I had posted this originally two years ago but having reflected on comments from my conscious stating of goals had brought it back to my mind.
Because it is already happening.
I have started making some tentative - very tentative steps in this direction to more fully embrace what I have chosen: choosing activities that relate to God, Iai, Strength, Japanese, small things to move a career forward, or gardening above other things that I could do.
The results have been rather surprising.
The more I make such choices, the more those things become real, the more small ways I find to exercise them, the more effort I almost accidentally seem to put out.
I had not anticipated this. I have tried such focus activities in the past without result. This time, something seemed to change.
Or perhaps, finally, I did.
It makes sense. When you are a smoker and decide to quit 'For Reals This Time', quitting becomes much easier. When people tell you to quit, it sometimes works, but more often then not, it doesn't. Only when YOU commit does action take place. That may be why you are noticing such quick results.
ReplyDeleteI used to be a medium smoker (pack / 2 days) but when my wife was pregnant with our son, she pointed out children sometimes develop asthma in homes of smokers. Faced with that, I quit cold turkey after the last one and surprisingly, I did not feel like I needed a cigarette. For several weeks, upon waking did I reach for my lighter than realized I did not smoke any more. That was Spring 1998 and I've been smoke free since.
I hope your goals are reached quickly.
Anonymous - First of all, congratulations! I have known smokers that it took years to quit - far too long in some cases.
DeleteYou are right, of course. Commitment is the difference, and real commitment not "I am going to do something about it this time. Really."
Thank you for stopping by!
I find if I talk about things enough, I am forced to proceed or face embarrassing questions later.
ReplyDeleteEd, it is interesting. If you read "The Literature", you will find two schools of thought. The first is not tell anyone and just make the commitment internally because one ends up spending more time doing things outwardly to appear to make progress than to make progress. The other, as you state, is star telling everyone you are doing it and take action or facing the questions.
DeleteI have to say given both, the second seems to be more successful. If I have to invest money to do it, so much the better, because then I need to do it or lose the money as well.
Interesting.
ReplyDeleteIn the post you link to you said, "The real question, of course, is if I can commit." An observation I have made during some of the most difficult times in my life, is that grace follows faith. I'm defining faith here as an action (obedience) not belief. The human tendency is to want to wait on grace before acting, but I have learned that we've got that backwards. We may "try" something to see what happens, but trying isn't the same as doing. When we walk in conviction of our actions (obedience), grace follows.
So even though you see your steps as tentative, perhaps you are viewing yourself or you goals differently? I do know it's encouraging when those changes happen!
Leigh - Your distinction is a good one (and, frankly, one I had not thought of in that light before). Trying is not the same as doing - although trying often precedes doing. If I had to analyze myself, I probably "try" things far longer than I should instead of moving more quickly to the "doing".
DeleteI think - at least for me - the act of actively choosing to do some and set others aside is what may have moved the needle for me. Now, instead of wandering around with 50 options of "I should do what next?", I have a much more limited scope. "Here are the five areas; what falls into those."
It is very encouraging, almost giddily so.
Not my place to say anything, TB. You are doing what is right for you and good on ya.
ReplyDeleteJust don't give up the good stuff. ;)
Oh agreed, Glen. That is always part of the challenge - after all, I have also met the specialists and one-interest ponies in life, and they are often no fun at all! It is always a balance.
DeleteI have come to this conclusion as well. I wish that I had the wherewithal to have arrived independently to it. But I'm at the bus stop regardless.
ReplyDeleteMy favorite combat vet said you really can't fight unless you consider yourself as dead already. Then, decisions are effortless. I consider that the infinite limit on the integral. If you are trying to salvage the old to bring into the new, you will lose them both.
This post is a confirmation. It made a bouquet of random, related thoughts, that need a context to provide illumination and clarity. THANK YOU.
Behold, all things are become new...
STxAR, you are more than welcome. And for arriving here on my own - oh no my friend, I was dragged kicking and screaming to this point by One stronger than I.
DeleteRecall that in Christ the old man has died and that all thins are new. In that sense, we Christians are indeed as dead men.