One of the things I am grappling with - something that I am coming to understand is a part of being an adult - is recognizing and accepting when you have made bad decisions.
We all make bad decisions - hopefully less so as we go forward in time, but none the less we still make them. However, when we review the decisions or the outcome of them, we have two choices: we can somewhat airily whistle our way past the decision and its outcome or we can look at the decision, accept its outcome, but still say "You know, that was a really bad decision."
Children - or those who are child-like - do the former. Thus, every decision that results in bad outcomes is not their fault but rather the fault of others. The lack of advancement in their lives is due to "outside forces and factors." And often times, the decision and resulting actions are repeated again and again and again.
But that does not make accepting that one has made a bad decision any easier.
It is easy, in one sense, to say "I made a bad decision". And yet to truly come to grips with it - with the abandonment of common sense or the dereliction of careful planning, of off the cuff decisions that resulted in bad outcomes - can be the most humbling and difficult experience of maturity.
Because in a real sense, it reflects badly on ourselves, especially if the decision was truly life altering in a bad way or the amount of time since we made the decision has been so long that we have become rather comfortable with the idea that it was never really that bad.
As you might have guessed, I am in the midst of confronting some of these myself - in some cases, decisions I made going back almost 40 years. The realization that I sometimes underestimated my own stupidity and ignorance in sometimes rather devastating.
The point is not to dwell on them, of course; it is to learn. But it is also to acknowledge that not everything was as well thought out as it could have been.
Amen and God bless. Wishing you the best.
ReplyDeleteThank you Linda!
ReplyDeleteSometimes it's hard to let go of bad decisions; hard to stop kicking self for making them. Can't say I'm anywhere near figuring it out, but your post really hits the nail on the head.
ReplyDeleteHindsight is always 20/20 TB. And sometimes, there's no 'good' decisions to make. That's been the story of my life for the last 5 or 10 years. It always the worst when you have to make a decision and there isn't enough info to go on. They you have to guess... and anything can happen.
ReplyDeleteGod has no grand children means we are born clueless we often stay that way. or maybe gather a few clues this is called being wise
ReplyDeleteif we could be born with basic knowledge what a change that would make
you just hope that you will have that rarest of gems, 'common' sense after a few decades have passed. wisdom is hard to come by.
Thank you Leigh. I am comforted to know I am not the only one that struggles with clinging to them.
ReplyDeleteGlen, true enough - sometimes we are simply making the best of series of bad decisions. And often - you are exactly right - we do not have enough information to really make the best choice, so we make the choice that seems best.
ReplyDeleteIn one thing only I think I have learned something though: Rushing a decision never really accomplishes anything. I have seldom regretted the decision I never made.
Thank you Deb - But as the old saying goes, the problem with common sense is that it is not that common.
ReplyDeleteI think what would help - at least it has helped me - is being able to actually accept that I made the decision and move on.