A Year Of Humility (XVI): Accepting Salvation

 One of the most humbling things anyone can do is accept the fact that they are a sinner, to agree with God's word that they are lost without His saving grace.

One of the next most humbling things is to believe it.

There seem to be two sorts of people in the world, those that have no problem believing it and those that have a great deal of trouble believing it.  Perhaps unsurprisingly, I fall into the second bracket.

It is not, I suppose, that I question that He cannot do it. It is that I question that I can accept that it is done.

Arguably it comes from a lifetime of doubting myself, of second guessing my second guesses, of never willing to commit to a decision (and therefore, not believing anyone else can either).

I was reminded of my struggle that I have with this - and the certainty that I should have - by a song that was new to me at Easter (Run time 4:55).

Death was Arrested (North Point Worship)

[Verse 1]

Alone in my sorrow and dead in my sin

Lost without hope with no place to begin

Your love made a way to let mercy come in

When death was arrested and my life began

[Verse 2]

Ash was redeemed only beauty remains

My orphan heart was given a name

My mourning grew quiet, my feet rose to dance

When death was arrested and my life began

[Chorus]

Oh, Your grace so free, washes over me

You have made me new, now life begins with You

It's Your endless love, pouring down on us

You have made us new, now life begins with You

[Verse 3]

Released from my chains, I'm a prisoner no more

My shame was a ransom He faithfully bore

He cancelled my debt and He called me His friend

When death was arrested and my life began

[Chorus]

Oh, Your grace so free, washes over me

You have made me new, now life begins with You

It's Your endless love, pouring down on us

You have made us new, now life begins with You

[Verse 4]

Our Savior displayed on a criminal's cross

Darkness rejoiced as though heaven had lost

But then Jesus arose with our freedom in hand

That's when death was arrested and my life began

That's when death was arrested and my life began

[Chorus]

Oh, Your grace so free, washes over me

You have made me new, now life begins with You

It's Your endless love, pouring down on us

You have made us new, now life begins with You

[Bridge]

Oh, we're free, free, forever we're free

Come join the song of all the redeemed

Yes, we're free, free, forever amen

When death was arrested and my life began

Oh, we're free, free, forever we're free

Come join the song of all the redeemed

Yes, we're free, free, forever amen

When death was arrested and my life began

[Outro]

When death was arrested and my life began

That's when death was arrested and my life began

What Defines Us?

It has occurred to me that if the history of early to mid 21st Century U.S. History is ever written from the standpoint of a dispassionate historian, it may very well be defined as The Age of Rage.

If one considers it, the century literally started with a hotly contested election (A.D. 2000), followed by the worst attack on U.S. soil (A.D. 11 September 2001).  Things did not greatly improve from there.

Added to the mix was the fact the for the first time in world history, both news and opinions became almost instantaneous, brought together by technology that linked the world in real time (the InterWeb, the "computer in your pocket" we call a smart phone that comes with a camera/video camera/audio recorder) and platforms that allowed one to react in real time (The Book of Face, InstaPic, The Bird/Letter, and now Light Dispersing Atmosphere).

Suddenly, conversations were not necessary. We could see, hear, and most importantly react in real time.

I know what you are thinking: "TB, you are treading close to waters you never engage in."  You are right, of course - which is why this post is about none of that.

---

What it is about is the intentional and unintentional definitions of who we are versus who we appear to be in the virtual world.

Back in The Days of Yore, what we most knew about people was that which we knew about those closest to us and the usually limited and controlled information we learned about others.  Public images - even if not real and highly protected - were considered important.  One could argue that the idea of the "celebrity endorsement" found its roots in the idea that the celebrity was who they appeared to be through the media.

Now, of course, that buffer does not exist.  We are treated to scads of individuals essentially "in the raw".

---

As I have publicly stated more than once here, I have begun a retreat from social media which was originally rather slow but has picked up steam of recent months, which in turn has prompted a re-examination of the what and where I look at other things online.  There is more than one reason for this of course, but at least one of them beyond just simply having my "feed' filled with negativity and anger is how people are coming to define themselves by what the post and what they are angry about.

I have seen it in my own circles, where posts for or against this or that have come to be the majority, if not the dominant majority, of what people post and write on.  Places that are opinion free are becoming as rare as hen's teeth. More and more, people's public personas are now defined by the modern and the current.

So much so, in some cases, that it becomes hard to see beyond that.

(As a side note - and likely worthy of a second post - I will note that a great many people seem against a great many things these days; I see very few that are taking action to help address a problem that they see.  Another output of the technology/reaction culture is that it is easier to have an opinion - which is the click of a button - than it is to solve a need.  Especially one that will be done in the small secret places, a thing our modern attention culture is very much against.)

---

One of the commands that we as Christians have - and here, obviously, I am speaking to Christians - is that we are to reflect the nature of our Master.  We are imperfect of course and forever falling short of His perfect love and obedience, but the command inherent in our calling ourselves His is that we do the best we can.

