What to Do

Pondering career stability last night.

I had a long talk with Bogha Frois last night about work and the world and the way of things. As it turns out, we share many of the same thoughts about our current choice of careers.

The biggest point for both of us is the fact that we don't like the fact that we are essentially dependent on an employer for a job. Ah, you may say, this is true of everyone that works for someone else. That's true enough, I suppose - but it doesn't change the fact that the reality is that my career is at the disposal of someone else. I could work diligently and still be let go due to circumstances beyond my control, whether it be a downturn in business, a personal grudge, or a need for a scapegoat.

Which leads to the second point: I don't like the general direction of the economy. It's not my point to argue the pros or cons of the current economic policies (there are plenty of websites that will discuss such things in great detail; we don't do politics here) - what my point is that I, at least, am not filled with a sense that any rebound in the economy will lead to anything remotely like the situation prior to crash.

The third point: If I'm not in control of my career and I'm concerned about the economy, where I don't want to end up in 10 to 15 years is essentially begging for a job in my field, knowing that I will be in too high salary bracket for many due to experience. I've had to interview such people once or twice in my career that I was hiring for. One floats through my mind yet I can't remember the particulars; what I do recall is this sense of a man who was as old my boss interviewing with a quiet sense of desperation because he needed the position. I don't want to be that guy.

So where does that leave me? I'm not really sure. I have always believed that those who are the best in the industry will always have jobs; the problem is being in that top bracket. I also look to my own industry, when seems to be in the continuing throes of layoffs and downsizing, further compacting the labor pool.

Start over in something else? I'm a little too far along for that I guess - although as a friend pointed out, since you've got a daughter in elementary school, you're not really too old period.

Do something on my own? Great in theory - lousy in the practice of deciding what that would be and how I would make it work. My history in this arena ala The Firm is not such that it makes me eager to try again.

Questions without answers, answers I seem to need.

The thing I don't want, the thing I fear more than all, is having these vague feelings and in 15 years saying "I should have done what I thought about" - but by then, it will be too late.