Over the past four days - including this day - my dojo has been training with the head of my sword school.
Training with Soke is a rare opportunity, as I am sure that it is with the head of anything. We have worked very hard during these training sessions, harder than I can remember working outside of training in Japan. Which is good, of course.
The difficulty is that the rest of my life keeps hanging in the back of my mind.
This is the weight I cannot escape from at this point of the program, the fact that work is still there (and everything I am not doing while I am training) and all of the other bits which, although perhaps not as time sensitive, still need attention. Even though I am "on vacation", I am not, really.
Part of this - I think - points back to this idea of having a life consistent with one's values, interests and goals (yes, I realize that a life as a swordsman is a singularly impractical one - hang with me for a minute). And perhaps while none of us can completely get there, what we can do is make an effort to close the gap wherever we can. At least try and do less of things that are wildly removed from the things that are supposed to be doing.
(Yes, I know, that implies one knows what one is to be doing. I am working on that.)
Which really points back to essentialism and conscious living, I think. That does make for a nice, unified package.
If only I can figure out what that really means for me.
Not sure this relates; but when hubby retired and we came down to Louisiana, for about the first 6 to 9 months, they kept calling him for this, that, and the other. It got to be kind of comical.
ReplyDeleteEspecially since they divided his workload between 4 or 5 people before he left.
Perhaps you are worried they can't complete whatever without you? Or perhaps you worry they can.
Either way, nothing to be done and I would think that Iai training would require 110% of your focus while swinging a sword around. Or maybe you do that subconsciously?
Sorry to ramble. You will get there, TB. God bless. ♥
Linda, you are correct that Iai training requires 110% focus - but even today, when I was theoretically "off", I had to deal with a situation (that I asked a question about before I left, mind you) and do a phone interview that I did not think I was doing.
ReplyDeleteIt is nice to be needed and all but if I have embedded myself in things to the point nothing can happen without me, that is a problem.
Are you able to train anyone? Hubby trained most of the people who replaced him; but things would come up either unforseen, or because people couldn't remember.
ReplyDelete*hugs* :)
I think that is why I'm so drawn to the journey toward self-reliance. It requires that I be consciously involved, and there is no time for chasing down rabbit trails. Makes me feel like I'm part of my life, not just impatiently passing through it.
ReplyDeleteLinda, I have been slowly transitioning some of my duties to someone else. That said, there are still any number of things that I alone can do or know at this point.
ReplyDeleteLeigh - Oh, that is splendid. "Impatiently passing through it" - that is it, that is how I feel exactly. As if I am rushing through life yet there is nothing in the rush itself, only the speed at which life is moving.
ReplyDeleteHubby knows how that is, TB. He could commiserate. When he made the final decision to retire, he had to bug management for people to learn do certain priority things.
ReplyDelete