Of all the changes that being promoted to a "People Leader" means (current in vogue phrase for "Manager"), one of the things that continues to surprise me the most is the amount of times people want a thought or opinion from you.
It is not that this should be strange to my line of work (Quality Assurance), nor to the type of individual that inhabits such roles: on the whole, anyone that works in Quality is always highly opinionated. It is just that - as a "People Leader" - your opinions matter.
The fact that I derive so much humour from this situation is based on the fact that I know myself in a way that my coworkers do not. Not just that on the whole I am a highly unserious person; it is that I scarcely trust myself to make decisions for my own life, let alone those influencing a business.
It makes me wonder if this is true for a lot of people that we look to for decisions: Are they as put together as they appear to be, or are they just as often surprised by people asking them for decisions and opinions as I am? After all, I am the sort of fellow that finds myself boldly strolling out of the bathroom with my zipper down or misplacing my keys if I do not put them back in the same place every day. Am I really the one that should be approached for critical things?
In my heart, I would like to believe that almost everyone struggles with this sort of thing, a sort of common Imposter's syndrome where we act as if we know what we are doing, even if we do not. If it does not always lead to great decisions, hopefully it at least leads to great laughter.
That was an important realization to life in general. I always thought of my parents and super heros. Nothing could stop them, they were invincible, all powerful, etc.
ReplyDeleteThen for the first time, you see your father as just a man, not a superman. Your mother is just a mom trying to make the best of her situation. You realize they have broken dreams, failed ideas, real sorrow and pain... and you see them as fellow human beings for the first time. They're struggling with all the challenges of life, just like you are, only you never saw it before.
Blows you away!
I had a muted albeit similar epiphany at a work golf-outing one time. I had shanked my shot on the last hole into the woods and walked my way back to the green through the woods. I came upon the company executive team waiting at the 18th hole to shake everyones hand as the foursomes came in, the route I took they couldn't see me approach... I overheard them describing my boss and our team as total assholes. Should have seen the look on their faces when I said "Hi guys!" from 15 feet away.
Wake up moment, to be sure.
Anon - Like you, I have come to view my parents in a much different light over time. I know they were doing the best they knew how and sometimes failed - the way I like to believe that I have tried my best as well and failed.
DeleteI understand better why my father stayed a job which likely was not what he enjoyed the most in the world - not because he enjoyed it or it fulfilled him, but that it was the right thing to do for his family. That used to be standard course; it is a hard sell now in a world that says "Follow your bliss".
Once or twice I have had similar experiences to what you are describing - like you, they definitely give me a perspective I likely needed but am to proud to think about.
I don't know about anyone else, but I find I'm much more selective about who I ask for information nowadays. Basically because I've figured out that many people don't know what they're talking about. If the person I ask doesn't know and says so, that's the correct answer and I respect them for it. But too often they just make something up.
ReplyDeleteWhen I worked as a charge nurse in the hospital, my first question when I came on duty would always be, who's the supervisor? Some I knew I could trust, but others were just bossy and clueless. If one of those was on, I knew I'd have to do some workarounds to meet patients' needs.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that if people are coming to you and asking for your ideas or advice, it's because they see someone they can respect and trust.
Leigh, I am sorry to say that really up to not so long ago, I was one of those people much more than I should have been. Mostly that was well intentioned on my part - I thought I knew something, but memory is a hazy thing (more so with age). Now I am much more likely to say "I do not know" or "I think X, but let me go check."
DeleteI do think that there is an element of trust and respect as well - not all supervisors or managers are the same.
I hope it means what you think it means, although I often wonder if it is just as much as what Ed suggests below, getting cover for themselves (to be fair, I have done it too).
I don't normally expect to laugh when I start reading one of your posts TB but the meme at the top of this one tickled my funny bone.
ReplyDeleteI don't think feeling this way is true for everyone. Out in the world, I've met quite a few people who care nothing of the consequences of their words on the world around them. I don't know why they are that way other than they are. Like Leigh, I have learned to be selective on who I trust implicitly in their advice and it is always based off a history of increasingly more complex questions that I have asked of them.
Being inside a work environment changes this whole dynamic though. So much of what I did at the places I worked involved the CYOA (Cover Your Own $%&) principle. As a result, you asked advice of people with seniority all the time even if you thought it was not the best advice because at the end of the day, it was what you had to follow and gave you a degree of cover when/if things went wrong. I absolutely hated that part of my job.
Ed - This made me laugh out loud when I first saw it as well.
DeleteI think you are indeed right that a great many people do not feel this way. I wonder if it is because they have never had to deal with the consequences of their words, or they have learned the wrong lesson from being on the receiving end from others.
Sadly, there is very much an element of CYOA. I do think that in a larger company, like where I am now, there is also an element of not knowing the full extent of the system or other sites - thus one can make a decision that does not fit in with the whole.