One of the warnings I have had about New Home 2.0 is that it is a cloudy. A lot. A "significant portion of the year" a lot.
On the one hand, I think back to my undergraduate college days where I had similar weather conditions and think "Well, that should not be that much of an issue". On the other hand, I realize that those college days were a very long time ago now and things might work out differently for me now.
I mention the weather because, for whatever reason, cloudy and rainy weather make me more thoughtful and pensive.
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I have no idea why this is really the cases. One could make the argument that such weather tends to drive an individual indoors more often to do things like think and read (both activities which I do in fact enjoy). One could also make the argument that such weather tends to visually focus us inward: there is no sky to see above us, just unremitting clouds and either constant showers or on again/off again rain which focuses not on the horizons but on ourselves.
Perhaps it is simply the fact that I have a pessimistic cast in general, and nothing sets off a pessimist like weather that is not at all promising.
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One change that has happened since Hammerfall 3.0 that I cannot shake is that sense that nothing is settled anymore.
I say that. One of the reasons I applied for and chose this job is the fact that as it is at a larger company, my sense of the likelihood of bad times is less and the fact that lower level positions sometimes survive unfortunate times better than higher level ones. And I stand by those reasons. And yet, at the same time, I am coming to the conclusion that I am never going to stop having that urge to look over my shoulder again.
Looking over one's shoulder is a terrible way to go through life of course: one regularly slams into things without notice. The more correct answer, of course, is to 1) Take advantage of every opportunity that currently presents itself; and 2) Already have a plan for what is next.
I have no clue how long we will be in New Home 2.0. In theory, of course, it could be for a very long time. But quite the wiser move to begin planning for what happens next.
Thankfully, the weather here promises to grant me a lot of time to think.
Checking your Six is OK TB, just limit the time you do so. Maybe having a couple Hammerfalls happen so close together is responsible for the unsettled feeling.
ReplyDeleteWise advice Nylon12, and something I need to not be to inclined for that it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. I do need to cultivate the question "What is my next step?" - before that decision is made for me.
DeleteSome people seem to need more sunlight (seasonal affective disorder aka SAD) and use "light boxes" to treat it effectively. I don't know much about it, but it might be worth looking into.
ReplyDeleteI think the events of the past several years plus the ongoing onslaught of the wild and wacky have left almost everyone feeling uncertain that we'll ever reach any semblance of stability as a society. Finding calm in the midst of the storm is one of my goals.
Leigh, several people here have already mentioned both Vitamin D and additional light so it is something we will look into for sure.
DeleteThere is definitely an unsettled feeling to all of this, the sense of second shoe waiting to fall.
I think statements about how likely it is to be one type of weather at any given place is largely psychological. I always feel as if our winters are largely overcast here but when I look back through my journal, there are plenty of sunny days. I think because in wintertime, sun equals really cold, I just notice the overcast days more because that is when I'm outside more often. Likewise, when I was in your new location last year, it was delightfully sunny the entire time we were there, in fact, it was downright hottish.
ReplyDeleteWhen one has experienced multiple Hammerfalls as you and I have, I don't think you can ever regain that sense of job security again. It is a loss of innocence one can never get back.
Ed, I would agree that part of it is what we put into it. Over this past week, we have had cloudy days - but we have had sun in most of them as well for at least part of the day, and the rain was never oppressive. I think like most places, our own mind is the biggest controlling factor.
Delete"Loss of Innocence". I had not thought of it that way before, but you are exactly right. I now seem to start things waiting for them to end.
Maybe keeping home base (Old Home) as your refuge, and seeing New Home 2.0 as the TDY location would help. Having an anchorage is important.
ReplyDeletePossibly, STxAR. There is a certain temporary feeling to all of this that could be helped by your wise counsel of considering this a long term away assignment.
DeleteWhen I moved 27 years ago to where I live now, it seemed as if it rained for months. Although I don't think I have SAD, I do remember the rain, combined with living in a new location, did a number on me. So I get it. At the same time, as my late mother-in-law often said, don't borrow trouble. You have a new job -- an answer to prayer. I think it's fine (and biblical) to mourn and lament when appropriate, but you can hold that in the same space as excitement for what lies ahead. We are all cheering for you!
ReplyDeleteIt is an adjustment for sure, Bob - certainly from our previous home. That said, in the week since I have been here it has not been continuous, 24 hour a day clouds and rain - all days have had at least some sun.
DeleteI am working hard to focus on the now, but am looking over my shoulder a bit still.
On the bright side (pun intended) think of the $$ you'll save on sun screen.
ReplyDeleteDixie
Fair, Dixie! And probably my air conditioning bill as well.
DeleteLong time reader, first time poster here. I'm very humbly sticking my toe into this cohesive group so please know I mean no offense in any way.
ReplyDeleteIf New Home 2.0 is where I think it is, I used to live a few hours north; 3 year military posting as a spouse. I worked in the private sector. The feeling that you speak of wasn't just from the weather. The people of the whole area seemed to just be 'down' all the time. It's hard to describe. The weather played a part certainly; one didn't have time to truly feel 'up' with just a few hours of occasional sunshine. For the military personnel who I interacted with, it was, frankly, really depressing. Many family members just couldn't take it and escaped.
I'm not trying to project this onto you, just trying to convey my experience. Please though, be aware that it is a 'thing' in that part of the country for people who are not from there. It was insidious for me, sneaking in and dragging me down without really knowing that it was happening. I felt like I came out of a serious depression when we left the area. And yet despite all of the debbie-downer stuff above, I am truly happy that you are there and I wish you and Mrs. TB all the best in the world.
CJ