When what we post about is more rage and anger and distrust and disbelief, we become less and less credible witnesses.

In a way, it is as prosaic as a business:  50% of any business' potential customer base will not believe what the company might believe.  If the company exists to make money - which in theory is the point of most companies - they will wisely minimize anything that would cause that 50% who is likely to disagree with "X" to actually give thought to what that company believes. In other words, wise businesses do everything in their power to not give potential customers a reason to say "no".

As is true for companies, so it is true for individuals.  And especially true for Christians.

---

There is a story told about a 19th Century preacher - I believe Charles Spurgeon - who had a fellow pastor come to him.  The pastor, who had recently published a prominent Christian work on Christ, was angry at a letter penned by a critic in a newspaper.  He in turn had written a response and had brought it to his friend for review.

Spurgeon (or whomever) reviewed the letter.  "You are completely justified in your criticism; in fact, I see several places where you could write more.  There is only one problem with the letter.  You have only signed it with your name.  You need to add "Your name, author of Work about Christ's love".

The first pastor looked at Spurgeon and quietly left.  The letter was never published.

---

At some point, "current modern event" will have passed into history.  What will be left are not only those public personas - those pictures, those comments, those quotes, those articles - that exist to show the world "who we are".  

Christ cannot make a written Gospel a lived Gospel, as He has ascended. That task is for us who remain here.  And the question I now ask myself whenever I "like" or approve something or comment on anything is simply "How will this seem years from now when I am talking to someone I need to reach?"

We like to speak as Christians of how Christ's will is to become our own.  Yet too often I find that I will drop His Cross for my own thoughts, desires, and opinions.  That is not an option that is really given to us; ours is to carry it daily, not lay it down for the moment, no matter how justified it seems.

 

Essentialism (XV): Essence Of The Essentialist: Explore: Sleep

"The best asset we have for making a contribution to the world is ourselves." - Greg McKeown

McKeown starts the chapter with a story about a man named "Geoff".

At 36 he was at the pinnacle of his career:  he was an Ernst and Young Entrepreneur of the year, a Young Global Leader, cofounder of a successful economic fund, and CEO of a global microlending organization that reached 12 million poor families. His schedule, as a result of this, was hectic:  he traveled 60 to 70% of the year and slept 4 to 6 hours of sleep a night.

Which came at a cost, which manifested itself over time:  night-time anxiety attacks with no anxiety, organs shutting down, physical impediments like being unable to stand up.  After a series of emergency room visits and doctor visits, he was given two choices:  be on medication for the rest of his life or take a year off and disconnect completely.

He chose the second option, swearing that he would only be away for a couple of months.  What happened instead was unexpected, at least for him:  14 hours of sleep a night, six weeks of being unable to function.  The two months became much, much longer.

Almost 2.5 years after the initial diagnosis, he was asked what his experience had taught him.  "Protect the Asset" was his response - the asset, of course, being himself.

---

If we are the greatest asset we can contribute to the world, says McKeown,  by underinvesting in  ourselves - our minds, our bodies, our spirits - and failing to care for them means we are damaging that which we would use to make the highest contribution.  And sleep, he, proposes, is one of those things.

Like "Geoff" above, McKeown experimented with his own reduced sleep schedule, trying to minimize it or even pulling once a week all-nighters.  His results, perhaps unsurprisingly, were similar to the ones listed above.  He may have gotten more "done", but it was not very well done.

Non-esssentialists, suggests McKeown, see sleep as just another thing to be done in an "already overextended, overcommitted, busy-but-not-always-productive life".  Essentialists contrarily see it as necessary to operate at high levels of contribution, and thus systematically and with deliberation program sleep into their lives - yet another of the tradeoffs Essentialists acknowledge must be made.

---

The rest of this section is McKeown quoting various studies about the benefits of sleep.  One that I found particularly interesting is a study by K. Anders Ericsson of violinists.  The first factor - quoted in Malcom Gladwell's concept of "the 10,000 hour rule" - is that the best violinists spend more time practicing than the merely good violinists.  No surprise there.  But the next finding, not nearly as well known, was that the second most important factor differentiating the best violinists was...sleep.  They average 8.6 hours a night, 1 hour more than average Americans at the time. Additionally, they spent 2.8 hours napping throughout the week.  The authors of the study concluded not just that while the practiced more, the fact that they were well rested meant they could practice with greater concentration and thus get more out of the hours they practiced.

McKeown notes some companies at the time of writing were actively addressing this, by allowing variable hours (to accommodate early risers and night owls) or the infamous "nap pods" of Google or even setting policy that employees need not show up early (or at all) after a "red-eye" flight.   Why?  Because, he argues, those companies made the connection between well rested employees and excellent, creative work.

---

Application:

Sleep is something that has come up quite a bit for me this year.

