I do not learn as much from sorrow as I probably should.
To me sorrow is usually something to be rushed through, a sort of waypoint at best on a trip to a destination that is ever, always, somewhere else. Part of it, I suppose, is due to a personality that can be ebullient almost to the point of psychosis at times. Part of it is likely due to the fact that I simply do not like to be sad.
I suspect I have missed something in the process.
If I had to think of some of the greatest times of learning I have had, they have come about as part of sorrow, even if I did not recognize it as such: Sorrow about the loss of a parent. Sorrow about the loss of dreams. Sorrow about the loss of relationships that seem to simply fade away rather than fulfilling the potential that they had.
Even something as simple, it seems, as the loss of a beloved pet.
Why does sorrow offer us this? I do not wonder it is of a similar sentiment to that of C.S. Lewis, who noted in The Problem of Pain "God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our consciences, but shouts in our pain; it is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world." Sometimes there is simply no other way to get our attention than by pain - or sorrow. But if in pain God seeks to rouse us, perhaps in sorrow He means us to take stock of our situation and treasure all those things we have all the more tightly.
How often have we sought out closer family communication after a beloved relative dies, hugged our children (or pets) closer, or taken stock of all the good things we do have in our lives because sorrow came through grief or loss? When these things happen, do we not almost instinctively look to the good we still have instead as well as the good we have lost?
Is that the only lesson sorrow might hold? I suspect not; likely it is different for different people. But sorrow - at least for me - drives to what I have that is still good, even as I mourn what is past.
I have not often sought that pearl in midst of my pain. It appears I need to look for it more closely.
Guessing for many the pain of Sorrow masks whatever Good can be found, for a few the pain is overwhelming.
ReplyDeleteI often confuse Sorrow with Regret. The first is knowing I am going to miss the departed. The second is knowing I could have treated that missing piece / person better than I should. If Regret is worse than Sorrow, then I knew I made a mistake.
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