On Reviewing Past Annual Goals

Working on updating my 2024 "Books read" list (currently sitting at 93 books), I came across my 2024 goals created last year in December and January.

I had a pretty good laugh about it.

Every year I create a file on my computers entitled "20XX Goals".  It becomes the repository for the initial goal planning for the year, which then gets printed out and pasted into my notebook and can then be updated as needed based on "changes" - for example, in 2024 I the initial writing and then 5 separate updates following that.

Most of the goals tend to be the same over the years - perhaps a note of the fact that I do not make progress in them as I should or I am not good at making them.  I note under the "Career" aspect, it simply says "Find a Job."

The real hilarity comes in when I review my 2023 goals, made in the December/January time period of 2022.  These have some of the lofty and expansive goals of the halcyon days, prior to everything completely changing.  I have multiple-year study programs and big projects and the completion of all kinds of things on there.  

The reality of all of this, of course, has turned out to be far different than I could have imagined.

This is true if I continue to go back and re-read previous goal setting as well (on this computer I have them all the way back to 2015; in my analog notebooks I suspect they go back to the mid 2000's).  Were I to look at them again, there would undoubtedly be some in there that are more or less consistent through the years and some that were new based on completely moving in 2009.  In a way, they are a testimony to how highly one can think about one's self: I  am pretty sure that "Attending World Highland Master's Games" is on there, as is "Being wildly successful and retiring" and "Being a best selling author" as well as more prosaic goals such as "weighing less" and "being great" - after all, according to experts if you do not set those Big Hairy Terrifying Goals, you are not really going to do anything of worth.

The reality, as you who have been on this journey with me (sometimes for many years), has been completely different.

One of the things I have come to realize is that whether from years of being uptalked or simply having a "greater than I should have " self confidence, I somehow managed to adopt feelings of grandeur.  Part of this, I suspect, is due to the fact that learning and reading came very easy for me - and I knew it.  The other part is the fact that, whether by people looking out for me, design, or simply dumb luck I often managed to avoid the impact of bad decisions until later in life.  The combination of these factors gives one a skewed view of the world and one's place in it:  not everything in life comes easily and simply put, we really cannot just "be" anything that we want to be, at least without real costs that sometimes manifest themselves years later.  Nor do we have the ability to plan our lives based on the outcomes and actions of others, who have their own plans and agendas which may or may not coincide with ours.

Too often we believe ourselves to be the main characters in the play, not realizing that we are just as likely parts in the plays of others.

I will go through the exercise of goal setting again in December - I always do and at least for me, it helps me to focus my direction and intentionality somewhat.  The difference this year will be knowing what I know now - mostly the fact that life really can change on a dime and at best at this point I really am a supporting cast in the plays of others - I can perhaps set goals more in line with my actual position and station in life.

Aiming at the stars to hit the moon is good, I suppose.  But sometimes walking under the moon and stars gives a perspective that hurling through the sky can never provide.