I am famously a Non-essentialist in this regard:  I for years have tried to program my life into allowing me the least amount of sleep that I need to allow me to "do" everything that I wanted or felt I needed to do.  The result was completely unsatisfactory on almost every count:  I was tired for the bulk of my career and everything I did was often in a haze of activity.

My thinking on this changed a great deal after reading the book Why We Sleep by Dr. Matthew Walker (which I recommend with the caveat that although Dr. Walker is as captivating a writer as an academic can be, there is a lot of material around the nature of sleep and how we came to know that and his opinions on policies about sleep to get to the part about actual sleep recommendations. If you can find the Appendix online, that is the application).  Beyond just all of the physiological benefits of sleep - which may include helping guard against Alzheimer's, something I am pretty interested in - he makes the very strong recommendation that everyone beyond the age of a teenager (e.g., when we hit our adult sleep patterns) needs 8 hours of sleep a night (or even little more).  But not really less than 7 hours.

8 hours of uninterrupted sleep is almost unheard of for me; my sleep pattern seems destroyed after the birth of Nighean Gheal and has never really come back (a casualty of being a parent); at most, I can generally sleep about 6 hours without waking and if I am lucky after that waking, slip in another hour of dozing.  What that means is that more like 7 hours a night.

That said, I try to act as if I am going to get eight hours a night.

Two things that Walker recommends are 1) Have a standard going to bed time including wind down that you never vary from; and 2) Have a standard waking up time you never vary from.  This has been the greatest challenge for me - not the standard waking up time, but rather the standard going to bed time.  Why? Because of course I am trying to fit "one more thing" into my day.

The other thing that I am practicing is that unless it is my waking up time (or within 15 minutes), I stay in bed.  I am not getting into the habit of waking up and deciding to get up and do things.  My father did that, until he was waking up at 0300 every morning.  I may not be able to go back to sleep, but I will not cave in to the fact that like or not, 8 hours is the goal.

Do I really hit that goal?  No.  I am still somewhat trying to fine tune my sleep pattern between when I wake up and when I go to sleep.  A full 8 hours would have me preparing for bed at 2030 and going to bed at 2100 - but I wake up far before 0500 and do not always go back to sleep.  And so I am working on fine tuning that time - somewhere between 2100 and 2145 seems ideal; 2200 is too late.  And based on those times, 7 to 7.5 hours is the maximum I seem to be able to get a night.

Do I feel better?  Somewhat surprisingly, I do.  I still struggle with not "getting enough done".  But I can now very definitively tell when I have enough sleep - and when I have not.

The Collapse CLXXXIX: Strongholds

02 November 20XX+1

My Dear Lucilius:

Between my missive of two nights ago and today, Old Man Winter has made his arrival with a vengeance: a full foot of snow has fallen. It certainly makes me glad I did my walking last week and did not wait until now.

Snow – really any inclement weather – has an odd magic about it even in such a situation as we find ourselves now. In earlier days it would have been an inconvenience, a thing to be managed and planned around. Now it effectively shuts everything down with a soft sort of thud. The snow will melt of course, and then come back and then melt again, until we see the other side of it in March or April.

If there is any blessing in this, it is that what shuts us down shuts almost everything and everyone else down as well. While it is not certain that we will not have “visitors”, the chances are greatly reduced.

Especially if they were walking when this hit.

---

I left you with a bit of a puzzle in the last letter. I laid out for you the geographic location and situation of our town, its likeliest threats, and the puzzle of what to do given a town split in half by a road (and by sentiment) with the most likely risks coming from two particular directions in what could be quick attacks (or any direction in longer directions, of course).

I had originally thought of the school building this town still has from the early 20^th Century. It is brick (which is a plus) and is somewhat away from everything else on flat land, thus giving a clear field of fire. Unfortunately it suffers from one defect: it is a bit far.

The school sits about ¼ of a mile away from the center of town – a little farther for some (like myself), a little less for those closer. The idea of getting everyone there in short order, let alone with the essentials, is a bit daunting – and in the direction of at least one of the threats that could come quickly. Yes, I suppose we could “store” things there, but that also creates a second problem of security , a problem I am not ready to deal with at the current moment.

Given that – which still have potential – I was forced to cast about for second options. Oddly enough, one was right in front of my face: The Post Office.

The Post Office (which shares a building with the once-upon-a-time gas station and mini-mart) is literally in the center of town. The “bad” news is that it is literally right next to the highway that runs through town. The “better” news is that it is made of masonry blocks, has a pretty clear field of fire, and is literally in the center of town – at worst a one minute transit for anyone.

We have used it before for various things as you may recall, so I believe we could reasonably get the current engaged population inside (perhaps not long term comfortably, but reasonably). It has limited points of access in terms of doors and windows which could be fairly easily barricaded – or so Young Xerxes and his nascent band of stalwarts assure me; I am not military engineer. The roof is obviously not stone of course, so that presents a bit of a fire hazard, although I suppose that tin roofing (could we ever find any) could be overlaid.

