Powerful?

I was out throwing sheaf with The Viking last night.

Monday nights are for heavy sheaf, whereby one takes a fork (a modified pitchfork with either two or three tines), inserts it into a 20 lb burlap bag of twine (mimicking a bag of grain) and tosses it for height.  In our class we use 16 lb bags in competition; 20 lb bags are for practice with the heavier bag to get our form right.

Coming from nothing and working with a great sheaf thrower (who has world class in him to my belief) he has helped me make incredible process.  He has helped me correct my form, fixed my grip and worked on my timing. 

But my sheaves still do not fly.

Oh sure, they can get 14 or 15 feet, but that is it.  Hardly the sort of thing I will need to be a better competitor.

Night after night we try.  Night after night I fly to the height I fly to. He has even commented that my 20 lb bag flies as high as my 16 lb bag..  Night after night we toss.  Night after night it flies low.

Last night, watching me after I had done something to my timing, he said "I know you are powerful than you think you are.  I have to find a way to drag it out of you."

That thought triggered a cascade of words and feelings as I let them roll over in my mind.

I do not typically think of myself as powerful.  I think of myself as, well, me.  Sort of in the background.  Competent in a sort of general way, but certainly not to the level of the A class of any activity or sport. 

But how much of that is self limiting. How much of that is as much the fact that I do not believe it, that I may hold myself back (consciously or unconsciously) as it is the fact that I do not have the ability?  How much of it is me seeing the problem or opportunity, thinking that " I cannot", and then just turning aside to the lesser course?

I believe that within me are abilities and energies of a far greater capacity than what I can drag out and use on a daily basis.  I know that they are there.  I know that, somewhere down deep inside of me, I am powerful, even though it often feels like the world and those around me do not see it - or do not believe it is possible.

The question is how do I get this power out?