This last Friday we had our annual "Feel Guilty About Interacting With Your Fellow Employees" Training (otherwise known as Harassment Training - so called because after we are done, no-one really wants to talk to anyone else for fear they are going to offend).
I will not discuss the general thrust of it - remember, we do not do politics here - but two points of interest came up which struck me as new from previous years.
The first was the question about "Happy Hours" or other after hours events which are not sponsored by a company but to which company employees attend. Is this something where the employee and employer are potentially liable? Turns out, may be - if supervisors and employees are present, the chances become greater.
The second was a statement about social media and the Internet - we were informed (per the employee handbook) that "egregious" examples of unwanted and unacceptable would be grounds for termination.
Where does this go? To the very real end of, simply put, having a work life and a personal life and never letting the two of them cross.
I remember in my father's generation we would go to softball games where the the company sponsored the team and everyone on it was a coworker of my father. In this day and age, the chances of that happening seem to fall into the slim and none category: it is just another way to foul up without knowing it.
The outcome of this, to me at least, was a continuation of a path I am heading down: a complete and total separation of personal work life and a complete separation of friendship and coworkers.
Once upon a time - I believe this, I experienced it - one worked with one's friends: after all, you spent 40 plus hours together a week. You did things outside of work as you would do with any other friend. You knew about them, theirs spouses, their kids, their interests.
That has all changed.
The best, most safest way to get along in the world is simply to have no friends at work. Have coworkers - yes, you must. But there is a line between you and them, a line the runs through the regular work day and ends there. Do nothing with them outside of work. Do not let them into your personal life. Do not let them into your on-line life.
Harsh words, to be sure. But the risk has simply become too great.
And I do not expect this trend to change. In the not too distant future I expect that "possibly liable" will become "liable" and the assumption that one's employer is tracking one's on-line profile will not become an possibility but a given.
I have worked at cleaning out my personal life at my office, but I think I need to do a round two and start removing everything that does not directly relate to my work from the office. Perhaps pictures of Na Clann and The Ravishing Mrs. TB. But not much else.
Welcome to the future, where instead of integration of the individual and their life we have arrived at the atomization of the individual into their separate parts.
My advice to those starting out their careers? Make no friends, only coworkers. And openly refuse to engage in anything more. Your future employment will depend on it.
It’s like that where I work TB. Everyone says good morning, maybe some quick banter - but that’s IT.
ReplyDeleteOne of the owners called me up a couple weeks back for an odd but interesting conversation. He noticed I wasn’t on Facebook or LinkedIn. I told him the flat out truth: I have the wrong opinions and worldviews. I not only shun Facebook, I don’t (and won’t) twitter or tweet or instagram either. I didn’t want to be lured into confrontations with social justice warriors or sensitivity mobs, or political zealots. I didn’t want to expose myself or my information to people I don’t know, and if social interaction was required I was always up for a phone call, coffee or beer. It’s bad enough that you can get in trouble for something you post today; but now people are being mobbed for stuff they said 15 years ago.
I think he was shocked and respected my position on the social media. I urge everyone to get off social media NOW. You can always sign up again with an anonymous Later.
I remember in the summer my dad's shop would host cookouts with softball games, three legged races, eggs in spoons and such.
ReplyDeleteToday we are poorer. And it is all because the commie socialist demons know that separated, we are less.
Egregious behavior? Okay, but who defines that? If society's current double standard isn't acknowledged then it's a useless "rule." Unless the company is simply checking a box to say "we required harassment training." I agree about keeping work relationships professional rather than friendships. In my experience and observations, it usually seems to backfire anyway.
ReplyDeleteThanks Glen. Apparently the world changed and I did not notice it.
ReplyDeleteInteresting that one of the owners noticed it. I guess in the modern world, it is expected. Even more interesting that they actually respected you for it.
I have been thinking - and it is probably time - to ditch the LinkedIn Account again. It does nothing but attract salespeople. For Facebook, I continue to drastically downsize the following (but keep it for my parents).
Glen, I will also note that these activities you list - coffee, a beer, a conversation - are the very things that seem most at risk and undesirable these days.
ReplyDeleteLinda, I remember those days too. No more, it seems.
ReplyDeleteIt is not just those that would separate us. It is our litigious society as well: I suppose I cannot blame companies for wanting to discourage any kind of behavior that presents liability. And more and more, any non-work activity is a liability.
Leigh, it was not defined, and that is part of the problem for me. "Egregious Behavior" can be whatever someone determines it to be.
ReplyDeleteIt saddens me, honestly. In the past, my work friendships have been some of the most impactful of my life. Unfortunately, future generations will be denied this aspect of the work environment. At best everyone will huddle in their cubes and quietly work their days away. Any support for issues or concerns will have to happen somewhere else (but if they are like me, not sure where that will be given time and energy and the fact everyone else is busy); at worst, they will work in fear of being called out for something that may have "offended" someone else.
We claim we are increasing freedom, yet everywhere we drive ourselves deeper into chains.
I have been self employed for most of my working life, but the work that I do prevents me from making good friendships. It would perhaps have been better if I had been employed, been in an office all day, then off to a life outside of work after working hours had finished. It would have been easier. But this is the life that God has given me, and this is the life I feel blessed to be living.
ReplyDeleteYou definitely have to be very careful about meeting new people. I was an outside sales guy for years so I can slip through people’s defenses and usually find out what triggers them. If they are friends I stay well clear of their hot buttons. Even if they are courteous and polite liberals I will respect them in return. If they are the more obnoxious type I just walk away now. Odd... I think they find that more offensive than when you stay and argue with them.
ReplyDeleteVera, you bring up a very good point: there are jobs which by the nature of them prevents things like friendships from occurring. It is an odd thought to me, because that has not all been my experience - but there it is.
ReplyDeleteUltimately, I suspect we often get what is really best for us, even if we do not see it at the time.
Glen, I lack your years of experience and insight. It is just easier to say nothing at all except perhaps nod greetings.
ReplyDelete