The problem, as I am defining it, is what would be the most likely occurrence. If history is any guide at all in similar situations (as if economic collapse was all that “similar”), attackers come in two types: raiders and settlers. The settlers are the far more pernicious (Ask the Britons how the Angles, Saxons, and Jutes worked out for them) but do not strike me as the most likely. It is from groups that are similar to what came through in July that we need worry about more: the raiding bands that seek only to loot and move on.

Could both locations work? I do not know that there is not a place for a short term and long term solution. And surely I do not have all the answers; all I have is a need and trying to find the best way to fill it.

The immediate need, of course is the short term one. Another benefit? Much of the current work could done inside, a plus given the weather that has just arrived.

Sometimes even that which seems to shut us down can be used to our advantage.

Your Obedient Servant, Seneca

2025 Japan: Sengakuji (II)

 On the morning of 31 January 1703 (Western Calendar), the end of a drama started 14 months before played out (Author's Note:  This is largely pulled from last year's post). 

The Ako Icident (as it is formerly referred to in the history of the time) started in 1701, when a daimyo, Asano Naganori, was forced to commit seppuku (ritual suicide, literally "cutting of the stomach") after he attacked a high court official, Kira Yoshinaka, in the palace of the Shogun.  To draw a sword inside the castle was strictly forbidden, to attack even more so.  Asano had felt deeply insulted as Kira has degraded and insulted him in the course of instructing him in court etiquette (popular rumor was it was because Kira was hoping for a bribe).

(The Head Washing well, where the 47 Ronin washed the head of Kira Yoshinaka off before presenting it at the tomb of their lord).

After his suicide, the Shogunate demanded the Asano family's domain of Ako be surrendered (along with its castle), its goods confiscated, and its samurai made ronin (literally "A man of the waves" or a masterless samurai, which did not find a place in the Tokugawa's Neo-Confucian social structure of warrior, merchant, farmer, and craftsman).

Enter Oishi Kuranosuke, head chamberlain of the Asano Clan.

(The tomb of Oishi Kuranosuke, leader of the 47 Ronin)

Oisihi, having been notified of the impending forfeiture, first moved the remaining Asano family members and then, against the arguments of some of his clan, formally surrendered the castle and its domain.  He requested to re-establish the house of Asano but failed.

In the meantime, he had a second plan.

(Tombs of Yohida Chuzaemon and Hara Soemon, ages 63 and 56 [respectively] at the time of the Ako Incident)

(The tomb of Maze Kydayu, age 63 at the time of the Ako incident)

Oishi began reaching out to former retainers of the Asano with a plan:  To take revenge on Lord Kira by his assassination. This would be difficult, as Kira was on the watch and carefully monitoring the movements of Oishi and many of the former Asano samurai. 

(The tomb of Hazama Kihyoe, age 69 at the time of the Ako incident.)

And so Oishi hatched a plot.  Reaching out to key retainers, he began to construct a plan whereby he and the retainers would ambush Kira.  This would have to be completely in secret and could not be done while Kira suspected a thing.

(The tomb of Horibe Yahyoe, age 77 at the time of the Ako Incident, proving you are never too old to act.)

Not only would the men have to gather; they would have to get arms and armor without raising suspicion and assemble at a given time when Kira was in a location and no longer suspicious.

The execution of the plan took 14 months.  During that time, Kira's agents tracked Oishi in Kyoto.  What they saw was a man who apparently had given himself over entirely to pleasure, visiting the pleasure quarters and drinking and carrying on with women.  All the time in the background, the team continued to work to gather arms and manufacture armor in secret and remain in contact.

Finally, Kira's agents gave up. Oishi had turned into a wastrel and his men the same.  There was no threat.

On 31 January 1703, Oishi and 46 other ronin, all former retainers of the Asano, stormed Kira's mansion in Edo (now Tokyo).  Splitting into two groups (Kuranosuke led one and his son, 15 year old Chikara, led the other,) they captured the porters lodge and opened the gate.

Prior to the start of the attack, Oishi emphasized to his men that their target was Lord Kira:  women, children, and non-combatants were to be spared.  He also sent messengers to Kira's neighbors, notifying them of the attack and that they were in no danger.  And at the formal initiation of the attack, one of the 47 Ronin climbed to the roof and announced the attack to the neighborhood and that this was an act of revenge.

The attack went on through the night.  The 47 stormed the house and began searching for Kira.  Kira's retainers, when they realized they were losing, attempted to go for aid but were cut down by Oshi's bowmen stationed on the walls.  16 retainers were killed and 22 injured, but Kira could not be found.

Finally, in a shed for storing charcoal and firewood, a man was found.  Refusing to give his name, he was examined.  His head bore a scar, put there by the sword of Asano.  Lord Kira had been found.

