The irises are blooming at The Ranch.
----
This week was our 30th Wedding Anniversary.
If you had asked me what was in mind about what "marriage" would be like the day I got married, I likely would have not had a good answer for you. It would have been pretty vague idea based on the examples I had: my parents, my grandparents, most of my relatives and my friend's parents (divorce was still rare in the days that I grew up), Church teachings, and those verses in the Bible that talk about marriage but seem vague when you have no experience with it.
To say I was hopelessly naïve about marriage is an understatement, but I suspect it is for many people - after all, like many human experiences in practice it seems only by living through it can one actually understand what it is like.
That day 30 years ago did not fully anticipate things like disagreements and practical financial matters. It only casually held the experiences of having children, let alone raising them. It did not really foresee things like changing jobs and moving and buying homes and financial distress and figuring out which chores were the best for each to do.
On the other hand, it did not foresee the good things either, like time together and experiencing life in a way that only going through it with someone else there 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. It not foresee vacations and adventures and sometimes just the art of living quietly with someone else.
As wiser heads than me have written, it was nothing like I expected but far more than I could hope for.
Congratulations on your 30 years together. It isn't easy in this day and age to see that happen. So many do not want to put the work in and fight to stay together. Too many married couples just give up and divorce, only to find they are still unhappy.
ReplyDeleteYour last line above is a great quote.
Thank you Anon! I tried to look up the statistics for marriage yesterday as part of this but the statistics were confused and all over the place. In general (it seems), most divorces occur within 8 years of marriage, post-first marriages are more likely to end in divorce, and a fair number that make it to 30 years make it until death of the spouse (Your Mileage May Vary, of course).
DeleteThe line is inspired by a poem from a soldier in the US Civil War discussing his prayer life with God: "I received everything that I hoped for, but nothing that I asked for". That is the way it often seems to go.
Iris. Very nice.
ReplyDeleteMarriage. "...far more than I could hope for." Yes indeed.
Purple is my favorite color John, so it was twofer.
DeleteMarriage is completely novel and completely unexpected all at the same time.
I agree with you. We make a promise to God, and all our friends and family witness it. "Yours till death, no matter what." We have no idea what the future holds, and how that will work out. We make that vow, trusting that God will fulfill it through us. After 30 years, I expect you know each other fairly well, and have rubbed enough of the hard spots off to be a lapped fit. Congratulations on the first steps to eternity together.
ReplyDeleteThanks STxAR.
DeleteI will say that The Ravishing Mrs. TB has most of her rough spots rubbed off. I, on the other hand, still have a great many.
Congrats to you and your better half TB, the years fly bye, eh? That is a nice shade of purple.
ReplyDeleteThanks Nylon12.
DeleteThey do fly by. We realized last night almost half of our marriage has been spent in New Home and (unless things change dramatically) that will only become increasingly so. Where did the time indeed go?
Congratulations to you both, TB. It takes work that so many people are not willing to put forth right now.
ReplyDeleteI love iris.
You all be safe and God bless.
Thank you Linda!
DeleteI love irises too.
Congratulations to both of you for being anomalies in today's divorce happy world. We just celebrated our 19th a little over a week ago. I always find it odd because most of my peers, you included, are a decade ahead of us for the most part. That is why I now sometimes get confused as a grandfather picking up my youngest from school. But I credit my late start to marital strength because by the time I married, I pretty much knew what I was looking for in a spouse.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations, Ed. 19 years is nothing to sneeze at now days. God bless.
DeleteThank you Ed, and congratulations to you as well.
DeleteIndeed, have interior self knowledge of one's self and what one is looking for in a spouse is immensely helpful.
Congrats!
ReplyDeleteThank you John!
Delete