The No-Entry Entry

So here it is, 6 days into April and almost 1.5 weeks since I last posted.

Why?

I don't really have a good answer. I could allude to busyness, or a lack of new developments, or even sheer laziness - but I don't know that any of those things would be true.

The reality is, there are times when it seems like you don't have a great deal to say - like the cauldron which is spewing forth ideas gets crusted over to the point that, like a magma chamber which will eventually (I suppose) burst forth in an eruption of words and thoughts and ideas.

You would think I would - I had a job interview last week that left me reeling with either the fear of not being hired, or the fear of being hired; of meeting with He Who Must Not Be Named who laid off the previous week; of going to a local job fair and seeing a line around the building for companies that were just talking and directing people to websites instead of taking resumes or having interviews; having a nice Friday of hiking Mt. Diablo and a Men's retreat.

But no - no sense to write about any of it. Just a sort of "Blah" when the thought comes around, as if there is nothing of significance to write on.

Significance. There's a word that's floated around in my head more than once during this period. If there is anything that being laid off for a period of time helps you realize, it is your relative lack of significance in an world that seems (shockingly) to continue along quite well without your presence, thank you very much. It also brings attention to what I spent my time on at work, performing my job. Just think: all the documents carefully handled according to systems, the audits, the training records filed away in the event of an audit - all of these are just taking up space somewhere in storage, ready for planned destruction or unplanned obsolescence, moldering on a box in a giant storage facility somewhere. Talk about your disincentives to continue in your field - or in a lot of them really, since so many are simply that: creating and managing products or records that will eventually (or not so eventually) pass into the night without a thought.

How do we more fully focus on what is significant when so much of what we do as a part of living in 21st Century America rails against it?