Oishi addressed Kira as a retainer would based on Kira's rank, explaining why they had come and offering Kira the chance to commit seppuku and retain his honor; Oishi would act as his kaishakuin (second) and behead him to prevent suffering.  Kira was shaken and trembling; finally, seeing there was no change, Oishi cut off Kira's head with a dagger.  

Extinguishing all lamps to prevent any risk of fire, The 47 Ronin sent one man, Terasaka Kiechiemon, to the Asano domain to announce the deed.  The now 46 Ronin began a walking retreat to Sengaku-ji, a temple favored by the Asano's.  The story spread quickly and as they marched along, they were feted and offered refreshments by passers-by.

(The tomb of Oishi Chikara, age 16 at time of death.  He was Oishi Kuranosuke's son.)

Upon arriving at Sengaku-ji, they washed Kira's head in a nearby well (seen above) and presented it and the dagger that had cut it off on the grave of Lord Asano.  Praying at the temple and giving their remaining funds to the Abbott, they surrendered to the Shogunal authorities.

The Shogunal government was in a bit of a pickle.  Lord Kira was not a popular man, and at the time the decision against Lord Asano had been wildly unpopular.  Also, The 47 Ronin had demonstrated a retainer's loyalty to one's lord, something that the Shogunal government was effectively built on.  To decry that would be to decry the very existence of the Shogunate. 

At the same time, the government could not support acts of revenge like this - there was a process for seeking revenge, but it was a defined process and included a formal declaration of the act of seeking revenge.  The 47 Ronin had done none of this.

The government came to the following decision:  The 46 Ronin, who had been placed in the custody of four daimyo, were to commit seppuku, allowing them to die as warriors and retain their honor.  No revenge could be sought by Kira's family.  The matter was closed.

The Ronin had always planned this as a possible outcome.  And so, on 20 March 1703, the 46 committed seppuku.  Their remains, along with the remains of Lord Asano and his wife Yozen-in (Buddhist name), were buried at Sengaku-ji.

One may note only 46 died.  The 47th, Terasaka Kiechiemon, who had been sent to the Asano domain to declare the revenge, was pardoned by the Shogunate.  Accounts vary of why he was pardoned: some say it was because of his youth, others that it was "plot" by Oishi and the others by clearly stating he as not part of the action to allow his survival.  He lived until 1747 and died at the age of 87, when he was then buried with his comrades.

Another odd note:  There are 48 graves for the Ronin present.  Added in their number is Kayano Shigezane, a retainer who was forced to commit seppuku when a family member disapproved of his taking part in the act.

A final note:  The Asano were restored to their status, but not as the Lords of Ako domain.

A festival for The 47 Ronin is celebrated at the temple on 14 December.

One climbs the stairs above, where a monk and/or a volunteer will take 300 Yen and offer you lighted incense sticks, which are placed on the stone alters in front of each grave.

This was my third time in Sengaku-ji.  It is a humbling and haunting experience, made more so by the fact that this events really happened.

(The nun who originally cared for the graves of the 47 Ronin stated she had received this tree from Asano Naganori. That would make it well over 300 years old.)

(The Chizome, or Blood stained stone.  It is said that when Asano Naganori committed seppuku in the garden of Tamura Ukyodayu, his blood gushed out on this stone, which was relocated to the temple grounds).

Further information:  If one wants to learn more, the Wikipedia link above is a great start.  Do not - and I mean DO NOT  (Update 2025:  By all means DO NOT) - by any means watch the more recent movie starring Keanu Reeves (whom otherwise I enjoy as an actor) - it has almost nothing to do with the actual story except there may be a revenge and 47 Ronin may be involved.  If you have a long period of time, there was a 1941 movie produced which, while not having the fighting, is probably more true to the actual events (located at archive.org). There have been more recent (1950's to 1970's) adaptations.  Perhaps unsurprisingly, it instantly became a classic in the samurai culture and remains so to this day.

For written works, I cannot recommend highly enough Donald Keene's translation of  Kandehon Chushingura (more colloquially known as "The Chushingura)".  Originally developed as a bunraku (puppet play), it had to recast the events to an earlier period due to Shogunal censorship but retains the spirit of the events (especially Oishi's deception).

The 47 Roinin (Source)

The 47 Ronin on their way to Sengaku-ji, stopped by locals for refreshment (Source)

2025 Japan: Sengakuji (I)

As with last year, this year I visited the Sengakuji (Sengaku Temple) located in the Takanawa neighbourhood of Minato-ku, Tokyo.  Built in A.D. 1612 at a different location, it was destroyed by fire in A.D. 1641.  The reigning Shogun of the time, Tokugawa Iemitsu, ordered five clans to rebuild it at its current location.  It was considered one of the three major temples of the Sōtō sect of Buddhism.

