In re-reading old reviews, one gets the somewhat dubious privilege of reliving the past, both good and bad. To read the words of the review is, at least for me, to relive the entire situation. In returning to my review of 2019, I can feel the strain and stress of the days (and nights), the anxiety that punctuated almost every day, the tensing of my muscles and my inner core every time I saw a number from a certain person come up on my phone or a name flash up in my e-mail box.
It helps in at least it makes re-reading the review more real of a process.
It is understood (of course) that I cannot quote from the review verbatim as it involves both confidential information as well as remaining the property of my current employer. But I can at least give the themes of my failures:
- Failure in Thoroughness and Planning
- Failures in Communication
- Failures in Decision Making
- Failures in Leadership
In the above four, the failures in communication struck me the most as I reviewed them - after all, I consider myself to be a good communicator and at least perceived my communications to be straightforward and understood. Or at least, that was the feedback I thought I was getting. At this point I cannot truly parse out if it was my failure or the failure of those that I expected to communicate for me, but the damage was done and failure noted. Assume I am not a good communicator and learn to communicate accordingly.
Failures in thoroughness, planning, and decision making - these are not so much of a surprise only because I do not perceive to be that good at any of these activities. Decision making is a long time struggle with me as I simply do not like to commit or cut out options. Planning for me is often an exercise in "what is on fire now", which given the situations I often find myself in, is the only rational way to operate (but not the best way). Thoroughness in actions relates to understanding what the decision is (decision making) and then all the actions to be done to implement it (planning) - so again, no real surprise there.
Failures in leadership. I never really sought out leadership or deeply desired it, except as an exercise in financial gain. I have worked for good leaders and poor leaders and admit that sometimes my leadership style looks a lot more like "lead from the front and be in the ranks" rather than the "divine leadership" theory so often popularized. Perhaps I need to define my leadership style more appropriately and publicly - what I can say is that from those that worked for me, never once has anyone said the style was bad (one of my original hires at my current company gave me the ultimate compliment: I was the first really good boss she had).
So what do I do with all of these points of failure? I cannot simply collapse into a heap over them as if they were 100% true (very few things are 100% true), but neither can I just write them off as an irritate superior who failed to understand the situation.
The truth, I believe, lies somewhere in the middle, where I simply take the comments at face value, compare them against my current practices, and then make a plan to address them. At worst, this simply means getting more training and skill at something I already had. At best, this true addresses the gap that exists and I am unwilling or unable to see.
Like the bad spot in an apple, sometimes the best measure is simply to address the soft spots by dealing with them and then enjoy the rest of the apple.
One other thing you might consider: Rewriting the review to strip the identity a bit. Then if you consider it worth the time, take it to someone you trust and ask them how they would advise the person that got these comments by their manager. Alternatively, you can dig around on the web to find something that addresses what you want to work on. We had a few things available to us when I was at work. Like online libraries of books for self study. Not sure if your org has that or not.
ReplyDeleteI'd also add that if you have already come to grips with what was written, then go forth and prosper. I had a tendency to hang onto criticism too long, and it became a millstone around my neck. Always seeking to prove myself wasn't a very good trait. I invested too much in performing for people that had no use for me and never would.
I'm praying for discernment and direction for you.
This is quite a smart approach STxAR.
DeleteThank you. Now that I am disabled and mostly just a speed bump on the road to the future, things are so much clearer! I'll keep the compliment handy and use it for encouragement when I need it!
DeleteSTxAR - In a way your advice is exactly what I am doing: by posting it and generalizing it, I am at least able to write about it and consider it at some level of arm's length. I am going back and reviewing some books (what a surprise: I have books) that address the issue.
DeleteAnd yes, I hang on to criticism far too long as well. I struggle to separate "improving myself" from "proving myself" to those proverbial geniuses that really do not care.
Anonymous - STxAR is a true fount of wisdom. He always has the best comments.
DeleteHmffffffppppffff.
ReplyDeleteTB are you sure these critiques are objective? Just looking at it, if I were a CEO or division head looking at that review, my question would be "Why did you promote him then?"
I'd run all that past the old lady if I were you...
Managers get to know our hot-buttons, and how to wreck our self-confidence and future careers if they choose. Sometimes I wonder if they do this subtly, because they see us as a potential threat or perhaps they were just abused children.
