Approximately a month ago I completely dropped of The Book of Face.
It was a choice, but a sort of accidental one. An acquaintance had posted something, intending to get a rise of the readers. It got a rise out of me. And then I sat there, looked at it, and asked "Why am I doing this?"
To be fair, over the last few years I maintained an account with pictures largely for the purposes of showing my parents what was going on in my life. With the change in my parents' status, that has no longer become a reason at all.
So I stopped going back for a day. Then two, then five, then fifteen. And now, almost a month.
The odd thing - the surprising thing - is not how much I have not missed it (I have not), but how much it seems to have gone completely unnoticed. Not one question or contact about if I am "doing okay" or "have gone off the deep end" - not that I am so fragile I need someone asking after me to justify my existence, but an interesting note none the less.
To be fair, I have not completely abandoned Social Media - I have an Instapicture account which I occasionally post pictures to (being picture driven, it seems far less prone to the sorts of silliness on The Book of Face) and continue to use The Book of Face messenger app, which is a way I primarily communicate with at least three people (and which, when Nighean Gheal was abroad, was a financial life saver). But there is little enough time spent on it now, less than the tooth brushing event that happens twice a day.
It is a bit inconvenient of course, as virtually every organization has transferred itself to The Book of Face and so I am not getting updates or event notifications. At this point, I think, that is a trade off I am willing to make.
The next step - once this has settled in as a habit and not a struggle - is to begin going through, collecting the old pictures, and slowly deleting my way through my profile. The pictures, I value. Less so everything that goes along with them.
For The Book of Face, of course, my absence means nothing. I am a drop in a bucket - but in one sense, an important one. I alone by leaving cannot change anything, but I as one many leaving - that is the sort of thing that at some point, like gravity, will assert itself.
Ask MySpace how that works.
Well if you get some real use out of it, use it as a tool and don’t sweat it. It’s only a problem when it starts using you…
ReplyDeleteGlen, that may be where I end up. Although I have to admit that not having the constant wash of people's life in my face is, an introvert, a bit refreshing.
DeleteAfter three or four suspensions for supporting Trump and many other conservatives during the election season I got so frustrated that I gave it up . Now I only go to use the marketplace function and that is even quite tricky as they sometimes won't let me post farm animals for sale . It all depends on the watchers mood . Do they really think folks raise critters with no intention to ever sell them ? I'm sometimes glad that Gawd made Suckerburg so damned ugly . He deserves it .
ReplyDeleteRobert, the reality is that as Facebook continues to practice what is effectively censorship, they will find that they are limiting their market. Perhaps they are fine with that, but were I an investor I would question the wisdom of that policy.
DeleteI have some friends that have experienced problems similar to yours. They ended up moving to another platform - perhaps MeWe? - to allow them to operate their farming business.
I dropped off that years ago. I've tried to login and it's been so long they instantly lock down my account for suspected intrusion.
ReplyDeleteOne leaving isn't a problem for them, but it will be a boon for you. More time, less aggravation... It's like having inflammation fade away, more energy for life and living...
Having an application notify you of a post by someone you care for is nice. The rest of it is too intrusive.
That is interesting STxAR. I have not been off that long, but I wonder what that point will be.
DeleteAgreed that it adds all kind of time to one's life - and less checking. It is also, at least for me, a good way to focus on the life I have at hand and reflect on how surprisingly dependent I am on the opinions of others.
On the whole, I am probably more interested in pictures of people I care about more than anything else at this point.
I've never used FB and have no desire to. I did use Twitter for a time (begun as a way to track a niece's semester in Australia), but had an "incident" with a relative there and came to a similar conclusion as yours. "Why am I wasting time arguing with someone about something so trivial?" I rarely ever go there anymore. I do love Instagram, but use it as a way to share (with a limited few people) photos of things I find interesting or beautiful in the world around me. I've rarely posted a photo that included a human being. I think of it as my "happy place".
ReplyDeleteKelly, I originally used it like many people did: to find people I used to know and then (going forward) connecting with people I met in the various things I did. The funny thing I found - perhaps not so funny as "not surprising" - is that for the people I used to know, there was a reason I no longer kept in touch and for the newer folks, enjoying their company and enjoying their lives were two differently things.
DeleteInstagram is better for pictorial sharing and seems a great deal less "disagreeable" - or perhaps just the fact I am less connected there.
I have had a Twitter account in the past but not for years now - Twitter just seems like a good way to get one's self in trouble any more.
Download all your pictures and delete your account.
ReplyDeleteDeleting is harder than one might imagine.
There are step by step instructions across the interwebs.
I'm sure your information will be way more permanent than you would like it to be, but at least you won't be supporting Zuck.
Just So, no matter what, that is likely a great deal of where I will end up. It will be a bit of a pain for the time, but if I am not really "using" it, it just becomes another dangling participle to cut off.
DeleteAs for me, I have never been on any social media. Had a bare-bones LinkedIn account back when I was employed, and haven't logged into that for at least two years. An email account and an occasional blog comment are enough for me. I don't want to be constantly available to people, or have any interest in their minute-to-minute updates about their lives. If someone wants to contact me, they have to make the minimal effort of a phone call, email or a personal visit, and likewise. Probably makes me a crusty old antisocial curmudgeon to most people. Oddly, I am fine with that.
ReplyDeleteNM - I, too, used to have a Linked Out account once upon a time. It may have been - when it started - a useful tool for business; now I found it to largely be a combination of personal bragging, virtue signaling, and a way to have your professional life spied on. I canceled mine over a year ago and suspect I will never restart it; my intent is no matter what my next job is, it will not be one that needs Linked in .
DeleteI agree firmly with your principle of phone call/e-mail/visit/text philosophy. One of the great realizations was that when I have removed myself from this kind of social media, there has virtually been no follow up. One friend I "speak" with via Messenger daily, two others via Messenger or text weekly. I have one or two friends that reach out only via e-mail. Oddly enough I have a single friend that might call (one of Messenger ones), otherwise I use the phone only for making appointments.
And yes, I am finding I am okay with it as well.
Although I'm an active reader on the platform, I'm not an active poster. I admit during the last election cycle I seriously debated just giving it up but I do get quite a bit of utility from it. Specifically, it has become THE choice of website many businesses/organizations have so without an account, I miss out on things that I enjoy such as pop up musical performances and other things. My family is also so scattered, it is nice to visually see them from time to time in pictures when my other choice is just hearing a voice from time to time.
ReplyDeleteWhat you describe Ed - the organizational and family aspects, as well as the interest group aspects - are what give me pause. I do know that there are ways all of that can be remedied. That said, at the moment I am going through a bit of reluctance to countenance even that. Not sure where it is coming from.
DeleteI enjoy the interaction and the photos on FB but hate the discord and posturing. You're right that many organizations now use it as a primary way of communication though. It can be tricky. When I've taken a FB break a few people have noticed but not as many as I would have expected. Sigh. For now, I'll hold on to it though.
ReplyDeleteMargaret, I think the interaction and photos is one reason I find Instagram more enjoyable. The medium is set up to discourage long conversations which include disagreements.
DeleteOne thing at least one organization I belong to does is have a smaller contact group on another medium. Of course, one of our members is an IT person so it is not at all a problem to maintain (more so for me). One wonders if at some point, an organizational version of The Book of Face makes more sense to organizations that want to dispense with the difficulties of disagreement altogether.
To be fair, I had been tailing my postings and The Ravishing Mrs. TB still posts (so perhaps some realize I am not dead) - but yes, the lack of questioning my absence is interesting.
Thank you for stopping by!