A Year Of Humility (XL): Serving When Called

In what is almost a complete reversal of my normal operating procedure, I am leading a short-term small group at my local church.

There is almost nothing more anxiety inducing to an introvert than leading anything; the fact that I am a "manager" at work leads to its own sense of anxiety as I try my best to be completely non-managerial.  So the fact that I was suggested by my own small group leader for such a role is nothing short of either amazing or terrifying - or both.

In terms of commitment, it has a limited term:  7 weeks (really 6, as I was gone in Grand Canyon for 1 week).  There is a program in place so I do not have to come up with anything.  I just have to lead discussions for 1.5 hours a week.

It was a offer I almost passed up.

I have led groups in the past but arguably never felt I was very good at them, and with the move from Old Home to New Home my involvement in such activities almost completely ceased except as a member of groups.  It was clear - painfully clear, at least then - that there was no leadership role in my future.  And thus, when I was offered this opportunity, I almost passed it up again.

But I had a long thought about it first, not just buoyed by my small group leader's confidence in me, but by asking God about it - which is in itself always a risky proposition, because He might answer.

He did, in this instance - not in the Burning Bush sort of moment that Moses had or any sort of sky writing, but in the simple sense of a presence that indicated that this was something that I could - and should do.

But what if I fail at it, I threw back.  My record was not stellar.  What if I turned people away from Him instead of bringing them closer?

His response was simply "Whose group is it?"

My initial response was "Mine".  And then I thought about it - for a rather long time, until the response came to me "Yours".  He did not precisely smile at that point, but one could feel the sort of supernatural nod that comes when another party comes to the truth.

It is in fact His - and therefore, my excuse as to outcomes was invalid. I need only say yes and do my best; the results will be the results of His doing, not my fumblings.

Sometimes in our search for humility, we go to extraordinary lengths to demonstrate that we are humble and can learn lessons, even to the point of avoiding those things that we should be doing.  Being humble has its place, but humbly serving when called also has one.

In our search for humility, let us never avoid the ability to serve in any role because we are so "humble" we do not think we can do the job.  After all, it is not our job, but His.