Saturday, April 25, 2009

Sargasso Sea

This not knowing anything is quite the energy and purpose sapper. Two ongoing threads right now, one here and one away (as in another state away). Both will probably be decided one way or the other about the same time given hiring policies (and we hope at least one is decided the right way, because a job now would be an excellent thing!).

What it does seem to do is simply drain me. Something I had not counted on. I suppose it is a low grade form of depression, although I don't recognize it as such. There is much more of a sense of powerlessness, of going through the motions every day even though the results don't seem to be happening .

And thus, the energy and purpose sapper.

I just need to know. Either one, if they come through, will result in major changes to our schedules (if not our lives) - one potentially would involve a move. But continuing to exist in this twilight land of almost knowing, of waiting for the next interview or next response while the days (and the bank account) tick by - it is maddening.

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