Yesterday was a day of those needing answers.
The entire day felt like one long stream of individuals in and out of my office and e-mail, everyone with questions: What do we do about this? How should we handle that? Do you have this for me yet? When do you thing you can finish that?
I find the whole thing exhausting. By the time I left my head hurt and my anger level had risen through the roof (and I left almost 45 minutes after I had intended, which did not help my frame of mind when I went). It took me almost the entire drive home to pull myself back to a level of equilibrium.
This is everything I hate about human interactions.
I suppose on one side it could be said that this is the logical outcome of the fact that I am in a position where I answer questions all day because 1) It is my job to help make and execute policy and 2) I encourage people to ask questions instead of just acting (and a larger problem occurs on the back side). I should expect that people ask and need information because that is the nature of my job (actually, a much larger nature than most people think, given what I do). And I guess, if I am honest, that this is not really the issue.
The thing that really brought me to a state of agitation was the sense of neediness that exuded from people.
It is not that they are conscious of this or even that they do it in a rude or demanding way. But underlying all the interactions is the sense that the need presented is the most important thing that is going on right at the moment and it needs to be resolved right now, no matter what I am doing.
I am sympathetic, of course. They have their own schedules and tasks to complete and I can provide some level of assistance in doing that. It is just that it sometimes feels like it is precisely when I have the least amount of time to offer that such things are asked.
I do not know what to do about this, really. People's questions are not going to go away and the pace of work is unlikely to slow down at all. And the nature of what I do is not going to change in the least. How then do I manage to manage the needs of others?
A dilemma indeed and to which there is no easy answer. I experience this in two separate situations TB, firstly in work where the term "too many chiefs" holds true and through out any working day I am approach by at least four different managers each with their own requests which are of coarse are of THE top priority. If only they would communicate with each other and truly prioritise the tasks instead of expecting myself to drop everything and throw my small team into their task life would be far easier. I now deal with this by becoming somewhat unapproachable which means that they now tend to think a little more before now requesting that my team look at an issue instead of stamping their feet and demanding. The second experience I have of needy people is my family, more accurately my father and older brother....both definitely cut from the same cloth! It is funny how my perception of these two ever present figures in my life has changed as time has passed. As a youth I always admired them both and would try to live up to expectations and do my utmost to win acknowledgement that I was doing well by them, something that then was never forthcoming from either. As time has passed I realised that both were just human with all the flaws associated with this condition. In fact I now have come to realise that both are in fact weak minded individuals who only have their own concerns at heart. I know perhaps this sounds harsh but it's how I've come to see them. I deal with them these days by not jumping at every request and dropping everything for them but being firm and letting them know that I'll get around to it in my time if it becomes available. Fortunately my partner of the last two years has been very supportive of me in this and has helped me not to waver. Have these tactics worked in both cases? to a degree yes but there are still times when I feel like screaming out loud my frustrations at work and with family. As said there are no easy answers to the needy TB
ReplyDeleteJohn
Thanks John. That sounds right on both counts, the making yourself less available and not jumping at every request. I think in some ways modern business makes the first one much more easy for people in that the structure of the workspace for most (cubes, open work areas) lend themselves to people just "popping in" for a quick question because they can see you, and if they can see you, you must not be to busy. The second - like you, I struggle with this - becoming comfortable with the fact that not every request needs to be responded to.
ReplyDeleteLhiats, TB.