Impatience And Planning

I am not a patient man.

I am not sure where "patience" really originates from.  Surely there is a genetic element - there are people that are patient just by nature - and there is a taught element as well - the "delayed gratification" training that all of us undergo at some point in our lives, some of us more successfully than others.

Sadly, I seem not to be one of the patient people.

Part of patience is having a course of action and sticking to it - a plan, as it were.  Here again, I seem to have fallen on my faces more times than not.  This is less of a genetic issue - I think - and more of an issue stemming from the few times I had a plan and it completely did not work out, thereby reinforcing the rule (at least in my head) that plans fail as often as they succeed.  The issue is, of course, is that plans can be carried out for years at a time and to have them fail, sometimes at the last second, is as painful as it is apparently instructive.  You learn not to plan, at least not long or far, because you have learned that failure is more likely than success.

At the same time, you reach a point in your life - maybe it is different for all people, mine seems to be pretty much now - where you simply have to select a plan and stick to it.  In my case, it is likely because my options to get where I actually want to be are fairly limited and the only way for them to succeed is for to me pick a plan and set aside the other options.

But a plan means patience.  And I am not very good at patience.

I easily become bored.  I become discouraged, especially when I feel that I am alone in trying to implement the plan.  And the next thing you know, I have fallen off the Plan Wagon and am back to sitting in the mud, watching the wagon roll on without me.

So I will draw up The Plan again, and prepare to stick within its guidelines.  If it fails - well, at least I know I gave it all the time and effort it I could.