts cost me little except inconvenience and perhaps dealing with my own issues of pride and always needing to be right. The benefit they provide may be immeasurable - after all, who among us knows if we are that one particular thread of kindness that day, perhaps the only one they may see?
Yes, sometimes, we are the only "Jesus" people will encounter. The word Christian,, means little Christs. IIRC a term of derision first coined in Acts. But it was embraced. His kindness sought reconciliation. Therefore, a smoking wick He didn't snuff out, a bent reed He didn't snap off. Gentle, kind...
ReplyDeleteSTxAR - I have to remind myself of being potentially the only "Jesus" folks experience in a day. I wish I had remembered this a lot more when I was younger; I fear I have done untoward damage to how some may see Him now.
DeleteAh yes, the workplace "bag o' marbles".......glad to be out of that....uh...environment. Good luck in remembering kindness, it's a fine goal to be considerate of others TB. The world would be a better place if more practiced kindness more often.
ReplyDeleteNylon12, when the time comes, I will surrender this portion of the experience without issue.
DeleteThe world really would be a better place if more people practiced kindness. I just wish more people believed and practiced it.
I always try to get to the point of "Is it a matter of principle, or does it even matter?" Most things don't matter, so allowing someone to feel good about themselves is nice.
ReplyDeleteJohn, that is a good way to look at it as well. The amount of things that do not matter in life in the long run are surprisingly vast.
DeleteGlazed pottery is a good analogy. Learning how to not the attitudes and actions of others personally is a difficult but useful lesson. It's difficult to maintain that objective observer's mode, however.
ReplyDeleteLeigh, it is hard to maintain that objectivity. It is even harder when one is tired or stressed, something which I often have to remind myself of.
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