I find myself in the unusual position of being at peace. Given me, I'm sure it's a temporary thing.
I start by blaming Silverline. It was her suggestion yesterday. "Instead of worrying and stretching and reaching about things" she intoned, "why don't you just take a mental break from everything. See what happens."
Take a break. Hhmph. Relax. Hhmph.
I am by nature a worrier - and not necessarily the most brilliant one in the world. Add to that the fact that more often than not I am also unhappy about vast swaths of my life (commonly known as "work") and you can see that this is counter intuitive to almost everything I do on a daily basis.
But I had nothing to lose, right? So yesterday, I didn't try about those things. I went, I worked away from one task to the next, I came home, I worked on my Iaido and my mandolin, walked the dog, read a bit and went to bed.
The odd thing is that the day passed (as all days do) even though the only thing that I had changed was my striving and worrying. Nothing significantly improved. A suitcase of money did not hit me on the head as I was driving home. My dream career did not give me a Monday morning casting call.
But yet, I was at peace.
I wonder (as I often do) if it is at moments like these that God slaps His forehead in frustration and says "I've been telling him that all along. He wouldn't listen to me?"
Because I suppose that in a real sense, that's Christ talks about when He said "Seek ye first the kingdom of God and all these things will be added unto you" or "Sufficient for the day is it's own troubles." That God truly is in control, and that we need to spend less time worrying and being frenetically busy and more time simply doing and seeking Him.
The Psalmists seem to have grasped this particularly well. As I read through them now (as I do this time every year) the message that keeps coming through is the power of God, the presence of God, and the plans of God. As He said to the psalmist in Psalm 46: "Be still and know that I am God." He is ultimately in control, and all my worrying or carrying on or frenzied running in place accomplishes precisely nothing with Him willing it so.
So I will try this again today: No worry. No allowance for stress. No frenzied plans. I will go about my day working and then coming home and doing other things.
I will be still, and know that God is God.
I am already being blamed so I may just put in my two cents here ☺☺☺
ReplyDeleteI am very proud of you. And I am also stunned, I am not sure but I am having the feeling that this is the first time you have actually listened to me…
As I am watching the flickering of fireflies outside of my window I will expand on the concept of being relaxed in “your current situation”.
“The Universe doesn’t make mistakes.” I wrote this thought some time back as part of my meditations/essays and we discussed it.
I believe this is very much true and the more I look at my life now and compare it to the times before [you know what times I am talking about] the more comfortable I feel with the notion of uncertainty.
The Universe/God delivers us the precise lesson we need to learn at the absolutely precise time when we need to learn it. Whether or not we like the lesson or agree with the timing.
We humans have the tendency to try to foresee what is coming next, try to plan, worry about the plan, and so on. We try to either preserve our situation “as is” in the current status quo to protect ourselves from the unknown, uncertain… Or alternatively, change the circumstances by force - but “on our own terms” just to feel in control (again to protect ourselves from the unknown and uncertain). Then we get frustrated, hurt, discouraged when our lives are not working the way we would like.
It’s the same as pushing a door and pushing it and pushing it and getting frustrated that the door doesn’t open – well how about trying to pull for once.
Just to clarify here, I am NOT talking about being passive. I love to pursue dreams, try new things, work hard, being creative and innovative, put myself a little out there, do the best I can, and then learn more… I am a big fan of all of it.
What I am talking about here is the acceptance of the fact that there are things in the Universe that we can’t control. No matter how hard we try.
By relaxing in the current situation, by accepting that there are things we don’t control, we open ourselves to the lessons, possibilities and opportunities that the Universe/God provides us. We remove the blindfold from our eyes that we created for ourselves in the singular pursuit for control of our life and mitigation of the unknown.
Slow down my friend; stop; relax; look around; relax some more and open yourself to whatever lesson the Universe/God is giving you. There are no mistakes.
Silverline