Having a child in their teenage years gives one a great deal to think about concerning one's own teenage years.
Teenagers, as I have come to discover, can be incredibly self-focused. I do not think they mean anything by this - it is not as if they are not capable of extreme acts of kindness and thoughtfulness - but the world as they see it has a great many things which they need to be about and so the world (often) should be about helping them do these things.
Initially this sort of thing bothered me a lot - after all, one of the hallmarks of an adult is supposed to be the ability to look into the future and concentrate on the humdrum things of life like food and laundry and paying the bill to keep the lights on. But as I continued to consider it, I realized that I was probably just the same way.
I do not have any conscious thought or memory about how things got done when I was a teenager either. I know they did, but I just cannot remember it. I do remember having a great deal of schoolwork and the activities that I did (band rehearsal - oh, band rehearsal!) and friends and the job my senior year. But the things about how life ran, the things that I think about every day - not a memory.
And maybe that is okay - after all, at some level teenage years are a transition period from childhood to adulthood. It is like anything else - one assumes that this things are instinctively evident when in fact they need to be taught, just like any other life skill. And if I am truly honest about it, I would do anything to have the ability to focus just on my own life instead of the lives of those in my care and the 101 things that one seems to have to track when one is an adult.
It does not make the whole thing more palatable, of course, especially when one ends up waiting in the car for an extended period of time (time is one of those things which is fluid, I suppose) or is driven to distraction by random cups and glasses that never quite seem to make their way to the sink.
But perspective, I am coming to appreciate, is not simply the ability to look back at one's own life and learn: it is equally the ability to look at the lives of others and draw out new lessons from old memories.
Mine is so much different than I was. When I was a teen I couldn;t wait to drive, was always out doing something and hated to be at home. Mine lives for computer games LOL. Of course they didn't have those when I was his age and I could afford a car and drive it on minimum wage too.
ReplyDeleteGovernment has ruined teenage fun.
Well mine are different because they are all girls, of course. That said, they probably spend more time watching things than I had the opportunity to do, although the youngest probably plays as much games as I did - or would have, if I had the technology at the time.
ReplyDeleteGood point about minimum wage - I do not think it possible to be a teenager with a car on one.