The Chumon, the Middle Gate and second of three historical gates (the Outer Gate, the Somon, has since been destroyed).

The calligraphy above the Chumon Gate reads "Banshozan" and means "Mountain of Many Pines", the mountain name of Sengakuji.

The Sanmon, or Maing Gate.  The kanji reads "Sengakuji".

The statue of Oishi Kuranosuke, the leader of the 47 Ronin (more on him tomorrow).

The main temple:

Ash from burning incense:

Looking back towards the Sanmon:

A memorial to the 20th Century priest Sawaki Kodo Roshi:

This bell tower was a late addition, constructed in A.D. 1913:

Of A Comment, An Orchard, and Changing Things

Last week in a post at FOTB's (Friend Of This Blog) blog Eaton Rapids Joe, a commenter made a response which made me stop in my mental tracks (reformatted for purposes of review):

"I just turned 66, went to a new Dr for a checkup.  He asked about my daily activities.

I explained I start at 0800, water at least one orchard, weed, replant, do maintenance etc.  The next day another orchard.  I have 300 fruit and nut trees planted and 800 in pots.

He told me hand watering was wasteful of my time.  I thought about the old saying, 'the best fertilizer is the footprint of the orchardist."

I told him that I had already spent my life trying to change people and the world and now I just wanted to grow food trees and in my book it certainly isn't a waste. (Ed. note:  Emphasis mine.)

He stayed quiet after that."

It made me stop in my mental tracks because the bold section was a thought that I had been struggling with and not able to give voice to.

If I am honest with myself, this has been the way things have been running together over the last few months - really, the last year more or less since our relocation.  Partially it manifested itself simply in the fact that with the change in location came a change in how I spent my time.  Partially it manifested itself - well, maybe a lot of manifesting following the recent election - by a greater and greater withdrawal from social media first and then most news and now blogs that generally dwell on  - as the commenter noted above - "trying to change people and change the world".

Combine that with what has been becoming clearer and clearer in terms of the fact that really my career is God's "calling" on my life and the focus I am finding on an ever decreasing list of activities to focus on (largely driven by the book Essentialism and improved by making myself blog about it to understand it), and suddenly my life seems very little about the "greater things" of the age.

One of the books I picked up recently at the recommendation in a book which I cannot now recall (Cal Newport?  Rod Dreher?) is the book The Intellectual Life:  Its Spirit, Conditions, Methods by A.G. Sertillanges, O.P.. It is a dense book and I am slowly reading through it, but one of the ideas he writes of is that God calls us to solitude, but not isolation:  "As lifegiving as is solitude, so paralyzing and sterilizing is isolation". 

I am largely a introvert - at least by how I recharge my energy, if not by how I seem to engage people - and have always had buried in me that someday I would just "get away" from it all.  But that is not the point, suggests Sertillanges:  yes, we need solitude, but solitude within the larger context of being in people.

I realize as I write this these seem to be two entirely different streams of thought - one on doing things that matter even to one's self and not "worrying" about changing people or the world, the other on the idea solitude versus isolation - but I think they have a common item.  And that perhaps is simply doing the things that we are given to do (by God in my case) outside of any greater social or civilizational context.

Another FOTB and the blog's resident optimist Ed from Riverbend Journal has made the comment more than once that for he, and I, and likely most of the readers of our blogs, the ability to impact "the world" is beyond us at this point.  The torch of decisional destiny has largely passed to the younger generations; we are in a different stage of life.  And it had struck me - before the comment at the start of this post - how relatively freeing a statement that is.  

The blogs I follow - they are all listed over there to the right, with one or two exceptions that post enough on political views that while I enjoy them, they are outside the bounds here - are almost completely consumed with people who are living lives which, by the world's standards, would be considered "small".  They are generally folks that are small homesteaders or retired folks (or both) that are simply living their lives and doing the things they feel important:  gardening, raising livestock, woodworking and carpentry, weaving, creating a comfortable home, posting pictures of flowers, writing fiction and writing about history and writing ponderings on life.   But if I think about such blogs, I realize that they have one thing that binds them:  they do (and write about what they do) from and for a love of the things that they do.

Not one of them writes about changing people or changing the world - but  they have come to change at least one person and one person's world:  my own as I have read them and come to know them over the years.

The commenter on ERJ's blog remains, sadly, anonymous.  But I remain grateful to them for helping to push me to a clarity that I have been struggling through but never arrived at: simply by doing that to which we feel called we can both change people and change the world through the solitude of those actions in a world that does not seem to see them.

And by doing so - whether in leaving an orchard or trees or works that pass to others or simply by the example of our lives - we leave people and the world a better place.

Easter 2025

 

The Resurrection of Christ - James Tissot, 1890 (Source)

Now after the Sabbath, as the first day of the week began to dawn, Mary Magdalene and the other Mary came to see the tomb. And behold, there was a great earthquake; for an angel of the Lord descended from heaven, and came and rolled back the stone from the door, and sat on it. His countenance was like lightning, and his clothing as white as snow. And the guards shook for fear of him, and became like dead men.

