Last week, as may have been readily apparent from my horribly formatted post yesterday (and for which I do apologize; the bug is apparently deeper than I could fix on my phone or my computer upon my return), I was traveling in the Near Abroad - in this case, to New Home.
The visit itself had been planned for some months, a two day seminar followed by a quick visit to Old Home. But fate - in the form of a typhoon - intervened: my Headmaster and my Sensei were unable to leave Japan.
I thought about canceling the trip but this development happened on Tuesday and I was scheduled to leave Wednesday. Making a change in the program seemed like too much effort at that point.
The oddest feeling I felt over the course of my three days there was a profound sense of homesickness.
This might surprise my long time readers, seeing as how I often found myself at odds with some things (largely, the weather of course). And yet, I left with a feeling both that I missed large aspects of being there and yes, there is a world in which I could see us retiring back there.
Part of that is driven by the fact that I easily fit back into the people and activities I had done before, if only briefly. Part of that is driven by the fact that likely that will be where Nighean Dhonn and The Fiancé make their long term home (and quite likely, the most likely to have grandchildren). Part of it is, financially, it would make a lot of sense to be there with a paid off home and much lower taxes.
But I wonder if part of it is the sale of The Ranch.
I think it is reasonable to say that I had fixated on being in a single place - The Ranch - so long that it had come to crowd out any other possibilities. Now that the possibility is gone beyond reach, other possibilities present themselves.
The fact that I felt homesick a bit surprised me; if you remember from this past Christmas, I very much felt like a stranger in a house that was formerly mine (well, technically still is). What changed? If nothing else, the fact that one door closed - for good.
It does leave the future open for some possibilities I had not anticipated. It is good to know that one can still be pleasantly surprised, even in the midst of life transitions.





Thanks for answering the question "what happens to uprooted roots when they re-root briefly". That second photo reminds me of something I read on the InterNets yesterday.... Coffee, because you can't drink bacon......:)
ReplyDeleteNylon12 - What an insightful comment, uprooted roots that briefly re-root. It has given me a lot to think about.
DeleteAh, but coffee and bacon together in the same meal? Paradise.
'tis Margaret (TB) you're grieving
ReplyDeleteThank you Margaret. I had not thought of it that way, but once I read your words it made complete sense.
DeletePerhaps it's too many changes too close together. Even welcome changes can be stressful.
ReplyDeleteSomething, some place familiar is comforting.
DeleteI wonder, Leigh. Maybe they are things buried far below the surface as I was not "conscious" of them. At least on a surface level, I feel like I have accepted and "moved on". Perhaps not so much as I would like to believe.
ReplyDelete