DeleteI have a tendency to take this sort of criticism to heart, and beat myself up over it - sometimes for years. One day I realised it is simply that manager's OPINION, and they are fallible human beings. For all I know, they have just had a crappy review from THEIR manager or had a spat with their wife or husband and are subconsciously passing "the love" down the chain. I have learned to take the good bits and smile, the neutral & negative bits as areas to improve if I can, and then let it go. Did you get disciplined or praised ? Life is too dang short to care too much about the opinions of others. Are you good at your profession? Did you genuinely earn your salary ? Yes & yes ? Well-done you. But real life begins when you clock off. THAT is much more important.
Cheers,
KA
Glen - You raise a great point of course: how does one go from "promotable" to "loser" in a year without that somehow reflecting on the person doing the promoting. In that sense, perhaps my reorganization was a balance to that.
DeleteKA - Usually I am pretty even keeled about my reviews and on the whole, have had good ones. This one was an outlier, although I had one or two at my previous company - where some of the same elements played out, I suspect.
DeleteYou are right, of course: They only ever represent one person's view of more less a fixed point in time and people are just as fallible. And yes, it matters more to consider what happens outside the job (except, of course, to the extent that the job funds what is outside the job).
The corporate review process is in many ways a joke and results are based on the person conducting the review and rating the employee. When I started managing people, I decided I would take the reviews seriously and I spent a lot of time on them. I tediously considered whether a person was "meeting expectations" or "exceeding expectations." To me, a person who meets expectations does a great job and the person who exceeds expectations is rare. But over the years, people have become upset and have come to me and asked why I did not say they exceeded expectations. And the pay increases I am able to give are based on those ratings. So now I spend much less time on it. If a person is doing a good job, I say they are exceeding expectations so I can give them the best raise possible. And this makes it a joke. And I'm over it.
ReplyDeleteThis is your review from 2019 if I am reading correctly. I assume there have been subsequent reviews? Were they any different?
Bob, I have the same observations from when I wrote reviews as well. Over time how companies view "meets expectations" and "exceeds expectations" has changed. The worst, of course, is the "bell curve", where only X% of employees can ever "exceed expectations", which then becomes a battle between managers and HR about who really "exceeded expectations". The funny thing (to me) is that employees know all about this; it devalues the review process accordingly. I have not had to do a review for an employee in two years; I do not miss it.
DeleteIt was my 2019 review. My two following reviews have been solid "meets expectations" with elements of "exceeds expectations" - and knowing my boss, when he writes "exceeds", he means it.
Humility is the key. And also, remember few people care about any of us enough for us to take it personal.
ReplyDeleteIndeed John - reminded of that very thing again today. And yes, I am sure that I am effectively a footnote in work history and company history. The only one that has clung on to it all this time is me.
DeleteI found your comments on failure of leadership especially interesting. I generically think of leadership from two approaches, bossing people around, or leading by example. Nobody likes to be bossed around, but I have always had respect for those who lead by example, and I'm much more willing to go the extra mile for such a person. However, it never occurred to me that certain leadership styles are taught by business for management. I wonder if they ever critique the effectiveness of the methods they are trying to utilize? I know in Dan's former industry (trucking) they didn't, and the blame was placed in the wrong places, which led to ineffective corrections.
ReplyDeleteAnd that leads me to an observation and a thought. These evaluations were of you for a specific function for a specific company. That isn't you as a total person, it's just you in the role you agreed to take on in exchange for financial compensation. Their expectations are to meet their goals, not yours. I suspect under different circumstances and in different aspects of your life, the reviews would be quite different.
Leigh - The practice of modern leadership is a rather vast pool in which the principles seem to eclipse the results. In principle, the "in-vogue" methodology is a kinder, gentler, more inclusive leadership. I can assure you that too often when push comes to shove, that form of leadership falls from the tree faster than an overripe apple and "traditional" version of "we are doing this my way" reappears. Too often, in too many ways, modern leadership maintains a link to its predecessor, that of raw power exercised of others, sometimes beneficially, sometimes not.
ReplyDeleteOn the whole of my career, I have had very good leadership and the assessment of work has been positive - of the 20 + years that I have been getting annual reviews, I believe I have only had "negative" reviews once or twice. In some cases, a change in the management changed the review - to your point that it is a specific company and a specific person. The difficulty, of course, is that one bad review goes on your permanent company record and is the basis whereby things like increases and bonuses are generated. That is where the real sting comes in that is harder to get over.
When I started in the industry, I had leaders that led from the front. In my other practices, generally I have had the same. This is the kind of leadership I respect and the one I try to emulate. Or to quote the Spartan Brasidas son of Tellus, ""Make no show of cowardice then on your part, seeing the greatness of the issues at stake, and I will show that what I preach to others I can practice myself".