But the angel answered and said to the women, “Do not be afraid, for I know that you seek Jesus who was crucified. He is not here; for He is risen, as He said. Come, see the place where the Lord lay. And go quickly and tell His disciples that He is risen from the dead, and indeed He is going before you into Galilee; there you will see Him. Behold, I have told you.”

So they went out quickly from the tomb with fear and great joy, and ran to bring His disciples word.

And as they went to tell His disciples, behold, Jesus met them, saying, “Rejoice!” So they came and held Him by the feet and worshiped Him. Then Jesus said to them, “Do not be afraid. Go and tell My brethren to go to Galilee, and there they will see Me.”

- Matthew 28: 1-10, NKJV

An Amusing InterWeb Search

Periodically I perform an InterWeb search of myself, both person and as an author of this blog.  One reason I did this recently was the fact that I had read and heard that Google was quite clamping down on search results to keep people within the Google Internet Sphere (turns out for a basic search, it is true. I do not show up anywhere).

Brave and its AI function, however, were a different story:

"Toirdhealbheach Beucail is a blogger who has been active since 2005 and writes about various topics including personal reflections, travel, and cultural observations. He is known for his blog "The Forty-Five," where he shares posts about his life and interests, such as his recent experiences in Japan and his thoughts on his career in the biopharmaceutical and medical devices industry.

Toirdhealbheach Beucail, whose name means "booming or roaring" in Old Irish Gaelic, has lived in several places throughout his life, moving from his hometown to different locations due to work and personal circumstances. He has also written a primer about himself, providing insights into his background and career journey."

I asked it a follow up question, "How does Toirdhealbheach Beucail write?":

"Toirdhealbheach Beucail is known for his detailed and reflective writing style. Here are some key characteristics of his writing:

1. Personal Reflections: He often shares personal stories and reflections, providing insights into his life, thoughts, and experiences. This makes his writing relatable and engaging.

2. Cultural Observations: Toirdhealbheach frequently writes about his travels and the cultures he encounters. His observations are thoughtful and often include historical and social context, enriching the reader's understanding.

3. Professional Insights: Given his background in the biopharmaceutical and medical devices industry, he sometimes delves into professional topics, offering informed and insightful commentary.

4. Descriptive Language: His writing is rich in descriptive language, painting vivid pictures of the places he visits and the people he meets. This helps readers visualize and connect with his narratives.

5. Humor and Wit: Toirdhealbheach often infuses his writing with humor and wit, making his posts enjoyable and light-hearted, even when discussing serious topics.

6. Structured and Organized: His posts are typically well-structured, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. This makes his writing easy to follow and understand.

7. Authenticity: He is known for his authenticity and honesty, sharing both the highs and lows of his experiences. This transparency builds trust with his readers.

8. Educational Elements: He often includes educational elements in his posts, providing readers with new information and perspectives on various topics.

Overall, Toirdhealbheach Beucail's writing is characterized by its personal touch, cultural depth, and engaging style, making his blog a valuable and enjoyable read."

One highly amusing sentence from a more in depth report:  "He has been blogging for 20 years as of July 2025, making him a seasoned and respected figure in the blogging community."

Seasoned, maybe?  Respected? And do we have anything as formalized as a "blogging community"?

I am not sure any of it is true and I did get a good chuckle out of it, but I suppose it is nice that at least Brave AI has a good opinion of me.

Good Friday 2025

I am not really sure if it is "okay" to have a favorite hymn for Good Friday as it is such a somber day.  But were I to, this is one of the best.

Go To Dark Gethsemane  

Go to dark Gethsemane,

You who feel the tempter's pow'r;

Your Redeemer's conflict see;

Watch with Him one bitter hour;

Turn not from His griefs away;

Learn of Jesus Christ to pray.

Follow to the judgment hall;

View the Lord of life arraigned;

O the worm-wood and the gall!

O the pangs His soul sustained!

Shun not suff'ring, shame, or loss;

Learn of Him to bear the cross.

Calv'ry's mournful mountain climb

There' adoring at His feet,

Mark the miracle of time,

God's own sacrifice complete:

"It is finished!" Hear the cry;

Learn of Jesus Christ to die.

Early hasten to the tomb

Where they laid his breathless clay;

All is solitude and gloom;

Who hath taken Him away?

Christ is ris'n! He meets our eyes:

Savior, teach us so to rise.

- James Montgomery (1771-1854), 1825

The Collapse CLXXXVIII: Walking And Talking

 31 October 20XX+1

My Dear Lucilius

My sincerest of apologies for what became a six day delay in responding. I have been far more busy and distracted than I had anticipated. This should not have curtailed my conversation with you, but it has. I am thankful that Pompeia Paulina reached out to you (figuratively of course; I have no idea that you will ever see the correspondences) – although as before, I resolutely refuse to read what she wrote. Conversations have a right to be private between parties.

