Frustration

I woke up this morning and realized something had left during the night.

My dreams.

It's a funny thing, to wake up and realize that you simply don't have anything you feel you should be working towards or attempting to achieve. Weird really, and completely not the way it's supposed to be.

So I thought some more. Where did these dreams go? And then I realized my real concern was not dreams, but frustration.

Being unemployed is frustrating on any number of levels, but one of the more subtle levels is that of losing your dreams and goals. Why? Because suddenly there is no platform to put them on. You have no idea where you will be, or when you will be working, or what the nature of your work will be and how consuming it will become between work, commute, and sleep. There's no sense in starting a grand project only to realize that through leaving or scheduling you can no longer complete it. All things fade into nonsensicality, waiting for the determining call that suddenly gives you the frame of reference to start restructuring your life. Anything you take in hand beyond one or two days simply becomes sand pouring through your fingers into the crashing waves.