Offense And Silence

A very classic audit technique which regulatory auditors will use to great effect is simply sitting in silence. Silence is a thing that Americans abhor; we are used to our entire days being filled with one sort of noise or another.  We cannot stand silence, especially in the presence of another person.  Auditors know this; they will use this technique anticipating that the other individual will seek to fill the silence with some sort of conversation rather than just sit quietly.  It is at times like these in reactionary situations that things which were not anticipated to get blurted out get blurted out.

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There are a lot of times I speak when I should not (something I am working on),   But one thing I have learned over the years is to be able to hold my tongue when someone is offensive.

This lesson has been painfully learned by years of responding immediately, which usually leads to arguments that are never resolved or in the most extreme of cases, relationships that can never truly be made whole.  Being silent in such circumstances costs me nothing - oh, I suppose a hurt to my pride or opinion, but these are things that are fleeting in the scope of things.  But what it does do - and perhaps this is what Paisos is getting at - is that over time, those comments seem to trail off and end.  I cannot fully tell you why - perhaps embarrassment, perhaps losing interest at a lack of response, perhaps even a rethinking of how the thing said actually sounded.

Arguments that are one sided at the beginning never start.  And scarcely have I regretted the response to an offensive that I never gave.