What have I been up to? Walking and talking, dear Lucilius, walking and talking.

Birch, as you might recall from your visit here, lies almost the end of the Gemstone Valley, a small valley with a Northwest/Southeast axis wedged between Gemstone Mountain and Sandstone Mountain, perhaps 25 miles deep and 3 miles wide. The state highway that leads from Highwayville heads Southeast enters Birch at about 20 miles, where it takes a hard East turn towards Kentucky City. “Behind” Birch is the remaining five miles and a county road, which leads up to a pass with a reservoir (Yes, I know. A dam with a flood plain. Not much I can do about that.)

The point of recounting this geography with you is help you understand what has been in my mind for the past week. One of course, is simply supplies. The second is defensible space and the most likely areas of potential attack.

To answer both of these questions, I needed to do a lot of walking and talking.

I have, by my estimate, visited every house that more or less “falls” within the greater Birch Area. There are, more or less, 50 such dwellings, of which perhaps 35 remain inhabited with others being vacation homes or homes of those that have moved away.

I stopped at every house.

Of those houses, around twnenty-five are what I would call “well disposed” to the idea of having something a bit more firm that what we have now. Those people come in a variety of ages, conditions, and units, from the Alcmaeonid clan with 9 members (parents, six children of various ages, and a mother-in-law) to the Widow Sappho, a 90+ year old veteran of life here with a mind as sharp as a tack. Between these two extremes are singles, couples, small families, retired folk.

The other ten houses...perhaps simplest to say that my decision in the trial was not well received by Terentia and her family and friends and they had no problem informing me of the fact. There were no weapons drawn specifically, but they were clearly in evidence. Pompeia Paulina sent Young Xerxes along with me to shepherd me through this sort of thing.

I detest animosity, Lucilius. But I can at least say that I did all I could to reach out.

One of the points of discussion was simply to find out if – and that was big if – people were interested in this proposed grand experiment (which, for the record, other than the rather unfortunate encounters above, everyone was). The second was to assess how folks were “set up”, as the saying goes.

Interesting facts about performing such an exercise:

1) Perhaps to no-one’s surprise, people here that live hear year round are generally better prepared than what I suspect most are, the climate and conditions being what they are.

2) People are generally quite happy to discuss their armaments.

3) Food was an unspoken issue (except for the Widow Sappho of course, who assured me she had “enough in her root cellar to outlast this Great Depression just like her parents did the last one”).

The last point reflects how much uncertainty and fear there is. People are genuinely concerned about what comes next.

Which leads me to my description of our area above: geography. Or perhaps more precisely, geography, likely threats, and defenses.

The reality is – given what I have just described above – any threats are likely to come one of four ways. The first one – from the Northwest of Highwayville -is the most likely, but also the one we would know of the earliest. And coming from the road the other way – from Kentuckyville – while much closer, would likely also be with sufficient warning. To our Southwest, Gemstone peak is likely high enough to prevent all but the most determined and energetic from making an attack (and I suspect we have few modern Hannibal’s in our modern world).

Which leaves the road to the reservoir behind us and the much lower range to our north, over which lies the wilds between Little City and McAdams – concerning in that someone could come over them largely without encountering anyone else except us.

This letter has gone on too long already, Lucilius, so I will leave you with this question for the next one, a question that has been on my mind ever since I started these walks: How do we make a defensible space when the very nature of where we are is not defensible?

Sometimes life comes down to playing the hand we are dealt.

Your Obedient Servant, Seneca

2025 Japan: Kurumamachi Inari Shrine

 If you were to exit the train station at Sengakuji Station, Tanagawas district, Minato-ku, Tokyo, come out, walk down the street and cross it on your way to Sengakuji (Sengku Temple), you would pass a concrete building that at first would look very much like just another modern building.  Then you would take a second look and realize it was a Shinto temple.

The temple is the Kurumachi Inari Shrine, a shrine which enshrines Inari Okami, the deity associated with foxes, rice, household wellbeing, financial prosperity, and general prosperity.

Fountain for ceremonial cleaning.  Tradition dictates washing one's hands and rinsing one's mouth out.

The main sanctuary.  The Deity is enshrined behind the door.

Side view of the sanctuary.

2025 Japan: Tayasu Mon

 The Tayasu Mon (Tayasu Gate) is one of the remaining portions of Edo Castle (now the Imperial Residence).   Originally built in 1607, the gate that we see today was built in 1636.

Tayasu mon in relationship to The Imperial Palace.  This all would have been part of Edo Castle under the Tokugawa Shogunate.

(Source:  Google Maps)

Looking towards the Nippon Budokan.

The remaining moat and earthen walls of what was Edo Castle.