Bookshelf Of Wonders

 "Look at this stuff,
Isn't it neat?
Wouldn't you think my collection's complete?
Wouldn't you think I'm a girl,
A girl who has everything?

- Ariel, The Little Mermaid

One of the first things I did when our stuff arrived - beyond unpacking clothes to give my wardrobe something other than "seven shirts only" look - was unpack some books. Part of this was strategic:  I needed something to anchor the base of the bookshelves. Part of it was personal:  I felt like I needed to have some evidence of my books being present.

As I sat there on my couch, looking at my one full bookshelf (the history/literature shelf), I was overcome with a sense of wonder.  

The wonder, as I thought about it, came from two areas.  The first is that having read works of ancient history which quote works of ancient history that are lost to us, I was overcome with the wonder of the fact that I simply have so much information at my fingertips.  Saying "I have more knowledge at my fingertips that The Library of Hadrian in Athens (which I have been to)" seemed a little over the top, but the fact that all of the works exist in my position certain gives me a leg up on 99% of the population up to the mid-19th or 20th century, when books began to be more commonly available.

The second area came from the fact that it was if I had seen these books again for the first time.

The bulk of these books have been in my possession for years - the earliest ones on this shelf since 1989 (A History of The Crusades by Sir Steven Runciman0 and Osprey Publishing's The Normans, both which date from my time in Ireland.  These books have gathered and sat on this bookshelf, which was near the entry of our house in New Home.  I have walked by them thousands of times without giving them more than passing thought unless I was looking for a specific one.

Now, it is like I see each and every one of them for the first time.  I am reminded that in some cases it has been years since I opened some of these up to read.  

I am also reminded that I could never purchase another book again and still read for years.

Look at this trove

treasures untold

How many wonders can one cavern hold?

Lookin' around here you'd think,

Sure, she's got everything.

If I think deeply enough about it, I realize that I have allowed my life what this microcosm of books represent:  a series of acquisitions and desires for things that I do not own yet, but somehow am convinced that I should.  I justify the need in my mind - I will benefit from this, I will somehow be better/more knowledgeable/"in-sync" if I have this or that.  And too often I acquire the thing, use it once or twice, and then it goes into the closet or onto the shelf, a trophy to be looked at and admired.

I would like to be able to blame "the world" of course, as the world has created a system where nothing is good enough for us except the thing that we do not own.  And that is part of it - but a larger part of it is myself.  If I am honest, I am the gaping maw that cannot be satisfied. I continually "need" things.  

I confuse "need" with "want" more often than imagine.

I've got gadgets and gizmos a plenty

I've got whozits and whatzits galore.

You want thingamabobs?  

I've got twenty.

but who cares,

no big deal,

I want more.

Is there anything wrong with wanting things?  Not at all.  Desiring a thing can motivate us to work hard to achieve it.  Some things we want are things we will use a great deal.  And owning things is not, in and of itself, a bad thing.  I suspect the issue comes when owning them makes them nothing more than the aforementioned trophies on a shelf.

I cannot swear that I will never by another book. But I can swear that I will think long and hard before I do and the reason behind why I am buying it.  And I do fully intend to re-read everything I own.  After all, gathering knowledge without using it is just as bad as not having it at all.