Drained

Post meeting let down day.

The day following a Senior management meeting is, for me, one of the hardest workdays of the year (lucky me: they happen four times a year). The amount of effort that goes into each of these - about 40 hours of preparation, the meeting itself ( around 2 hours) and the post meeting write up and sign off (about another 2 hours) equates into so much effort going into the thing that, once down, I simply collapse internally.

This is always a bit difficult as one has all the other work which one is required to do which has essentially been put on hold while I attempt to do my best on a very visible piece of work. Even this morning I'm dragging as I move in my morning routine: the will to do what I normally do is simply not there.

The exercise, of course, is a good one: making presentations to senior management is always a good idea and the exercise of creating, reviewing and interpreting metrics is a useful skill that I can apply in may areas of my life. But the other part of me, the part that is slowly trying to rebuild the energy to go forward and continue with everything else that needs to be done, is asking the question "really?".

Presentations like this and the results remind me of the fact that, at heart, I am an introvert: performing for large crowds, while there may be some thrill in the version of holding people's attention and being recognized, is draining to me. I would still rather talk in a group of ten rather than present to a group of hundred. One can leave me engaged and excited; the other simply leaves me trying to get through the day after.