Brett and Kate McKay have posted a wonderful (and telling) article over at The Art of Manliness called "Marriage Isn't A Game of Russian Roulette". It is less than 1,000 words and rather short but but pithy, so I do commend it to your attention. In short (and I do not it justice), the thesis is that rather than marriage being an unknown risk with more bad outcomes than good, it can be something that one goes into with risk assessment for a better outcome.
(If you would like, feel free to take a moment and review it. I will just be here, drinking coffee....Read it? Great!)
I do not find any of the recommendations or suggestions in the article at all unreasonable - in fact, they are pretty good ones and ones that (looking back) I probably would have benefited from in my (rather anemic) dating life as a whole, once upon a time. But what I find terribly interesting is that they feel this sort of article needs to be written at all.
As I have commented before, this is one of the most dangerous times (socially) to be a man of any age or status, but especially one who is dating. Almost anything you do is likely to be carefully scrutinized and judged against what the "new social culture" says a man should be. You are incredibly open to misunderstandings, outright accusations, or social shunning. So while I was a little surprised that this article came out now, I am not surprised that it came out at all. I suspect the cultural backlash of men to the current society has begun, and is becoming noticeable enough that something had to be said.
My recommendation? I do not really have a dog in this fight specifically any more, but my comments now would be as my comments then (and really, no different than the article): Risk management and risk avoidance are the best paths forward. Carefully come to know the women you are dating - mostly in public venues where the risk of single source accusations are at a minimum. Assume your actions will always be misinterpreted, and instead hold yourself to a business level interaction (be professional, be thoughtful).
And to re-emphasize one of the article's points, if you have a hint of anything untoward or concerning, walk away. The risk, any more, is simply too great.
Classical marriage arose the way it did because it’s a great deal for everyone. You pool resources and divide chores so you accomplish more as a team than you would individually. The classical approach to marriage is the best too, with long courtships as you describe them, where sex is off the table until the marriage contract is formalized.
ReplyDeleteModern feminism is an attack on women and it has been utterly devastating in affect. When you hurt one of the genders you ultimately hurt them both, and we see the fall out with the rise of men’s movement like the PUA “pick up artists”. They ruthlessly game women to get into their pants and discard them afterward because marrying them involves pain and hurt and no reward. They’ve become feral predators and contributing factor in the perfect storm that is setting up.
I remember as a boy how the smirking pundits of the day joked about the battle of the sexes. It’s an all out war now and nobody is laughing. Faith is a great thing to have in these days.
Glen, the reality is exactly as you speak it: a war in which no-one seems to understand why the fighting is occurring or who to blame, only that there are an increasing amount of casualties on all sides.
ReplyDeleteThe question is, can this end any way but badly?