God was trying to talk to me last night.
This concept can be alarming to some people when I bring it up. The idea - even in Christian circles - that God still interacts with individuals in a way that they feel He is talking them is something which is often taken to the extreme of dreams and prophecies which often seem to have more in common with what the individual believes than any sense of God.
Allow me to clarify a few things:
1) When I say God wants to talk to me, it's not an actual audible voice. There is just a sense on my soul that God wants to "talk" to me - show me something, guide me in some direction. I've learned over the years that if I don't stop what I'm doing right then and listening, that sense of God - and that opportunity - will go away.
2)When I say God talks to me, I don't mean to say I always get what He is trying to tell me. So often - even like last night - I'm not sure I get precisely what I am supposed to. I'm sure this must frustrate Him to no end.
What was the actual point of the conversation?
I'm not quite sure. My reading lead me in two directions: one, to Phil Vischer's Me, Myself and Bob, his biography about the creation and dissolution of Big Idea and what he learned (including the loss of dreams and starting over), and Psalm 25:4-5:
"Show me Thy ways, O Lord;
Teach me Thy paths.
Lead me in Thy truth and teach me,
For Thou art the God of my salvation;
For Thee I wait all the day long."
What was the message? Maybe to consider what my dreams are, maybe to trust God more, to seek Him out and wait on Him for direction.
But I often wonder if part of the whole exercise is merely to see if I will listen; if I will stop everything I'm doing and turn my attention completely to God to hear what He has to say. Perhaps the point of the exercise is not so much communication (although that's good) as it is obedience. Because in the end, if you read the Bible, you'll find that God really only communicates to any depth with those who take the time to listen to him when He speaks.
And I will say this: even in the times when I don't feel that I got anything out of the conversation, the fact that I stopped and listened alone makes me feel like I got something out of the experience.