As I have often noted before, the best way to have God answer a prayer is to pray one that you really do not want Him to answer.
As I have been pondering things to work on in the coming year, one of the things I have failed to incorporate in years past is working on a virtue - I can make any sort of amount of plans for other things, but virtues like love, joy, peace patience, kindness, goodness, self control - those sorts of things from 1 Peter - have always somehow escaped my notice. That is probably intentional on my part: who wants to seriously work on "patience" in a world where the perception is often if you do not do it, no-one will?
At any rate, the thing that came to my mind for next year was humility. It is something I very much struggle with, being very much about myself and thinking about myself in almost every situation first and foremost. I may have tentatively - tentatively, mind you - reached out in prayer maybe mentioning it was something I needed.
The response, like most of the things that God really wants to do in my life, came almost immediately.
We recently had a new employee join my department at work. I say "New"; in point of fact they have far more experience than I do in the company and had just left about two years ago to take a new position. The individual is deeply experienced and genuinely seems to be a good person.
What surprised me - in meetings, in conversation, even in just listening to other conversations - is how threatened I feel.
Threatened? Ridiculous for someone that has been here less than a month. But there I am, my internal dander up. I was even a bit of a naysayer at some suggestions in meetings, until I replayed it in my mind and realized how petty it seemed and sounded and looked.
Why am I threatened? If I am truly honest to myself, it is because I am more concerned about my perceived position at the job and future opportunities than I am about realizing we have another resource to help, one with a lot of experience in the very systems we are trying to improve.
How very Junior High of me.
Humility - in this case - would neither think specifically of the future of my own work or career in this case. It would be not only to be welcoming, but encouraging of other ideas and projects that move things forward, even if in the process my own position (real or imagined) is eclipsed.
And then, I play this idea out into every relationship that I am involved in and realize it is going to be a very, very long year indeed.
At least, perhaps as Isaac the Syrian suggests, I can be at rest.
The Mentor often learns as he teaches.
ReplyDeleteSadly, the Mentor finds he is in need of a lot of work before he really should be mentoring anyone...
DeleteKudos to you for having the self-awareness to review that meeting in your mind. Double-kudos for being able to reach a conclusion that is not very flattering.
ReplyDeleteThanks, ERJ. It was a less than happy moment of consideration. Hopefully I have nipped it in the bud before it impacts anything else. And hopefully I can practice it in other parts of my life.
DeleteThe ability to turn that ME into We isn't present in a number of folks, congrats on that self-awareness as ERJ mentioned. Be glad there's a year coming up TB, even the Bumble learned to be humble..... :)
ReplyDeleteNylon12 - You are right that the "gift" of self-examination is something that we seem to be losing, which is interesting to me as supposedly we live in a time where we are nothing but about ourselves. I fear we are too much on the outside and too little on the inside.
Delete(A Martian No-Prize for the Rudolph reference!)
That is self-surgery! Great insight and honesty. Our old flesh monsters want their way. The more we give in to them, the stronger they get, the more of Galatians 5:19-21 we live out. When we let the Spirit move through and in us, His fruit is evident in our normal life; Galatians 5:22-26.
ReplyDeleteWhen I think of fruit, I think about all those hours in I spent in cotton fields. I never heard a cotton plant grunting and straining to make cotton bolls. It's the nature of the plant to produce them. I reckon the life of Christ lived out in us should be just as natural.
When you identify a symptom, you know something is askew, crimping off the Holy Spirits work in and through you. I always hesitate to pray for things that are stated to be mine already. God may decide you need to strengthen the "muscle" of the fruit you have by giving you a workout to develop it. Praying for patience is a sure way to get more opportunities to exercise it. Praying for insight on where I'm hindering His work in my life and being quick to confess and forsake the hindrance is effective. (Maybe even a bit less painful than a workout)
Thanks, STxAR.
DeleteI suppose I have no hesitation praying for things that are noted as mine in Scripture, as I feel like I am either really terrible at them or I simply do not see them in my life the way I should. I should be farther along that path than I am.
I've always felt the hardest person to "fix" is usually myself. It is so much easier to point out the fault in others.
ReplyDeleteEd - But it is so much more fun to "fix" other people. After all, we think we can see things far more clearly than they can see them.
DeleteOr, to paraphrase Christ: Splinter in the eye, meet log.
Oh, today's thoughts hit so close to home that they hurt. Blessings, Julia
ReplyDeleteJulia, I cannot tell you how embarrassed I was when I realized all this. Hopefully I was able to contain it before any significant damage was done (and I bet likely, no-one else particularly noticed). But I did.
DeleteI will take it as a sign of growth that I did. Even 5 years ago, I am not sure I would have.
You find humility and wisdom, under layers of...you. Good find!
ReplyDeleteThanks T_M. Well, I hope so anyway. Let us see how it goes.
DeleteEgo is the enemy.
ReplyDeleteIt is, John. And a huge enemy at that - at least for me.
DeleteIt is true. No one can frighten a mountain.
ReplyDeleteI hope you find peace and humility in the situation. What a brave prayer!
Thank you Sandi. I certainly still have a lot of work to do.
DeleteI have worked on so many of these over my life span but the one I never seem to master no matter how much I try. Better in some ways but I am the least patience person I know. But I've known this since I was a teen. Always said if there is actually reincarnation I'm going to have to come back and do this all over again so I Learn Patience! Still working on it.
ReplyDeleteAnon. - It is hard and probably harder because of the fact that - at least for me - every time I think I have corralled my pride in one place, it pops up in another. All we can do is keeping working around fringes, trying to reduce the overall size.
Delete