Thursday, February 18, 2021

Update And Circumstance

 Update:  Another not great day.  My sister received a call at around 0630. They thought my father had a seizure - a nurse thought she caught the tail end of it but was not sure.  He had a second one later in the day, observed by a doctor and nurse.  He is now on antibiotics to help with potential infection from any infection (apparently this can happen when liquid from the stomach or food gets into the lungs).  He has been moved into the ICU.

They attempted the Lumbar Penetration but he would not co-operate (like an epidural injection, the patient must remain completely still).  They will try again tomorrow but they needed our permission to sedate him - which, of course, we readily gave.  The doctor hopes that it will tell them something - it sounds like he is just as confused as we are.  He will consult with another colleague.  He remains unresponsive or asleep, but this may be caused by 1) his condition; 2) the after effects of the seizure; or 3) the anti-seizure medication, which has drowsiness as a side effect.

I talked with The Ravishing Mrs. TB today.  I was intending to go home in about a week and half, but will stay here as long as it takes until things are settled out, one way or the other.

Also as a note, I have now started compiling these series of writings into a separate page, Moving TB The Elder and Mom, as a way segregating and filing what has come to be an ongoing exercise.


By way of introduction on this meditation, if you are at all follower of this blog for more than a year, you will  recall that approximately one year ago, I underwent an inadvertent and unplanned job transition (called A Sort of Hammerfall) in which I was transferred from the career field I had spent the last 18 years in to a completely new one (Project Management), with the resulting loss of job title and reporting structure (I went from a "manager of people" to "the managed").  

It was initially a shock, of course, something I had not ever planned on.  And through the intervening months to June, I negotiated the "Work At Home" order in March, the hiring of my replacement in June, and then the complete change in how work "worked" for me in July.

Now, I am looking through things with a different lens.

Without Hammerfall, I would not have been in a position to work from home as I am now.  Without changing my position, I would not have been able to work remotely - The Ranch remote - one week a month.  Without working remotely, I would not been here  over the last six months to spend time with my parents or even now when I needed to be for an extended period of time. Without working remotely and being able to come, I would not have been here now but somewhere buried in ice and snow trying to make my way here.

Without The Plague, I would not have been ordered to work from home nor have the freedom to come here.  Without The Plague, I would be in Japan (or just coming back) instead of here to help.

That is a lot of circumstances arising from a single event that took place a year ago.  Almost as if there was a Hand at work, knowing what was coming in the future.

I am trying to have a wider view of things as a result.  The first thing that has come to mind, frankly, is being out here for a longer period of time.

At home, I really have four or five activities that are my life:  Iai, Weight Training, volunteering at my local rabbit shelter, my prayers and reading, writing, and whatever I languages I happen to be studying (currently Japanese and Old English).  A great many other things have become curtailed as a result of The Plague, of course - church attendance for one, and Highland Athletics for another.  

But now, those things are being interrupted too.  I practice Iai and train when we have remote classes, but that is not every session.  I train, but with body weights inside (trust me, my coach is no less brutal for the lack of weights).  I simply cannot be at the rabbit shelter (I do miss them mightily).  My other activities all stay with me, of course - I can take those with me wherever I go. 

Maybe, as if my hand is being asked to release, instead of being forced.

It would be, of course, arrogant of me to assume that anything of the sort is happening.  But I do recall the quote of Corrie Ten Boom, "Hold everything in your hands lightly, otherwise it hurts when God pries your fingers open."


  1. I will freely admit I may be looking through rose colored glasses but over the years, when I look at bad things that happened in my life, there were always good things that happened as a result of that bad thing. I've lost jobs and gotten better ones. I left my last job with no real plan for life only to have my mom diagnosed with a terminal disease and I was able to cram a decades worth of time into those two short years she had. Like you to some extent, I am not trying to manage the farm and my dad's affairs as he runs from his loss and grief. All things I wouldn't have been able to do if I hadn't quit a job out of frustration.

    I have to ask, a rabbit shelter? Is this a euphemism like Hammerfall? Where I come from, rabbits are a bit like flies. They are everywhere and generally a nuisance. Back in the day, we used to eat them but now even eating them has fallen out of favor so they just multiply like there is no tomorrow and destroy any young plant, tree or shrub they can find until the coyote population keeps them in check.

    1. Ed, I think that is true to a larger extent than perhaps I like to admit in my life as well. I can sometimes get caught in the traction of the moment - thus the realization that things happening a year ago impacted my life (for the better) now.

      Actually, rabbit shelter is not a euphemism. House Rabbits (Rabbits kept as pets) are actually the third most abandoned animal after dogs and cats. People get them because they think "Easter bunny". Rabbits are great indoor pets, but not everyone wants one when they get them - they are a 9-12 year commitment (like cats or dogs). I volunteer at a shelter that either gets surrenders or lost rabbits and gives them a home until they can find their forever home.

      For me, rabbits are great pets. Just as intelligent as cats or dogs. They have personalities. And they are no harder to care for than any other pet.

  2. I had known that Ten Boom quote so long, I thought I owned it. It is a great way of managing life. Enjoy everything to the full, and hold it lightly.

    Thank you for writing while you are living this. Lab notes at the time of discovery are priceless.

    1. Indeed STxAR. When I find my way out this, I need revisit Miss Ten Boom. I think she has more things to say to me.

  3. Not arrogant. Maybe you are just listening better?

    Perhaps a step in moving there, to the Ranch, is to start a rabbit shelter of your own? You could research requirements, if such is needed there.
    Or an animal rescue.

    Just thinking out loud.

    Praying for you all, TB. God bless.

    1. Maybe Linda. I have become a little more reluctant to "assume" I know where things are headed.

      Thanks for the prayers.

  4. I am afraid I replied on your other post.
    But I will add this, if possible to my reading list.
    *hugs* and God bless you all, TB.

    1. Linda, if you have not read Corrie Ten Boom I strongly recommend her. She and her family sheltered Jews during WW II. She and her family were sent to the concentration camps; much of her family died. She has a powerful testimony

  5. If your doctor is confused, time to find another doctor. I had a specialist tell me to go home and die because there was nothing else he could do for me. I found another doctor who diagnosed correctly and cured me.

    1. Tewshooz, I truly believe it to be a case of "we really do not know". All of his lab work and tests are coming back normal. Hopefully the spinal tap will show us something new.

      On the bright side, I am glad you found a second opinion!

  6. I see you’ve got the fire going! And a book. And a coffee. I’d add an oil or kerosene lamp for ambience...or maybe one of my reasonably priced Trash Candles?😎

    Good work! They are justly earned rewards. Your mom and dad would be pleased. How’s your Sis doing?

    1. Glen, I have been reasonably successful with the fire. Sort of unjustifiably proud of myself! We do have kerosene lamps here as well, although Heaven knows the last time they were lit. Sadly, I fear tariffs would make your candles unaffordable to those of us in Baja Canada.

      My sister is doing okay. I think we are buoying each other up at the moment. I say that - we still have a long row to hoe, I think.


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