My sister, The Outdoorsman, and I met with a lawyer yesterday about the settlement of my parents' estate.
For various and sundry reasons, I will (obviously) not be discussing most of the details here publicly - not that there is anything really to hide or secretive, just that with most legal processes I am sure that the less said about them in public, the better.
In general, it appears to be a rather straightforward process - again, many thanks to my parents' who planned so well against this day. One or two minor paperwork matters and then the settlement of the accounts can begin.
We will need another appraisal of the property. This was recommended course of action - not that we do not already have one, but having a second one after the death of the second parent would resolve any potential issues about value. Also, it serves as a good faith effort to make sure the estate is being settled equally, which is just as important.
As before, we have essentially confirmed that my sister is interested in the cash and I am interested in the property.
I am having mixed feelings about all of this.
On the one hand, the fact that we are at this point makes the passing of my parents a very real event. It is easy for me to segregate their passing in my mind from the reality of their things. Now, in a very real sense their things are passing - to us - and their memory is what will remain.
On the other hand, there are my own considerations to be made. There will be an increase of expenses in my own account, as the estate will not cover the ongoing expenses (nor should it after the departure of my parents). It is good that I have a job again; it does meant that there are additional considerations and planning to made.
The process was never not going to happen; like many things, we cannot predict when it will start - until it actually does.
Good luck with settling the estate TB, when my Dad died there wasn't any difficulty since there were no siblings and their home/property had been sold years before. Always liked the view provided in that photo.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Nylon12. Fortunately there is a common understanding between my sister and I; it really is details. Or at least, that is what it seems like at the moment.
DeleteAlways happy to share the photo - like you, I never tire of this view. Neither, I think, did TB The Elder.
When my mother-in-law passed away, my wife and sister were conflicted as to who would inherit her house. My wife and her Mom were very close (last to leave the house and that due to our wedding) and my wife felt it were important that it remain in her custody. Being as diplomatic as I could, I pointed out that keeping the home would probably make her miss her Mom more. The surroundings would remind her every day of her absence.
ReplyDeleteMy wife thought about it and agreed. Keeping her memories intact with her Mom there in the past was more important.
Anon - That is a sound way of thinking. In our case, my attachment to the land has always been of a different nature than that of my sister.
DeleteThat said - and to your point - we should never keep things that will create stress or distress in our lives.
I'm glad you and your sister have clear purposes. That makes the decisions almost effortless.
ReplyDelete"The process was never not going to happen; like many things, we cannot predict when it will start - until it actually does."
This has been my life the last four years. And you put it into a sentence. Succinctly, too. Thank you for such good, tight writing. Sometimes, my head holds onto a bookmark. Like the story isn't done yet, only need to find the right ending.... I'll read or hear something that puts a bow on the last knot to be tied, and it's over.
STxAR - It does make it easier. The fact that we have talked about it for years is also helpful. And - frankly - the fact that things seem relatively well balanced make it an easy discussion.
DeleteThanks for the kind words: if I actually knew where this stuff originated in my brain, I could likely do it better. That said, I am exactly the same: sometimes someone puts a concept I have been struggling with into word so bright and clear I cannot help but say "Aha, that is it entirely!". And then I never forget them.
Glad it’s going smoothly, in the end all we have are memories so treasure them.
ReplyDeleteBCCL - I am grateful too.
DeleteFunny how in the end that is all we have. I am doubly fortunate, as in the land here I have part of my parents' spirit as well.
It's a lot to handle and take in, TB. You probably already know grief can come in waves, and at unexpected times. Pace yourself. And know you are honoring your parents. You'll find and see them when you least expect it. Blessings to you in the days ahead.
ReplyDeleteThank you Bob.
DeleteThe full impact has not fully hit, I think. I am finding bits of it, like the realization that literally my generation is The Generation of my family for the most part, or picking through pictures for a photo montage and remembering things I had forgotten.
It's hard to actually deal with it until it's a reality. I reckon settling the details of the estate will bring closure on some level. Other than that, it's a matter of time.
ReplyDeleteLeigh, that seems right - you can read about it, but never really know the exigencies until it actually comes to pass. I do think that the estate settlement will represent a closure - perhaps as much or more than death of my mother, as this has been hanging in the background for some years now.
DeleteBlessings to both you and your sister. Take a deep breath and allow yourself some grace ~ that's all I've got to offer. 🙏
ReplyDeleteThanks Lady Locust - and not at all unmerited. I have to remind myself not everything has to be solved "now".
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